Here's how you can excel in a leadership position with high emotional intelligence.

According to my experience and knowledge empathy is the cornerstone of effective leadership, indispensable for fostering inclusivity, positivity, and collaboration in a team.Being present and empathetic listening to team members not only build trust and loyalty but also nurtures a culture of excellence. Developing empathy and listening skills requires consistent focus, discipline, and feedback, potentially enhanced through courses. Engaging with team members one on one, showing care and concern, strengthens connections and empowers collective problem-solving. Ultimately, a leader's commitment to empathy reaps significant dividends, fostering a work environment where people feel valued, understood, and motivated to contribute their best.

"Know Thyself" - the very first step is to understand what works well and what does not. It is essential to master your own emotions to be a better leader. Frequent self-reflection and consistent improvement are essential; be a self-parent. Having a positive aura can influence your surroundings and help you overcome conflicts and stressful situations. One can leverage proven frameworks like SWOT, MBTI, and the Johari Window to understand yourself better. My motto towards this is "Prepare, Practice, & Reflect." Additionally, having a good mentor can provide you with new perspectives, help you overcome difficulties, and develop strategies that work well. Listen actively and understand the context well, practice positive approach! Read more!

This is one of the most important and hardest things to do. One way to do practically is reflecting in a timely way on your experiences and interactions very soon after, asking - what specifically did I do well? What can I do differently next time? What emotions came up for me and how did I handle them - was it a fight or flight kind of response? Self-awareness and understanding negative hot buttons is essential. Keep an informal log. Key is asking for feedback frequently -- using those same questions above from direct reports, peers/colleagues, internal clients, and more senior leaders.

In my experience as an HR Leader, managers who are exceptional in their job and are recognized by their teams as such are usually those with high emotional intelligence (EQ). While excelling technically is important to advance professionally, developing EQ is 10x more valuable and this is a muscle you can learn to exercise. Self-awareness is the first step towards developing EQ. This means recognizing and understanding your emotions. You can develop your self-awareness by having a habit of regularly reflecting about your experiences as a leader. Eg. "In X situation, what went well/not well? How did I impact that outcome as a leader?" Also, it is a good practice to ask for feedback from other stakeholders as they can bring valuable insights.

"Know thyself" - Do I need to write more? That's truly what leaders need to embrace. Yet, in my experience it is also one of the hardest things for leaders to put into words. Before starting to lead others. Then you must know yourself. It is a continuous journey that never ends. But it needs to start before or as soon as you become a leader for others. What gives you energy? What drains you? What triggers you? What inspires you? What are your strengths? What is your story? These are just some of the many questions. I recommend working with a great leadership coach to truly find your answers and be challenged in the process. One great place to start can also be tests like the Enneagram or MBTI/JTI. These can give you a foundation.

Empathy is arguably the most crucial skill every leader must possess. The ability to detach from the internal and external forces driving individual actions and behaviours and step into your team’s shoes to see things from their perspective is invaluable. This practice is essential for fostering inclusivity and a positive work culture, which strengthens team bonds, encourages loyalty, boosts morale, and promotes collaboration. To lead with empathy, a leader must first engage in deep introspection to understand their own emotions. This self-awareness forms the foundation of empathetic leadership. Additionally, actively seeking to understand diverse perspectives, stories, and lifestyles is crucial for connecting on a deeper level.

Be present, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand how they are feeling. Being empathetic and truly getting to know your people can make a world of difference for both parties. With empathy comes trust, loyalty, and in turn creates a culture of excellence. Take a moment to think about a great leader you've had in the past that you went the extra mile for...I'm sure the bedrock of their leadership was rooted in empathy.

Empathy and listening are among my top strengths. How did that happen? Years of consistent focus, discipline and feedback. It's about listening for the core thoughts and feelings of what the person said from THEIR frame of reference, and reflecting back to them. If you haven't taken a course on empathy and listening skills, do it. We all can be better. As a leader, being a empathetic listener pays big dividends. Engage with your team members 1:1, show care and concern, and use/reinforce those same skills in interactions with the full team. Ask open ended questions to get their insight and perspectives - and be sure to factor them into problem-solving. People support what they help create!

Empathy goes beyond feeling another's emotions. Put yourself in their shoes, understand their perspectives, and respond with compassion.

Communication Clarity starts with understanding and managing your own emotions. Develop a practice of "??????????????????"—a deep, reflective conversation with yourself to increase emotional awareness and develop a robust emotional vocabulary. Start by taking responsibility for your emotions. Use statements like "?? ????????... ???????? ?? ??????????..." to separate emotions from assumptions. This will help prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications. By stating your feelings clearly and owning them, you create a foundation for honest and empathetic interactions. You also improve your ability to empathize with others, read social cues, and create an environment where everyone feels heard and supported.

One of the CEOs that I worked with was a quiet, calm, and very effective leader of a global organization. He said to all of us as leaders, "be aware of the shadow that you cast." I will never forget it. As a leader, it's our job to create an environment where people can thrive, where they're heard and helped through difficult situations. It's our job to create an environment and experience that is better than the one that we experience. Be the calm in the storm, listen and help find ways to allievate the stressors for your team.

Trust and inspire. That is really what leadership is about. Stephen Covey has written a wonderful book by the same title. It is well-worth a read. Trust and inspiration are two cornerstones of great leadership. And a huge part of both is being a real role model. You go first. You show the way. You show that you know how to take care of yourself. You show that it is alright to admit mistakes. You model the behaviour that you want to see. And then you reserve time for your employees. Reserve time that they can use to get mentoring from you. Time that you also spend understanding what truly motivates each of your employees. This helps them, and you to thrive in the workplace both as individuals, as a team and as an organisation.

Having high EQ means actively inspiring and motivating your team while building resilience. Resilient teams handle challenges better, adapt to change, and recover quickly from setbacks, leading to sustained productivity and innovation. By fostering resilience through inspiration and motivation, leaders create a supportive environment where employees feel confident and secure, enhancing job satisfaction, reducing stress, and boosting morale, all of which contribute to long-term success. Building resilience raises team members' EQ, making them more empathetic, self-aware, and adept at managing relationships. Resilient and emotionally intelligent workplaces become more agile, competitive, and ready to thrive in any circumstance.

In my experience, the best ways to do this is to know, and consistently expand your knowledge of each team member. Have frequent 1:1s and ask questions to understand their passions, positive and negative hot buttons, their primary style, and challenges. Continually find ways to align their work to what they love to do, and that will stretch them. Understand HOW they like to be recognized (not necessarily rewarded - which is a distinction), and do it abundantly! Specific constructive feedback is also essential to motivation - have the courage to give it.

High EQ leaders make informed decisions that consider emotions and logic. Gather diverse perspectives, acknowledge emotional undercurrents, and make choices that benefit the team and the organization.

EQ in leadership is used to 'Sense, imagine, mirror, identify, understand, see, listen, and feel' the 'emotions, thoughts, points of view, what is said, and feelings' of the people you lead. It is using this various permutations effectively that makes one a leader with high EQ.