How can introverts build professional relationships?

When I was 23 I went into sales despite being shy with a severe stutter to build some confidence. Within a year, I was promoted to management. The leading reason for this jump was because I sat with and dissected the qualities I possessed that I viewed as negative to see them from a different light. Shyness. Introverted. Sensitive. Society has a cruel way of treating these qualities like something we need to fix. I didn't succeed in that role in spite of these qualities. I succeeded because of these qualities. There's a lot of value in framing the way you see yourself as an observant person who first absorbs the world and the people in it.

When I first entered an industry that favored the extroverted characteristics such as being outspoken, quick thinking & response or regular socializing, it became clear in order to thrive in that environment, I had to be know my strengths. As an introvert, I prepare behind the scenes before meetings/presentations, crafting my questions/responses with thought & analysis. This builds confidence when I do speak up at the meeting. Being a good listener also helps me build more holistic solutions.

Creating meaningful connections is what makes introverts tick. Small talk drains. Therefore a good strategy I use when I have to network is to set a target for one good meaningful connection. I am also selective when it comes to which event to attend so I can manage my social energy. I believe one meaningful connection is more precious than many business cards collected.

Ice-breakers can often feel canned or forced. But it's hard to have the meaningful conversations we crave without first warming the waters. For events, the question, "If you weren't here tonight, what would you normally be doing on a Tuesday night?" works wonders. It opens the door for people to talk about their interests outside of work, while allowing you to spot if there's any overlap. The same goes for the question, "Where do you call home?" as opposed to "Where are you from?" It's a simple shift in language but it gets people talking about where they're most comfortable while opening the door to ask follow-up questions about what they like about it.

I love changing up questions to go beyond the superficial. "What do you do for a living" or "How are you" are questions that are increasingly hard to answer. And it stops the conversation from diving deeper. Instead of "How are you?", I realize asking about "What's one thing you've been working on?" or "What's something exciting that's been happening for you" brings the conversation to a different level.

For introverts who find in-person interactions daunting, the digital realm offers a comfortable alternative. Start by commenting on posts to initiate conversations. This method is less intimidating and helps you share your thoughts comfortably. If public visibility worries you, opt for private messaging. It's a more personal way to connect and follow up with contacts. Online tools are not just for meeting new people; they also help maintain relationships with those you've met offline. This approach allows you to build a consistent personal brand that reflects your personality and values, all from the comfort of your own space. It's a flexible, controlled way to network and grow professionally.

Amid life's hustle, it is vital to prioritize mental well-being, especially for introverts navigating the professional networking landscape! Introverts might find networking events draining; it is essential to schedule downtime afterwards. Take a 3 to 4-day break post-events to recharge and follow up with new contacts. Focus on nurturing existing relationships rather than constantly expanding your network. Cultivating deeper connections is LESS overwhelming and MORE rewarding than meeting numerous people. Remember, quality trumps quantity in networking. This approach not only preserves energy but also builds more meaningful professional relationships, enhancing both your career and personal well-being.

I used to team up with other introverts to go to events, but the reality is we relied on each other too much and tended to stick together instead of meeting new people. From my experience, the ideal person to team up with is someone who loves going to events and has no problem striking up conversations as it allows you to chime in when you're comfortable. If you're better at advancing conversations than starting them, consider partnering up with a "starter." You may find it takes the pressure off.

I bring a wingwoman or a wingman to networking or social events. My 'wingperson' steps in when I forget a name or knows the "it's time to go" cues. It's a tag team. I step up to support my 'wingperson' where necessary.