How can you actively listen and practice divergent thinking during difficult conversations?

In my experience, Active listening and divergent thinking are crucial skills for effective communication during difficult conversations. Active listening involves paying attention, providing feedback, defying judgment, and responding appropriately. Divergent thinking encourages ideation, delaying judgment, building on ideas, seeking variety, and being open-minded. By practicing these skills, you can turn challenging situations into constructive dialogues, fostering growth and understanding. By practicing these skills, you can turn challenging conversations into constructive dialogues and foster a more respectful and open environment.

Active listening, in my opinion, is when you manage to engage actively with all of your colleagues in one brainstorming session, team meetings, etc. Ask questions that can develop the conversation on that subject or lead the conversation on the right path if someone from your team loses the conversation primordial objects. Plus, by actively listening as a leader, you can stimulate your team to engage more effectively on what needs to be executed on that topic, project, etc., in your company. For example, I like to do active listening by listening to my team members talking and using meditation music at the same time to relax the mind and stimulate our brains to be more productive and to be able to focus on what we need to do anytime.

One of the biggest challenges concerning active listening is that most people are reactionary. When someone else says something: 1. Critical of their work/skills/ideas/etc. 2. That is different from the direction they want to go 3. Contradicts their perspective They want to immediately defend themselves. The advice that I have always given is—take notes. Instead of succumbing to that knee jerk reaction to interrupt, write the objection down (or use a digital notepad app) and when everyone is finished giving their thoughts, come back to your objection. Often you find that once someone has fully completed their thought, your objection is not as relevant as you first thought.

The five sensory modalities provide evidence that the act of being listened to is strongly associated with emotions of connectedness and motivation. Active listening enables individuals to experience a sense of being respected. This enables the listener to gain understanding and awareness of various viewpoints and interpretations linked to distinct experiences of the speaker. Listening frequently imparts insights that are not explicitly articulated. Moreover, active listening serves as a means of acquiring knowledge for the listener while simultaneously creating an environment that encourages the speaker to freely articulate their thoughts and feelings, thereby promoting a feeling of acceptance and integration.

Active listening, first of all, requires presence. You need to be in the moment and not in the head, thinking about what you should say and how you should react, which will surely happen if you try mentally to apply all these "active listening" pieces of advice. So, practice mindfulness, be in your body, and listen with the body, all the rest will follow.

In my experience, divergent thinking stems from a neurodivergent way of seeing the world around you. Neurotypical problem solvers see one problem at a time. Neurodivergent problem-solvers see the problem field and go directly to the root/cause problem, opening new frontiers for R&D.

By discussing with all my team members anything related to any projects that we’re doing, I stimulate brainstorming sessions that lead to divergent thinking. This practice leads me and my team to find more solutions on choosing the right one for each project, etc., that we’re dealing with. Plus, divergent thinking is stimulated by leaving anyone to find answers, etc., for each situation they have for each project, etc., so they can be their leader on how to do the right things for the project, working individually and not in the team setting. Divergent thinking will be more critical in any company life cycle to make the team, company, employees, etc., more adaptable to anything at any time.

During a meeting to finalize the design direction for a new line of kitchen cabinets, disagreements arose regarding the choice of materials and finishes. To encourage divergent thinking, I initiated a brainstorming session specifically focused on exploring unconventional materials and finishes. I encouraged team members to suspend judgment and generate ideas without restrictions. We considered a wide range of possibilities, including repurposed materials and innovative finishes, allowing everyone to contribute without fear of criticism. This approach fostered a more creative environment, enabling us to unearth unique design concepts that eventually led to an innovative yet cost-effective solution.

Although it is accurate to assert that divergent thinking has the potential to facilitate problem-solving, it is important to note that this capacity may be limited to some extent. In the context of relationships, the presence of divergent thinking is good but can present certain difficulties, particularly when the objective is to foster agreement and collaboration among two individuals or a group of people in order to pursue a shared goal. Nevertheless, it has been suggested that both divergent and convergent thinking possess value and can be utilized in various circumstances.

The key to divergent thinking is suspending judgment. Whenever we are in a conversation, whatever we hear, immediately judgments pop up in our heads. So, the first skill you need to develop is to become aware of those judgments. The second, once you are aware, to be able to suspend them and keep the mind open. "What other opinions are possible about this apart from the one that has just emerged in my mind?" is a useful question to practice. And you know what can help you with developing these skills? Meditation;-). It trains you to become aware and to suspend judgment at the same time.

Listening and thinking (whether divergent or otherwise) tend to be at odds with each other. Meaning it's difficult to really listen if you're thinking about your reactions or responses. So it's key to focus on listening first. I open the floodgate of my brain and heart, and let the words flow in. Staying calm, receptive, non-reactionary, curious. Then I take time to pause -- if only for a few seconds -- before actively "thinking" about what I heard. There's so much to discover by letting the words of others settle and level out. What I thought was going to be "difficult" may well turn out to be easy.

* Approach discussions with curiosity and a willingness to understand diverse perspectives without judgment. * Focus on the speaker, maintain eye contact, and use non-verbal cues to show attentiveness and respect. * Summarize and rephrase what's been said to confirm understanding and show empathy. * Stay patient, acknowledging emotions, concerns, and viewpoints even if they differ. * Encourage exploration of various ideas and possibilities without prematurely narrowing down solutions.

In order to demonstrate active listening and divergent thinking, the listener should initially find a convergence point with the speaker by summarizing the information they have received and subsequently engage in divergent thinking. There exists a potential for the speaker to perceive a sense of dismissal when the listener promptly introduces novel creative concepts that were not originated by the speaker. By adopting the convergence approach, the speaker would experience a sense of inclusion and have their thought process acknowledged and respected, while at the same time providing them with an opportunity to acquire a new thinking style.

