You're struggling to give feedback to a defensive team member. How can you break through their barriers?
When a team member takes feedback personally, it's essential to communicate constructively. Here's how to approach the conversation:
- Start with positive observations to establish a supportive tone.
- Frame feedback as opportunities for growth rather than criticism.
- Listen actively and encourage dialogue to understand their perspective.
How do you provide feedback to someone who's quick to defend themselves? Share your strategies.
You're struggling to give feedback to a defensive team member. How can you break through their barriers?
When a team member takes feedback personally, it's essential to communicate constructively. Here's how to approach the conversation:
- Start with positive observations to establish a supportive tone.
- Frame feedback as opportunities for growth rather than criticism.
- Listen actively and encourage dialogue to understand their perspective.
How do you provide feedback to someone who's quick to defend themselves? Share your strategies.
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What I have seen work and what I coach others to do is start by genuinely inquiring into their perspective. Ask, "What are your thoughts on how the project went?" and genuinely listen. Then, acknowledge their view before offering observations. Focus on specific situations rather than character, and keep the conversation future-focused: "How could we approach this differently next time?" I have found that informal settings work best; a coffee chat feels less threatening than a formal meeting. Sharing similar challenges can help them feel less defensive. The key is creating an environment where they feel safe enough to consider feedback without needing to protect themselves.
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To effectively give feedback to a defensive team member, start by creating a safe and trusting environment. Use a calm and empathetic tone, and approach the conversation with a focus on collaboration rather than confrontation. Begin with positive observations to acknowledge their strengths, then gently frame the feedback as an opportunity for growth, clarifying that your intent is to support their development. Encourage a two-way dialogue by asking open-ended questions that invite them to share their perspective, ensuring they feel heard and valued. This approach helps break down barriers and fosters a more constructive conversation.
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Always start with positive feedback and turn the conversation by giving him change to tell his improvement areas and ask what is his/her expectation from you to help him out to overcome such challenges
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People get defensive due to fear of failure, unclear expectations, or past experiences. Instead of just focusing on how to phrase feedback, consider: * Identify triggers – Understand what’s causing their reaction. * Clarify expectations – Set clear goals from the start. * Ask reflective questions – Help them see feedback as growth, not criticism. * Build trust – Regular, open conversations ease defensiveness. Shifting from just giving feedback to creating a safe space makes a real difference.
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I’ve found that when a team member gets defensive, it helps to make feedback a dialogue rather than a verdict. I start by acknowledging what they do well and then frame suggestions as ways to make their job easier or more impactful. Sometimes, just asking, ‘How do you see this?’ opens them up to discussion. At the end of the day, it’s about trust—when they know feedback is for their growth, not criticism, the barriers come down.