How can resilience improve your public speaking message?

Every great presentation, just like every great product, is an iteration. You can't hit gold the first time. Resilience means taking data from each time that you deliver the presentation to evolve and improve it, without attachment or taking offense when you receive critical feedback. This is the best way to keep improving your message so that it hits home each time you deliver it.

I remember doing stand-up for the first time and being incredibly nervous but prepared. Some in the audience laughed, others just listened, but all were on my side. What kept me performing then and what keeps me speaking now is knowing that I have a unique perspective and message to give. That gives me the resilience to keep going - and never stopping being true to me.

The only way to get better at something and to improve is to be refined by it over time. Even our muscles in our bodies require resistance in order to be shaped into works of art. Diamonds are another example of pressure creating and shaping something beautiful. For me, public speaking was once my greatest fear. For years of my life I was controlled by my fear and terrified to speak in front of others. My voice would close, my face would get red and often I would get tears in my eyes if I had to speak in front of a group. Those days are behind me now and since then I have made speaking a career and landed a TEDx talk. None of this would have been possible without me embracing my challenges and facing fear head on.

People aren't motivated by a speaker who presents themselves as perfect. Embracing your imperfections and speaking to your setbacks helps build your credibility as someone who overcame those challenges. For example, I was speaking via Instagram Live and we had some tech challenges! I wasn't able to get on the live when it first started. Ironically part of my talk was about how to handle a tech issue when speaking! Though it wasn't planned, experiencing that with an audience solidified the message and helped others recognize how to handle an issue themselves.

We are most resilient when there is harmony between 3 dimensions. The 1st dimension is: are we focused on managing impressions & hiding behind a social mask or are we being our authentic self. The 2nd dimension is: are we focused only on the intellectual content of our presentation or are we also self-aware of our emotional state while speaking. The 3rd dimension is: do we see the audience as friendly, standing on the same side of the court as us or do we see them as hostile, on the opposite side of the court. We are most resilient when we are authentic (not fake), when we are self-aware of feelings (not just in the head focused only on intellectual content) and when we see the audience as friendly & supportive (not hostile & judgmental).

Putting yourself out there for others to see is difficult. It's vulnerable. But it's brave. Part of that bravery is seeking feedback but recognizing that you will never "please" 100% of the people, so knowing there will be negative, constructive or corrective feedback is important. I was once told to never pay attention to the overly positive feedback (the 10's on the satisfaction scale) and not to pay attention to the overly negative (the 1's). Focus on the mid range of feedback. That's the true tell. The people who don't just check all the right hand boxes on the post event survey, but rather, take time to provide meaningful input to support you through improvement. That's where you can really see how you did and where to grow.

actively seeking feedback is crucial for building resilience in public speaking. Constructive or critical feedback acts as a mirror, revealing unknown aspects of your speaking. Embracing challenging feedback fosters continuous improvement. Remember, feedback is not a reflection of your worth but an opportunity for growth. Process it with an open mind, distill valuable insights, and refine your approach. This bolsters speaking skills and enhances mental toughness. Valuing and acting on feedback establishes trust and enriches the public speaking journey, making your message authentic and powerful.

In my experience, feedback doesn't have to come from someone else. Record yourself when you speak. One of the most uncomfortable (and growth-inducing) experiences you'll ever have is listening to or watching yourself speak. By self-evaluating, you'll find yourself improving dramatically. When watching or listening to your speeches, ask yourself critical questions. What do you think you could improve upon? Are your points punchy? Is your pace too quick or too slow? How are your movements and gestures? If you were an audience member, would you think about you? Incorporate your learnings into your next speech and continually evaluate your growth.

Seeking feedback is a powerful tool for improving public speaking skills. Constructive feedback provides valuable insights into your strengths and areas for improvement, offering a perspective that you might not be aware of while speaking. It helps you identify patterns in your delivery, body language, or content that may impact your message. Embracing feedback allows you to refine your communication style, tailor your message to better resonate with your audience, and build self-awareness. Additionally, feedback fosters a continuous learning mindset, encouraging you to adapt and grow as a speaker, ultimately enhancing your ability to connect with and engage your audience.

An honest feedback without prejudice is a great resource to have. It could be anyone who can be relied upon for a trustworthy and considered reflection. A close friend, partner, mentor or even an adult child.

Self-care is a must. Building resilience and prioritizing self-care before speaking is so essential and often overlooked. Personally, I find it helpful prior to speaking to “get in a zone” through some alone time, clearing my mind, and visualizing a seamless delivery of keynotes. I suggest incorporating this self-care routine before events to manage stress and alleviate anxiety. Additionally, I've integrated meditation and a brief final run-through with a colleague a day before speaking. This practice aids in assessing pauses and key points while maintaining a calm demeanor.

