Here's how you can assert yourself without being aggressive.

If you are shy or otherwise struggle to make your voice heard, aggression and assertiveness can seem like the same thing. If you're more likely to join in any conversation and enjoy making your opinion heard, the same might be true. However, the distinction is important. An aggressive approach is more about being heard or being right, regardless of others, while being assertive is about sharing your thoughts and opinions while also giving space for others' to do the same. Using an aggressive approach decreases the likelihood of your being heard and understood. When you recognize the value of dialogue, which is an exchange of ideas, you can begin to value the importance both of sharing your own thoughts while listening to others as well.

To communicate assertively without aggression Where possible prepare. Know clearly what the main point is that you want to get across. Less is best. Use less words to communicate clearly, more words creates confusion and can increase emotions. If emotions are rising embrace silence. In coaching we say "let silence do the heavy lifting," the same is true in assertive communication. Silence can keep aggression down and can allow time for processing on both sides.

As Brené Brown observed in her research on courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy: "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." Clear communication fosters trust through honesty, transparency, and respect for everyone's time, ensuring clarity and ease of understanding. Drawing from the principles of Marshall B. Rosenberg's nonviolent communication (NVC) model, "I" statements promote empathy by articulating feelings and needs without assigning blame or criticism, nurturing constructive conversations where all participants feel safe and heard. Many studies consistently demonstrate that using "I" language significantly reduces misunderstandings and hostility, thereby cultivating compassion and mutual respect.

Setting boundaries is making clear what's okay and what's not okay. We have to know where we end and others begin if we really want to show up with empathy. Like the previous section, using "I" statements is crucial as setting boundaries is expressing what *you* need and not what the other person needs to do. Questions to reflect on: - Was I clear with myself and then others about what's okay and what's not okay? - Did I respect my own boundaries in the situation? - What boundaries need to be in place for me to be in my integrity and generous with my assumptions about the intentions, words, and actions of others?

To be able to stay calm under pressure is a definitely a huge plus for leaders. If one isn't, one would tend to react in a way which likely wouldn't be helpful in dealing with the situation on hand. Ideally one should be able to stay even minded, listen & empathize with others to understand their points of view, and examine the situation from all angles, and then respond. When we are able to stay calm, we can have maximum focus & mental clarity, and therefore be at our assertive best. Mindfulness is a great technique to pursue to build our inner calmness, as it teaches us to be even-minded under every circumstance. Mindfulness also helps us to be compassionate as well, and that helps us to be not just assertive, rather be kindly assertive.

Una buena #Comunicación ha de empezar por una escucha activa y empática para dar respuestas asertivas y constructivas.? Cuando comprendes al otro, podrás valorar si puedes abrirte emocionalmente, o por el contrario, has de poner primero límites de respeto. Esto evita conflictos innecesarios y abre espacios de mayor confianza.? Ayuda a consolidar vínculos de colaboración fuertes y saludables.

Asserting yourself can be extremely challenging and sometimes impossible in oppressive environments. This isn't your fault—it stems from pervasive and problematic beliefs incorrectly associating assertiveness with bossiness, bullying, and disrespect. These misconceptions often lead people to hold back from expressing themselves openly to avoid misunderstandings, rejection, harm or judgement. All of us have the right to advocate for ourselves and be treated fairly, independent of whether others understand, agree with, or support our boundaries. The more we honour our feelings and express them, the more empowered we will be. I believe that the first step to cultivating this is self-compassion and loving-kindness. (My heart is with you!)