Here's how you can strengthen your self-assurance and assertiveness through practical exercises.

In my experience, understanding what situations trigger your insecurity is the first step to building self-assurance. Reflect on moments when you felt inadequate or hesitant to speak up. Was it during a meeting, social event, or when faced with criticism? Identifying these scenarios allows you to prepare and practice responses. Visualization techniques can be particularly effective here; picture yourself handling these situations with confidence, rehearse your actions and words, and you will start to feel more in control when they occur in real life.

Identifying the triggers that cause feelings of insecurity is a crucial step towards building self-assurance. Take some time to reflect on instances when you felt inadequate or hesitant to assert yourself. Was it during a meeting, social gathering, or in response to criticism? Recognizing these situations enables you to prepare and practice your responses. Visualization techniques can be especially helpful; imagine yourself confidently navigating these scenarios, rehearse your actions and words, and gradually, you'll begin to feel more empowered and in control when faced with similar situations in the future.

Reflect on when you feel the most fear, guilt, anxiety, or anger. These are low-level energy sources that hold us back however usually hold the secret to what unmet need we may still be carrying through our lives. A "trigger" is just an alert that something is out of alignment for our soul. Start to reflect on those thoughts and bodily feelings that are produced during that "trigger event". Then ask, where is this coming from? What is the opposite behavior or thought I can choose to counteract the reaction? What is the truth in this moment?

I would agree with rehearsing your responses to minimise the risk of a trigger knocking you off your stride. Though everyone learns differently and responds different to triggers. I almost always get a sense of uneasiness right before I do any public speaking but you would never know. The second I start to speak everything goes away and so long as you’re talking about something you really know about any inadequacies quickly disappear. Though I do prefer to “wing it” or improvise as my style my mind does like a 10 second rehearsal right before starting the speech. But I have also done many well rehearsed speeches in the army and when you work through questions that could be thrown at you, your confidence is on a much higher level.

Setting boundaries is foundational to assertiveness and self-assurance. Begin by identifying areas in your life where you feel your boundaries are being encroached upon, whether it's in your professional, familial, or social spheres. Next, practice expressing these boundaries clearly and assertively, ensuring that others understand and respect them. Role-playing scenarios with a supportive friend or mentor can help you refine your communication skills in this regard. Learning to assert your needs firmly yet respectfully is essential for cultivating self-assurance and garnering respect from those around you.

Positive affirmations are a powerful tool for nurturing self-assurance. Integrate them into your daily routine to cultivate a mindset of confidence and resilience. Select affirmations that resonate deeply with you, such as "I am capable and resilient," and repeat them regularly, especially during moments of self-doubt. This practice rewires your thought patterns, reinforcing a positive self-image and bolstering your assertiveness in various situations.

Assertive communication is a skill that can be honed through practice. Begin by focusing on the clarity and directness of your speech in low-pressure situations where you can express your opinions or needs. Pay attention to your tone, body language, and word choice, aiming for a calm and confident demeanor. Use "I" statements to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings, and be concise in your communication. As you practice assertiveness in these smaller interactions, you'll become more comfortable applying it in more challenging scenarios.

Regular reflection is vital for personal growth, especially when cultivating assertiveness. After social interactions or instances where you exercised assertive communication, take a moment to reflect on the experience. Consider what went smoothly and what could be enhanced next time. A journal can be a valuable tool for tracking your progress and emotions throughout this journey. By regularly reflecting on your experiences, you'll gain insights into your development and refine your approach to assertiveness over time.

Embracing challenges is the ultimate test and refinement of assertiveness skills. Seek out situations that push you out of your comfort zone, whether it's volunteering for a new project or initiating a tough conversation. These experiences provide fertile ground for applying your assertiveness techniques in real-life scenarios. Each challenge you tackle serves as a chance to strengthen your self-assurance and demonstrate your ability to navigate difficult situations with grace and confidence.

A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there. In order to grow properly you need to embrace challenges. Start off small until it becomes a habit then work on your bigger challenges. Reach for those really big goals and little by little you’ll start to see a change in yourself something you’ve not seen before. It is really important to maintain this momentum in life and to regularly test yourself. It may not be a nice feeling at the time and you may want to pull your hair out when doing some of it but the rewards you gain don’t just stop when your done with one challenge because you’ll have learned skills or improved on them and that is something that lasts a lifetime.

Practice, practice, practice. Take an 18 year old me many moons ago. I had little confidence in my own ability when I first joined the military. The job role I had demanded that I had to learn fast by consistently putting me under pressure and we were taught to lead a crew of 4 men. With constant practice and memorising scripts and knowing what needed to happen there was a time one of my crews were unstoppable. We all knew what had to happen but being the leader in control of it all really grew my confidence and my ability to take control of situations This is certainly not a quick path by any means and there are no shortcuts but you too can be assertive through thorough training and constant practising in whatever field you are in.