Here's how you can offer constructive feedback to your boss tactfully.

There are two types of people in the world: those who are open to feedback, and those who are not. Chances are if you're thinking of giving feedback up the food chain, your boss is one of the former. The formula for offering honest feedback - no matter the audience - is: support, confront, support. Set an intention. Be clear on WHY you're giving feedback. If it is for any reason other than in service of the goals you are BOTH serving, abandon your effort. Do a vibe check on yourself that there's no way this is a power trip of yours. If you plan to proceed, find an opening in communication where you can deliver the feedback inside of respect, trust and directness. Once you deliver feedback, be prepared for a dose of feedback for you as well.

Be open to hearing their perspective. Listen to your boss's explanation and be willing to discuss solutions together. And use "I" statements. Frame your feedback from your perspective, emphasizing how the behaviour affects you or the team.

This can definitely be a slippery slope, so make sure you take time to prepare and reflect before acting. The following questions are quite helpful: - What is your intention for providing feedback? What do you wish to accomplish? - Has your feedback been asked for? - Does your company have processes in place for providing feedback in general? - Is honest feedback supported in your company culture? - Does your boss encourage you to provide open feedback?

Just like with any important conversation, providing feedback to your boss should be done at the right timing, for both of you. Consider your boss and your team's workload and overall goals. Choose a time when you are both relatively more relaxed and definitely schedule ample time to have this discussion. Don't sandwich it in between meetings, but rather request a proper dedicated meeting just for this subject. Respect your boss' schedule but also make sure that you are calm and centered before you begin. Finally, if your feedback is related to a specific project or task, consider whether you want to share before or after the project is completed - this is especially important if the project is significant in scope and impact.

Dedicated Time: Arrange a specific time for feedback rather than delivering it spontaneously. This shows respect for your boss's schedule and allows for a focused, uninterrupted conversation. Use the "Sandwich" Approach: Start with positive feedback, then address the area of improvement, and finish with another positive point. This method helps balance the conversation and reduces defensiveness. Be Specific and Objective: Focus on specific behaviors or incidents rather than generalizations. Use concrete examples and avoid making it personal to ensure the feedback is constructive. Express Empathy: Acknowledge the challenges and pressures your boss may be facing. Showing empathy can create a more supportive atmosphere for feedback.

All conversations about feedback must be held in private. Confidentiality is key, so choose a space to hold your meeting where you know you will now be interrupted. Since this particular conversation will be centered around feedback for your boss, it is especially important to be mindful of privacy. Avoid having the conversation: - In a meeting room before or after a team meeting has taken place - Over the phone where you are not certain who else might be listening on the other side If possible, hold the meeting in person, in a private space. If in person meetings are not possible, ask for a virtual meeting but make sure you let your boss know what you will be talking about so that they can ensure privacy on their side.

Reflect on your intention for providing feedback? Then provide your feedback in a way that supports this intention. It is usually recommended to start with something positive, then mention your feedback point, and end with another positive comment. However, sometimes this is so predictable, that positive comments are brushed off altogether by the recipient. The most important elements are authenticity and respect. Speak with actual facts and focus on the change you want to see happen, which will allow you to achieve your goals as a team member better. Don't make it personal, but rather choose your wording carefully to reflect processes, impact and ideas for improvement.

"Approach this challenge with clear solutions, not emotional reactions." Situation: You notice that important project updates are often siloed within individual team members, leading to confusion and missed deadlines. Feedback: "I've noticed that sometimes key project updates aren't always shared across the entire team in a timely manner. This can lead to missed deadlines or duplicated efforts. To improve communication, I'd like to suggest implementing a central communication channel, like a shared project management tool or a weekly team update meeting. This would ensure everyone on the team is on the same page and can adjust their work as needed."

Instead of active listening, I find that mindful listening is much more effective in any communication. Mindful listening means: - Listening without interrupting - Listening without making any judgements - Listening without focusing on our reply - Being fully present and focusing on the other person's total communication: verbal and non-verbal. Take note of facial expressions, body posture, tone of voice, eye contact - Noticing the effects of what the other person shares on our own body, mind and heart. What thoughts come up as you listen? What emotions are arising? What happens in your body? Can you notice without reacting? - Allowing for conscious pauses before you reply

Forget "active listening:" research shows that being silent during a conversation doesn't necessarily lead to greater retention of what transpired. Why? Silence sometimes means you're formulating your response while the they're talking. It may seem like you're listening when you're not. Similarly, if someone interrupts you to insert their thoughts inside of yours, they aren't necessarily stepping over you. While it's important to give people space to have the floor, don't beat yourself up for sharing that space. Instead, pay attention to the level of connection, understanding and unity. Care more about making others feel heard, validated, and understood. It's important not to get hung up on what "active listening" should be like.

Don‘t give feedback without asking! Only if green lights are ahead feedback should be provided. Otherwise it is pointless! There is one exception: when it comes how you are treated, you have to stand up for yourself! Immediately! In a calm, objective and confident manner.