How can you balance listening and talking during coaching conversations?

Based on my experience, a coach might even speak only 10% of the time, mostly with questions, summaries and reflections. It takes a lot of practice to hold the silence, which feels like eternity even when it is only 5 seconds. But you may be surprised, it almost feels like a game of "who blinks first loses" - the client suddenly starts making more connections and reflections at that pivotal moment when you blink and offer your opinions. So, just suck in your breath and hang in there, just in case.

Good coaching relies on asking the right and relevant questions of your client, then listening closely to their answers. To do otherwise would turn a coaching session into mentoring, where you are imparting more information than receiving it from your client. A coach who does most of the talking during a coaching session prevents the client from finding their own solutions, which is what coaching is all about. On the other hand, listening intently allows the client to speak freely, helping to unlock their own thoughts, which they can reflect on, build on and develop into their own solutions.

Active listening is a core skill of an effective coach. Your coaching questions will then be insightful and thought-provoking. This, in turn, will empower your client to respond meaningfully. Also, to encourage introspection and deeper insights, use open-ended prompts, e.g., "can you elaborate?", and "tell me more about that". Then, never be afraid of silences! It's human nature to want to fill the void, but giving your client space to contemplate in the quietness prevents you interrupting their thought process which might lead to realisations and ah-ha moments.

Balancing listening and talking during coaching conversations is crucial for effective communication and facilitating growth. ? Active listening ? Empathic Response ? Ask open-minded questions ? Paraphrasing and summarizing ? Encourage Self-Reflection ? Monitor Speaking time ? Flexibility ? Seek Feedback

"Listening is the most powerful tool in a coach's toolbox. By embracing the 80/20 rule—listening 80% of the time and talking 20%—we create space for profound insights, meaningful connections, and transformative growth to flourish." - Unknown. By dedicating 80% of the time to listening attentively and only 20% to speaking, coaches can create a supportive environment where clients feel seen, heard, understood, and empowered to explore their thoughts, feelings, and goals. This approach involves asking open-ended questions to encourage self-reflection and insight, actively listening to the client's responses without judgment or interruption, and summarising key points to clarify understanding and guide the conversation.

By becoming present with yourself before the coaching call (deep breathing/letting go/heart mind coherence ritual)and setting the intention to stay in your heart through the session. The more present you are, the more you will intuitively feed in to the coaching conversation without the need to over or under share. When relaxed we coach from the heart and therefore we flow with more ease and naturally add more value by getting the balance on point.

Thank you for sharing! The GROW model indeed offers a clear and structured approach to coaching conversations, allowing both the coach and the client to navigate the discussion effectively. I appreciate how it emphasizes understanding the client's goal, assessing their current reality, exploring options, and committing to actionable steps. It's a valuable framework that I look forward to implementing in our coaching sessions to ensure a focused and productive outcome.

I love the sessions as being a two way communications session The grow model and the 80/20 I mix along with Prosci Adkar in coaching of listening asking reasking and then creating the confidence moments in my clients to open and have their views heard no matter where they stand among the stakeholders

Music isn't formed in the notes, but rather in the silence between the notes. Most of the time, your client should be talking and you should be listening not only to what they are saying, but also what they are not. The best opportunities for growth often appear in the silence.