You've lost touch with a valuable contact. How can you reignite the connection effectively?

While working with iRelaunch that is all about getting people back to work after a career break, I come across this question often. What we have realised over the years that you are "frozen in time" for the people you have worked with or interacted with even if some time has passed. Being intentional and honest with your ask about why you are reaching out now, reminding them about your past conversations/interactions/anecdotes, how has the recipient moved up in their career and how can they support you in your endeavors is a goos starting point. Also the Covid times have "normalised" virtual coffees so it's relatively easier to contact people than it used to be.

To reconnect with a valuable contact, start by sending a sincere message. Acknowledge that it’s been a while and express your interest in catching up. Mention something you both have in common or a recent achievement to rebuild the connection. Show that you value the relationship, not just for business, but personally too. Offering something helpful, like advice or a chance to collaborate, can also help reignite the relationship.

It all depends on how we lost touch and how tight our relationship was. I’m definitely a personable type person. So I’m all about reaching out with an authentic message. If they respond back, I’m more than happy to ask them the best way to be in touch and that works best for them!

I start by reflecting on what’s changed since we last spoke. I consider any career moves or milestones they may have achieved, ensuring I’m up-to-date before reaching out. For instance, if I learn they’ve taken on a new role, I might congratulate them and express genuine interest in their new challenges. I avoid making the time gap the focal point, instead focusing on shared interests or past collaborations. By personalizing my message with thoughtful details, I show that I value the relationship, making the reconnection more meaningful and effective.

I assume truly valuable contacts are always made friends. Mine were. That way, contacts again are easy. Friends remember true friends... the good humor in memories always serves me well. I have some over half a century now, spread all over the country. Sometimes a simple gift remembered is given again... brightening up the others day, making the past, present.

When crafting your message, think about what made your past interactions memorable. I’ve found that starting with a reference to a shared experience or a meaningful conversation can instantly warm up the tone. After that, be upfront about why you’re reaching out—whether you’re seeking advice, sharing an opportunity, or just wanting to catch up. Keep it clear and genuine, and steer clear of anything that feels like a cut-and-paste job. A little personalization shows that you’ve put thought into reconnecting, making your message stand out and feel authentic.

To effectively rekindle a relationship with a valuable contact, it's crucial to choose the right time. Look for a moment when reconnecting is natural and meaningful, such as during a slow season, around a shared interest, or in response to a relevant event. Tailoring your outreach to these occasions can make your reconnection more impactful and timely.

Timing can make all the difference when reconnecting. In my experience, reaching out during calmer periods—when your contact isn’t swamped with deadlines or major events—can lead to a much more positive interaction. For example, I always take into account their time zone and any known commitments before sending that message. This shows that you respect their time and have put thought into choosing the right moment. A well-timed outreach is more likely to be met with openness and enthusiasm, setting the stage for a meaningful reconnection.

Patience really is crucial after hitting send. I’ve learned that giving your contact space to respond on their own time is important. We all have busy lives, and sometimes even the best intentions get lost in the shuffle. If you don’t hear back right away, resist the temptation to follow up too soon. I usually wait a couple of weeks before sending a gentle reminder. This approach shows that you respect their time and aren’t just looking for an immediate reply. In the end, patience often leads to a more positive and welcomed reconnection.

I focus on offering genuine value. Inspired by the principles in The Go-Giver by Bob Burg, I think about what might benefit them, whether it's sharing a relevant article or introducing them to a helpful connection. For instance, if they’ve recently shifted industries, I might send them a report on market trends or suggest a networking event. By centering the conversation on their growth and success, I demonstrate that I’m invested in their well-being, not just my own interests. This approach fosters a meaningful, mutually beneficial relationship moving forward.

When reaching out, think about how you can make the reconnection meaningful for them. For example, I’ve found success in sharing a relevant article, event, or opportunity that aligns with their interests or current projects. By offering something of value, you’re showing that you’re not just thinking about your own goals but genuinely considering how you can support their growth and success. This approach not only gives them a reason to engage but also lays the foundation for a mutually beneficial relationship going forward. It’s a simple yet powerful way to show that you care about their journey as much as your own.