Self-care should be an essential aspect of our lives, no matter what our work entails. It is a proven way to enhance our speaking performance and energy management. Being in a positive state has a significant impact on our performance. I love implementing mood hacking techniques to my pre speaking rituals. A good self-care ritual is able to relax our mind and help us focus and prime us to perform more eloquently and effectively. Give yourself priority before a speaking engagement. Self-care is exactly this, creating the headspace, the mood and the energy to be able to show up powerfully, and ready to make a mark!

Be compassionate! You are trying your best. You start at good, get better and then best. This is based on taking action, not in your thoughts, though you should only compare against a realistic expectation. Think of all the hours experts put into their craft. It started with the first step.

Certainly self care demonstrates self esteem and discipline in life overall. However before any public engagement it’s important to take a few minutes to centre yourself internally through deep long breaths and also by listening to uplifting music to get into the right vibe which affects your body language and gives out non verbal cues to the audience in the first few minutes.

I have had to give presentations the day after a night of entertaining and whatnot. Not a good idea. Some may be able to pull it off but not many. Get enough sleep, be rested, and do not eat anything questionable the morning of a presentation. You need to be free of physical distractions to be your best mentally.

Just like every "failure," every success should be reviewed. Completing an after action review helps you identify what worked, what didn't, what to hone in on and amplify, and what to avoid. Identifying and implementing what led to a successful presentation not only boosts confidence, but preps you for the next public speaking event.

Resilience, that unwavering strength in the face of adversity, becomes a beacon of light in the art of public speaking. It's like a steadfast ship navigating through the unpredictable seas of stage fright and anxiety, transforming nervous tremors into a powerful force that elevates a speaker's performance rather than subduing it. Imagine a speaker, poised and composed, as they encounter the unexpected during their speech. Technical mishaps, unforeseen queries, or a sea of diverse reactions from the audience – these are but mere ripples to the resilient speaker. They adapt with the grace of a dancer, their composure unshaken, finding solutions as effortlessly as a poet finds the right words.

Celebrating your successes in public speaking is crucial for building resilience. It's about recognizing the journey you've taken to reach each milestone, no matter how small. This celebration can be as simple as treating yourself, sharing with others, or reflecting on what you've learned. Remember, resilience is not just about bouncing back from setbacks, but also riding the wave of your successes to move forward.

I thrive on creating "lessons learned" documents, which often have the misnomer of only including opportunities for improvement. We often fail to acknowledge and celebrate successes during a project or other endeavor. However, knowing what went well (and why), is just as important as knowing how to mitigate negative issues in the future.

It is always useful to pause and review the path you are coming through. It lets you discover the missing parts in the story and tells you a lot where you should develop. Having this kind of pauses at the end of the presentation may also assist. I would suggest the presenter following questions to ask after the presentation: Was my message clear? What is the variance between the message I conveyed and the one I wanted to reveal? What actions people will take after this presentation? Should I continue the discussion individually with some of the listeners to give more details?

Reading this question reminded me the value of repetition (failing over and over again). In the movie Knockaround Guys, Vin Diesel plays a character named Taylor. “500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.” I think that’s the value of building resilience through doing the thing. By doing the thing over and over and over again, you will get better and be able to handle any bumps in the road!

Resilience can improve public speaking by enhancing emotional, mental, and motivational skills. Resilience is not something that you are born with, but something that you can develop and strengthen through practice and experience. You can also nurture and build your resilience through a wide variety of interactions with people in your personal and professional life. These interactions can help you alter the magnitude of the challenge you’re facing, crystalize the meaningful purpose in what you are doing, or help you see a path forward to overcome a setback. These are the kinds of interactions that motivate you to persist and improve as a speaker.

Focus on the deeper meaning behind any action/desire. Utilize your own Personal Core Values and draw empowerment from that. Yes inspiration and motivation are important, but they are both fleeting. Empowerment taps into the true meaning behind the end result, which will help you literally climb any peak in life, because the temporary struggle is miniscule compared to the the feeling of total satisfaction and achievement.

"I may not have made every mistake there is to make....but I'm still trying." Failure is not something to be afraid of. Stop thinking you aren't "good" at public speaking. Just like any other discipline in life, repetition is the key to improvement.

Having trained 7000+ adults in public speaking I believe one of the biggest obstacles to success is the way we become distracted and embarrassed by hearing our own voice at that volume, after all it is unusual to talk that loud. To build resilience we must practice over and over (out loud) until hearing our voice and experiencing it at that volume becomes normalised. This can help remove nearly 50% of the fear from public speaking.