How can you address coachee resistance during coaching?

If you can recognize unproductive reactions to coaching that you’ve delivered well as merely data that’s inviting you to learn more about your employee, you will be able to unlock great insights for both yourself and your employee. A defensive reaction, including one that your employee may not even be conscious of, is a protective mechanism. Your employee is interpreting new information that conflicts with their current beliefs as a threat. Often, defensiveness and resistance stem from fear of failure, judgment, or change. So your job is to make it safe for your employee to hear the information without feeling like they are in danger and where they feel comfortable expressing their concerns and fears.

Coachee resistance is a situation where the Coachee shows a lack of interest in the coaching conversation or does not see the need to take seriously the tasks agreed upon at the end of each coaching session. Most times, this stems from the fact that the Coachee does not seem to understand why they are being coached or thinks that coaching is an avenue where they will pour out their problems and expect the Coach to prescribe solutions to their challenges or problems.

In the past, coaching was often introduced in the context of justifying an executive's termination or the end of a cycle within the organization. This was sometimes due to a lack of awareness or a fear of acknowledging the need for coaching to address certain behaviors. At times, it was associated with the reluctance or shame of admitting the need for external support. Frequently, the rationale or resistance stemmed from the perceived time constraints that coaching demands to drive behavioral change.

To tackle that, the coach needs to know exactly the fear of the coachee from his or her own point of view. If that is done, it will now be easier for the coach to profer solutions that will counteract the resistance. The two most important tool to winning a coachee's mind is by establishing a level of trust and relationship.

Coachee resistance is a common challenge in coaching. It refers to a coachee's reluctance or hesitation to fully engage in the coaching process. This resistance can manifest in various ways, such as defensiveness, avoidance of topics, or skepticism about the coaching's effectiveness. If it's suggested by the organization, the coachee's resistance may be very high depending on the context. Addressing coachee resistance is crucial to ensure the coaching relationship is productive and leads to meaningful growth.

In my opinion, the coachee resistance is important because the success of coaching largely depends on how engaged the coachee is in the process. For whatever reason, if the coachee is not motivated or interested to get coached, either things will not move or will move in the wrong direction. The coaching process is always led by the coachee, whether it is the identification of problem or probable solution. To ensure that coaching is successful, the coachee needs to take ownership for the actions and responsibility for the results of those actions.

It is important to address Coachee resistance upfront, as if not done, it would hinder the transformation that coaching is expected to achieve in the person receiving coaching. In order to address it, there is a need to establish what I call "what is in it for me (WIIIFM)" for the Coachee. If the Coachee does not understand why they need coaching, you might as well not start. The need for coaching must be at a 10/10 level, and how it would be conducted must be completely understood by the Coachee before the process begins. Coaching is hard work and must not be taken lightly.

"What's getting in the way here?" If resistance is never addressed by the coach, the coachee is unlikely to make progress in that given area. Internal or external factors may be contributing significantly to the resistance, and forward progress will be hindered if resistance is not openly addressed.

Coachee resistance holds a pivotal role in the coaching dynamic, and it's of paramount importance to address it right from the start, particularly when coaching is sponsored by organizations. When coachees exhibit resistance, it can significantly impact the effectiveness of the coaching process and hinder the achievement of desired outcomes. Recognizing and acknowledging this resistance early on allows coaches and coachees to collaboratively work towards overcoming these challenges. By addressing resistance at the outset, coaches can build trust, create a supportive environment, and tailor the coaching journey to meet coachee needs and organizational goals This proactive approach ensures that coachees are more receptive to the process

The first sign of Coachee resistance is when the Coachee fails to carry out the agreed task(s) at a previous session without any valid reason. Actually, no reason is valid unless it's a matter of life and death. Why invest in something that you do not intend to nurture? If my Coachee fails to carry out an agreed task, that would automatically become the agenda of the next coaching session. This has to be addressed before we continue. Failing to address it would hinder the success of the coaching engagement.

When looking for coachee resistance during a coaching session I always look at two things: their body language and their word choice. We can see resistance from their body's physical cues. After a big goal or decision has been agreed upon have them close their eyes and ask them "do you believe you can accomplish this goal?" I pay close attention to the words my clients choose. Are they using excited, engaging, and hopeful words to describe the situation? Or are they using victim, defensive, and negative words?

Coachee resistance often appears in the form of a misalignment in the coachee's response. Some clients are unsure but willing, while others are fully bought in and eager to undertake the recommended practices. These are all great, workable situations. What doesn't work is when a client doesn't want to do the work or commits verbally while making clear through non-verbal cues that they are not "here for it." When working with clients, I look for a full-body yes or at least an earnest willingness to engage in the recommended practices. If it's not there, I suggest reconnecting with the client to uncover their real wants and needs and adjust accordingly.

Interesting points of view. Ultimately the boundaries need to be set from the start. The coachee needs to want to grow, be teachable and has desire to learn. If there is resistance, then the arrangement needs to be reviewed. It is not easy being a Coach!

Look out for one of these: 1. Observational Clues: Watch for non-verbal signs like defensive body language, sighs, or frequent interruptions during coaching sessions. 2. Verbal Expressions: Listen for statements such as "I've tried that before, and it didn't work," signaling reluctance to change. 3. Limited Engagement: Coachees who show disinterest, lack of participation, or missed sessions may be resistant. 4. Consistent Defensiveness: A refusal to consider alternatives or deflecting feedback indicates resistance. 5. Expressing Fear or Uncertainty: Openly sharing fears and doubts about coaching can signal resistance. 6. Questioning the Process: Frequent skepticism about the coaching process or its value may indicate resistance.

