Coaching a senior executive who challenges your authority. How can you regain control and lead effectively?

Coaching isn’t about control; it’s about guiding someone to uncover their own potential and become a more effective leader. When someone questions the process, it can indicate resistance to doing more transformative work. This could be a defense mechanism or a sign that they’re uncomfortable facing certain truths. Therefore, I find it important to name the assumption in a gentle and transparent way and ask targeted questions that encourage exploration of what’s driving the resistance. The goal is to help them lean into the discomfort and uncover insights about themselves and their leadership journey. By creating a safe space for honest dialogue, I help them move beyond the surface-level hesitations and into deeper, more impactful growth.

Effectively coaching a senior leader who challenges your authority requires a balance of empathy and assertiveness. Start by establishing credibility through demonstrating expertise and understanding their perspective. Use active listening to address concerns and validate their experiences. Clearly define the coaching process, emphasizing mutual respect and shared goals. Set boundaries to maintain professional decorum, and consistently reinforce your role as a coach. Offer constructive feedback and actionable insights, focusing on their growth and organizational benefits. By building a rapport based on trust and respect, you can regain control and lead effectively, guiding them toward positive change and development.

To coach a senior executive who challenges your authority, establish mutual respect by acknowledging their expertise while asserting your role. Start by aligning on shared goals, highlighting how your insights can drive their success. Use active listening to understand their concerns and address them with evidence-based strategies. A study shows that 83% of executives value coaching that offers measurable impact (ICF, 2020). By demonstrating value through tailored feedback and actionable steps, you reinforce your authority. Stay calm, confident, and focused on outcomes, ensuring the executive sees you as a partner in their growth, not an adversary.

El coaching, como el amor empieza por uno mismo. Antes de generar confianza en el alto ejecutivo, pregúntate cómo está tu confianza. ?Cómo sabes que desafía tu autoridad? ?Cómo sabes que tienes algo que demostrarle? El proceso se trata de que se observe no de que vea lo valioso que tú eres como coach. Mientras él se descubra el protagonista del proceso y lo acompa?es a mirar lo que no había visto, a preguntarse lo que no se le había ocurrido, ganarás su respeto. Escucha a tu coachee antes de iniciar el proceso, interésate por conocerlo, por saber qué le apasiona, cómo ha sido su trayectoria profesional, haz que se sienta comprendido desde tu escucha activa.

Boundaries for business coaching start with the coach’s understanding that they are not a therapist. Good luck with that. The issues that an executive will bring to a coaching relationship have root causes. That is why remembering we are not therapists is a challenge. So often the exec needs to modulate criticisms and temper language. Often execs need to learn how to be demanding without being rude, crude and insensitive. Be accountable. Hold the exec. accountable. Accountability: I am responsible for my words and my actions and what they invite into my life, even the unintended consequences. If the meeting is at 9, being there at 9:05 is not acceptable. Set boundaries you both agree on at the start.

Spa- Establecer límites claros es esencial. Es crucial definir roles y expectativas desde el principio para garantizar una relación de respeto mutuo. Aunque se reconoce la vasta experiencia del ejecutivo, el coach debe dirigir el proceso de manera profesional y orientada al crecimiento sin imponer autoridad creando un espacio estructurado donde ambos puedan lograr objetivos comunes. English- Setting clear boundaries is crucial. It is important to clarify roles and expectations from the beginning to maintain mutual respect. It’s not about being authoritative but about creating a structured environment where both can work together effectively towards common goals.

Para mí uno de los límites clave es establecer el rol de cada uno. El coach dirige el proceso pero el cliente es el responsable del contenido del mismo. El coach no dirige, no asesora, no diagnostica, solo se controla el proceso de coaching y sus sesiones. El coachee es el responsable de lo que quiere trabajar, el nivel de profundidad al que quiere llegar y determina los objetivos que quiere conseguir. El coach tiene que tener las competencias adecuadas para, a través de preguntas generativas, hacer reflexionar al ejecutivo, hacer que se cuestione sus creencias limitantes, ayudarle a cambiar el observador que es, y apoyarle en las decisiones que tome para conseguir sus resultados.

Una característica fundamental de una figura de autoridad es saber establecer límites. Eso es lo que brinda confianza y seguridad en todos los contextos: saber qué está permitido y qué no lo está, qué tipo de conductas se reconocen y cuáles tendrán una consecuencia. Se el primero en respetar los límites, reconoce los puntos en los que esté cumpliendo en contrato de coaching y aplica las sanciones en caso de incumplimiento. Establecer reglas claras y acatarlas es una de las características más valoradas en los líderes según un estudio realizado por la Dra. Sunnie Giles para HBR. La misma Dra Sunnie Giles incluye en la lista de cualidades valoradas el clarificar expectativas. Te recomiendo que preguntes qué espera del proceso.