So, you are present. Your focus is on what the other is saying and not on your opinions, reactions, what you want to say next, and who is right and who is not. That is active listening: you direct your full attention to the act of listening. Whenever you become aware of your judgments regarding what's being said, you suspend them. And then, when it's your turn to speak, you can explore with open mind and heart all possible interpretations and ideas that the words of the other inspired in you. In order to avoid confrontations, a good trick is to avoid saying "I" and "You". Don't make it about personal opinions. Simply explore ideas and invite the other to do the same. Let ideas emerge in the common field instead of trying to prove yourself.

Be respectful: Even if you disagree with the other person’s perspective, it’s important to be respectful and avoid attacking them personally. Focus on the issues and ideas, not the person.

Issues in life revolve around the pursuit of individuals who possess the ability to actively listen and provide valuable contributions in the process of generating innovative solutions to various issues. The significance of these two qualities cannot be overemphasized. Nevertheless, the listener's ability to be self-aware and suspend judgment can act as catalysts for engaging in active listening and promoting divergent thinking.

* Active listening cultivates a deeper comprehension of diverse perspectives, fostering empathy and reducing misunderstandings. * Active listening builds trust and strengthens relationships by demonstrating respect and genuine interest in others' viewpoints. * Divergent thinking allows for the exploration of multiple solutions, sparking innovative ideas and out-of-the-box thinking. * These practices facilitate smoother conflict resolution by encouraging openness, leading to collaborative problem-solving. * By incorporating diverse opinions and ideas, this approach leads to well-rounded decisions considering multiple angles and factors.

When it is not about egos fighting and proving who is right and who is wrong, you enter into a collaborative co-creation that brings to life new ideas, new understanding, new perspectives. It doesn't mean that in the end of the interaction you need to change your opinion and point of view about the subject. But you might be surprised with realizing something unexpected when you keep your mind open and allow yourself to immerse in the play of ideas without judgments.

* Preconceived notions or biases may hinder genuine understanding, limiting the effectiveness of active listening. * Preconceived notions or biases may hinder genuine understanding, limiting the effectiveness of active listening. * Strong emotions in difficult conversations might obstruct the application of these techniques, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts. * Excessive divergent thinking might lead to information overload, making it difficult to converge on actionable solutions. * Active listening requires interpretation, which, if done inaccurately, could lead to miscommunication and unintended outcomes.

I strongly believe that following a meeting agenda can truly be helpful for divergent minds. Taking everything step by step, as well as planning enough time for the meeting is truly important. Furthermore, one should always stay respectful, and conscious of other people's beliefs and opinions.

Furthermore, it is imperative to not overlook one's own needs and well-being. We often become engrossed in performing actions that cater to the needs of our customers, inadvertently neglecting our own well-being. When engaging in active listening and divergent thinking to support others, it is important to also apply these skills to oneself. Engage in the practice of actively attending to the signals and sensations emanating from both your physical and mental states. When confronted with difficulties, it is advisable to utilize divergent thinking and actively seek assistance from others.

The main challenges are to learn to be present and to suspend judgment. It requires regular practice in your daily life. See the previous comments regarding that. One of the pitfalls, however, of this kind of interaction could be a loss of focus and lack of any concrete solutions. So, not all conversations require divergent thinking. Sometimes you just need to be to the point.

The challenges of active listening and divergent thinking is that they're hard to practice and often we don't get the opportunities to actually use them. People look different when they're doing those things, and they have different methods of thinking. Foster those differences and make them grow rather than push them away, even if they make you uncomfortable--discomfort helps to grow sometimes.

Using yoga, meditation, music, etc, in your brainstorming sessions with your team members can stimulate more activity listening, divergent thinking, etc. So the company can become more involved in the continuous process of changing in the market, employee selection process, etc. that will bring more progress, diversity, etc., and adaptability capacity to the company to become a powerful force to help anyone that works for the company, local, global community, etc., and to build a great brand legacy for the future generations that can learn more and to grow more the company as well.

After travelling so much and working in so many different countries, I miss here a mention to cultural differences in communication and listening. Cultural diversity makes communication hard sometimes. But this is a whole other universe that deserves a dedicated article. Nice weekend to everyone!

There is a game called "Glassbeads Game" (yes, it's inspired by Hesse's novel). The rules are the following: A group is choosing a word or concept to discuss. Everyone has one minute to talk and to express whatever comes to mind regarding the subject. The players speak in turns through several rounds. It is prohibited to say "I" and you", so it is about playing with ideas rather than discussing whose opinion is better. When someone is speaking the others are listening actively, focusing on what's being said instead of thinking "What I will say next". Let the words emerge when it's your turn to speak. It's a very beautiful interplay of ideas and co-creation of new meaning. And a very good practice of everything discussed here.

I remember in a project meeting addressing budget constraints for a kitchen cabinet design, active listening and divergent thinking played a pivotal role. As a team encountered disagreements on material costs, I actively listened, refraining from immediate judgment and encouraged open dialogue. By allowing divergent viewpoints to emerge without criticism, I stimulated the team to brainstorm alternative material options, exploring various cost-effective yet quality-oriented solutions. This approach encouraged everyone to contribute freely, fostering a creative exchange that led to innovative cost-cutting measures without compromising the design's integrity.

Undoubtedly, the development and improvement of active listening and divergent thinking skills necessitate deliberate learning and consistent practice. It is important to recognize that our capacity to confidently assert these qualities is contingent upon our understanding of their significant practical value. Once we learn the fundamental reasons for the importance of these qualities, we can effectively utilize the methods and strategies required to offer solutions.