You’re in a tough negotiation. What are the most important skills to have?

1 Prepare well

One of the key skills for any negotiation is preparation. You need to research your counterpart, understand their interests, needs, and constraints, and anticipate their arguments and objections. You also need to define your own goals, priorities, and alternatives, and set realistic expectations and boundaries. Preparation will help you avoid surprises, build confidence, and create value.

2 Listen actively

Another essential skill for negotiation is active listening. You need to pay attention to what your counterpart is saying, and also to what they are not saying. You need to ask open-ended questions, paraphrase their points, and show empathy and respect. Active listening will help you understand their perspective, uncover their hidden motives, and find common ground.

3 Communicate clearly

A third skill for negotiation is clear communication. You need to express your ideas, concerns, and proposals in a way that is concise, persuasive, and respectful. You need to use positive and assertive language, avoid jargon and ambiguity, and provide evidence and examples. Clear communication will help you convey your value, address their concerns, and build trust.

4 Manage emotions

A fourth skill for negotiation is emotion management. You need to control your own emotions, such as anger, frustration, or anxiety, and avoid reacting impulsively or defensively. You also need to recognize and respond to your counterpart's emotions, such as fear, hostility, or disappointment, and avoid escalating or ignoring them. Emotion management will help you maintain your focus, credibility, and rapport.

5 Be flexible

A fifth skill for negotiation is flexibility. You need to be willing to adapt your strategy, tactics, and style to the changing situation and the different personality of your counterpart. You also need to be open to new ideas, suggestions, and solutions that can satisfy both parties' interests. Flexibility will help you overcome impasses, avoid deadlock, and create win-win outcomes.

6 Learn from feedback

A sixth skill for negotiation is feedback learning. You need to seek and receive feedback from your counterpart, your colleagues, your mentors, or your coaches on your performance, strengths, and weaknesses. You also need to give feedback to your counterpart on their behavior, expectations, and satisfaction. Feedback learning will help you improve your skills, relationships, and results.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?