As a coach, I don't assume any authority. I am there to facilitate the client. In fact, it is in their remit in the coaching agreement to go where they want to go with the coaching, I will provide a framework and a non-judgemental space for them to think. If we are talking here of someone who doesn't take criticism well and is threatened by coaching, we need to remain calm in our questioning. Probing where we need and let the client know that they are in charge of the direction, we are there to support them. Open questions are not only better coaching questions, they are also less threatening.

Asserting authority for a coach seems counter-productive. Generate respect for your opinions; be both personable and knowledgeable. Generate respect for yourself: Be calm. Be respectful. Make friends. Be curious about them outside of work, without becoming a therapist. Business coaching is not life coaching...except when it is. The issues that show up at work that are related to soft skills will be the same issues that show up in their life. Generate respect for yourself as a person and a professional and asserting authority is a non-issue. You are coaching this person for a reason. Who decided? Why? Talk to the person that decided this exec needs a coach before you start coaching.

As a coach you are there to assist their development you're the SME and there maybe times where the are difficult conversations but this is part of the service to challenge respectfully but moving forward in a positive direction.

La autorreflexión es clave en un proceso de coaching, si el coach maneja la metodología y tiene las competencias adecuadas, hará con preguntas generativas y retando al coachee (si este lo acepta) que el cliente reflexione, se conozca más, se gestione mejor, amplíe su campo de visión, vea diferentes maneras de actuar y elija la que le parezca mejor para alcanzar los objetivos propuestos.

Meiner Erfahrung nach hilft oft auch das Tool des Entkathastrophisieren. Hierbei sollte eine Herangehensweise, die der Klient für falsch h?lt einmal intensiv bis zum Schluss durchgearbeitet werden. So kann der Klient realisieren, dass selbst der "worst case" gar nicht so schlimm ist bzw. nicht eintreffen wird.

Self reflection is a vital tool for coaching, I would not need authority over my coachee but I would require mutual respect and openness . I would always provide space to explore behaviours without fear of judgement.

Eng-Collaborating on goal-setting with senior executives is key in a coaching process. It's important to guide them in defining challenging and motivating achievable and measurable goals. This can help the executive become more committed and engaged in the sessions. This approach fosters a proactive attitude toward the results they aim to achieve. Esp-Colaborar en el establecimiento de objetivos con altos ejecutivos es clave en un proceso de coaching. Es importante orientarlo(a) para que defina metas desafiantes y motivadoras pero a la vez alcanzables y medibles. Así el ejecutivo tendrá un mayor compromiso y se involucrará más en las sesiones. De esta forma promoverás en el o ella, una actitud proactiva hacia sus metas.

Los objetivos los determina el alto directivo, no es opcional. El coach colabora con preguntas generativas para que el directivo establezca los objetivos SMART, vea sesión a sesión si se están consiguiendo y cómo o no y por qué. Qué va a conseguir el directivo al alcanzar los objetivos que establezca y cómo se va sentir con ello.

No hay Coaching sin meta. Ahí es donde el alto ejecutivo se da cuenta de que no va con el “terapeuta de negocios” sino con un profesional que lo acompa?a a establecer y lograr sus objetivos.

Feedback, regardless of who you are giving it to, should be immediate, certain, and forward looking. In the case of an executive, they may no longer get feedback as often as when they were lower in an organization. To set the stage for feedback to be received, you might ask them about their practices of giving feedback and then ask if you can use a similar method. You might simple ask if this is a good time. Once a receptive environment is attained, you’ll have the best chance of landing the intended message.

No estoy de acuerdo en dar feedback a un directivo si a ayudarle a que reflexione sobre su actuación y haga una autoevaluación. Otra cosa es celebrar los éxitos cosa con la que estoy totalmente de acuerdo.

Feedback from a coach is either using the tools of active listening or is most likely not being heard. Feedback is not something a coach needs to set aside times to offer, quite the opposite. Feedback is the coaching conversation; it defines the coaching role. "I hear you saying" not "you said," is the core of Active Listening. Respect for the person being coached is either automatic or there will be no relationship. You have not hired to "fix" someone, they are not broken, they need a different perspective, a different or larger toolbox. Google Active Listening. Read more than one web site. Learn active listening, then teach active listening. Become a better coach.