Understand where the resistance is coming from - is it fear of change, a lack of confidence, or skepticism about the coaching process? By pinpointing the source you can tailor your approach to address it directly. This can be through building trust and rapport, encouraging open and constructive communication, clarifying expectations and being patient. Resistance is a natural part of the coaching journey, and using empathy and a collaborative mindset with our coachees can help them achieve their goals.

To prevent Coachee resistance, I would recommend the following: 1. Describe what coaching is and is not. 2. Get the Coachee to understand that coaching is not easy but hard work. 3. Let the Coachee know that the success of any coaching engagement rests squarely on their ability to carry out agreed-upon tasks at the end of each coaching session. 4. Let the Coachee know upfront that your role as a Coach is to work with the Coachee to agree on a set of actions that they will carry out to help them achieve their desired transformation. 5. Check their confidence level to execute the agreed task(s). 6. At the end of each coaching session, the agreed task(s) should not exceed two.

Coachees need to trust themselves, trust you as a coach, and trust the process of coaching. If one of these foundational beliefs is out of focus, resistance will win every time. Digging in to the coachee's reality and identifying the dissonance is essential when resistance arises, but ultimately the resistance could be avoided by setting crystal clear expectations in the first coaching session. If expectations need to be revisited throughout the coaching experience, the coach should call this out when resistance pops up in the conversation.

Preventing coachee resistance is a proactive process that hinges on establishing a strong foundation of trust and collaboration. Start by clearly defining the coaching purpose, expectations, and boundaries, ensuring they align with the coachee's needs and motivations. Building a trusting relationship is paramount, accomplished by demonstrating empathy, curiosity, and respect while fostering a safe, non-judgmental space for open communication. Involve the coachee in decision-making and action planning, granting them autonomy and ownership over their goals. By engaging the coachee in the process and tailoring it to their preferences, you create a sense of ownership and commitment that significantly reduces the likelihood of resistance.

When Coachee resistance shows up even after you have adopted a prevention technique, the next step is to stop and reassess the need for coaching engagement with the Coachee. This reassessment will determine if the need for coaching still exists. If the need is lacking, it's best to end the engagement amicably and avoid a situation where the Coach is made to feel ineffective.

To address coachee resistance effectively, it's vital to recognize that resistance often arises from a lack of trust in the coaching process or from a place of fear. The first step to overcoming it is to establish a safe and non-judgmental space where coachees can freely express their thoughts and emotions. Encouraging open and honest conversations that focus on the engagement's objectives, visualizing desired outcomes, and highlighting the benefits for the executive, can serve as a strong starting point in overcoming resistance and re-engaging the executive with the process.

Resistance in coaching can surface as defensiveness, hesitancy, or topic avoidance. How a coach addresses this is vital for a successful coaching relationship. Avoid Judgment Approaching resistance without judgment is key. Labeling it negatively can heighten defensiveness. Building Rapport and Trust A strong rapport and trust are essential. Without these, overcoming resistance is challenging. Having Honest Conversations With trust established, open conversations can address resistance directly but gently. Respecting the Coachee’s Agenda The coaching journey is the coachee's. While coaches provide expertise, they should guide, not dictate the path.

Rick Maurer offer a pretty simple guide about resistance. 1. They don't get it. 2. They don't like it. 3. They don't like you. So, first of all, find out the main reason behind the resistance, use your communication skills.

Coachee resistance can often be interpreted as a sign from the coachee, as if they are suggesting, "This is my growth opportunity," but framed negatively. It seems that many individuals possess a "shadow" in their psyche. The shadow represents the immense potential inherent in people, yet often remains untapped. It's challenging for anyone to fully realize every aspect of their potential, especially given the constraints of time. Such potentials are typically well-concealed and difficult to discern. Resistance is one of the few avenues to uncover this hidden golden vein.

In my opinion, coaching is as much a growth opportunity for a coach as for a coachee. A coach may also, at times, tend to operate within their comfort zone. Encountering resistance from the coachee could help the coach move out of comfort zone. The following could be 2 ways to do so - go beyond the current awareness about coachee's SWOT and revisit any shift in coachee's aspirations, goals and perspectives. Exploring new areas of coachee's personality would also be beneficial here. -treat the coachee's resistance as a checkpoint to and recalibrate current coaching approach and align it better to the coachee's new needs and goals.

When my clients push back I find it's usually because we are working on some tough and deeply rooted issues. I think of these types of conversations as indicators of what we need to dig deeper into. It's necessary to challenge them and to call out unproductive behavior.

You don’t. Stop pushing. It’s not your job as the coach to impose a view (or propose an idea, etc.) that the coachee would resist. If your coachee is “resisting”, this is an indicator for you to observe what you’re saying and ask open things like: “What’s feeling most challenging here, right now?” Let them find their own way to the truth.

Navigate coachee resistance by fostering a safe space for open dialogue. Understand their concerns, validate emotions, and clarify the benefits of coaching. Adjust your approach to align with their preferences, emphasizing collaboration. Encourage gradual steps toward change, ensuring coachees feel empowered rather than pressured.

Coachees may resist because coaching can be emotionally challenging. They might fear change, feel vulnerable, or grapple with self-doubt. As a coach, acknowledging and empathizing with these emotions is crucial. It's not just about overcoming resistance; it's also about providing emotional support. Additionally, exploring resistance as a joint endeavour, where both coach and coachee collaborate to understand and address it, can lead to breakthroughs. Emphasizing that resistance is a normal part of growth and not a sign of failure can help coachee navigate it more constructively. In this way, executive coaching becomes not just a tool for skill development but a transformative journey of self-awareness and personal growth.