Here's how you can accept feedback graciously and avoid defensiveness.

Approach feedback with an open mind, recognizing it as an opportunity for growth and improvement. Listen actively and attentively without interrupting, ensuring you fully understand the feedback before responding. Show appreciation for the feedback, even if it is critical, by thanking the person for their insights. Avoid taking feedback personally; focus on the specific behavior or outcome being discussed rather than viewing it as an attack on your character. Reflect on the feedback, ask clarifying questions if needed, and demonstrate a willingness to make necessary changes.

To accept feedback graciously and avoid defensiveness, start by listening first. Focus on the speaker without interrupting, and try to understand their perspective fully. This approach shows respect and helps you gain valuable insights. If you feel defensive, take a moment before responding to ensure your reaction is thoughtful and composed. Thank the person for their input, acknowledging their effort to help you improve. By staying open and receptive, you demonstrate maturity and a genuine willingness to grow.

By active listening, you create a safe space for open and honest feedback, fostering trust and encouraging the speaker to share theirs insights freely. Listening is not just about hearing words but also about understanding the underlying concerns and perspectives. Give the speaker your undivided attention by putting away phones or other tasks. Show you are engaged and interested in the conversation. Ask open ended questions, seek specific details to clarify the feedback. Avoid interruption and let the speaker finished their thoughts before responding. Show empahty by acknowledging the speaker 's feelings and appreciate their perspective. Summarise all the feedback positively and take action for improvement.

I must add that until we face our shadow and keep our egos in check everything we do or say is going to be just a performative act like a magician captures the attention of his audience. The active listening will be expressed by the orchestrated verbal and nonverbal speech that had been taught by society. Is the reason I think at times feels like you are in a dejavú. The feeling of defensiveness I personally believe arises from wounds we yet haven’t heal and when someone triggers us is like rubbing salt on it. We have lots of pain receptors that will initiate responses like reflexes that leads to move away from the source that is causing pain. Maturation doesn’t happen over night nor is a passive process.

When you are provided with feedback, it means the person who is giving you the feedback cares about what you do. That is a compliment, because it means you are having an impact. Let that person know you value their opinion. Thank them and ask them what they based their feedback on. Define what they want to accomplish by providing you with feedback. Once you understand that, you can speak directly to their concerns. Tell them you will incorporate their feedback into your daily routine, and work on accomplishing goals with the information and help they have given you. Remember, they didn’t have to give you feedback. By giving you feedback they are telling you what is important to them. Which will help you succeed with everyone.