You’re struggling to build relationships with your colleagues. Can Emotional Intelligence help?

To me self awareness starts with understanding my values. Understanding what makes me tick and what makes me mad. I was many years into working before this was something I understood and the impacts it made to my decisions. Before I could articulate them I knew that my values were family, family , family ( ok you got that one ) , integrity and fun. Once I got into EI and did evaluate and be able to articulate these I saw how they had shaped my decisions both personally and professionally. Personally in my choice of friends ( and those that stay friends) and professionally in roles I got offered and those I didn’t , as well as ones I accepted. It’s an awakening. Know your values. You can start know why you do what you do.

The better you know yourself, the easier it is to get where others are coming from. Everyone's awareness varies, and understanding yourself helps you handle emotions better. This means you won't take differences personally or unload your issues on colleagues. When conflicts pop up, use emotional smarts to deal with them calmly and kindly. Recognize your feelings, get that others see things differently, and tackle problems together. Emotional intelligence helps you talk well, listen to different views, and find solutions that work for everyone. Instead of making things worse, use your emotional intelligence to keep things chill, build connections, and keep things positive even when you don't agree.

An important stepping stone in building a relationship of mutual respect and trust is to be able to give honest, helpful feedback. Not easy. Often peers shy away from telling you that the presentation that you gave could have more impact , and give two /three tips on how. It requires a kind of transparency and caring attitude to pull it off without appearing snobbish.

Self-awareness is understanding that you are the pebble. Everywhere you go, you're creating ripples. Every piece of feedback, conversation, body gesture, etc. Sometimes they're good ripples, sometimes they're bad. We need to stay present to the impact that our ripples have on other people. I like to imagine invisible rings rippling out from people as they move through the world. What kind of energy and impact are those ripples having? What might be possible if we all committed to creating positive ripple effects?

Staying self-aware and true to my principles, I navigated conflicts by addressing them constructively, fostering positive relationships. Empathy and active listening were instrumental in connecting with colleagues and creating a supportive atmosphere. My adaptability played a crucial role in navigating diverse personalities and overcoming biases, fostering inclusivity. Integrating these skills, I not only survived but thrived—building genuine connections and contributing positively to my teams while staying authentic to myself.

I have found it helpful to focus my energy on something other than self-regulation in stressful situations. To stay calmer in challenging relationships, I continuously work with my unpleasant emotions. Our emotions are indicators of our values. Whenever we experience unpleasant emotions, it means one or more of our values have been violated. By working with my emotions to discover my deepest values, I feel less threatened and impulsive. As a result, I have developed the ability to create a safe space for others to discover their own values. I validate and connect with their values without compromising my own. This has helped me to maintain healthy relationships and facilitate healthy conflicts with others.

Self-regulation is one way of looking at the challenge of emotional triggers. However, this doesn't always address the root of why the triggers exist, and if you want long-term changes, you MUST work with the emotions in the present moment. Deep introspection is required if you are earnest, and that must be done at the level of feeling. THE WAY OUT IS THROUGH. It is embracing the feeling at its core without needing it to be any other way. This process allows you to see the feelings and emotions for what they truly are.

The intersection of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and self-regulation lies in harnessing emotional awareness and using it to regulate one's behavior. A person with high EI can navigate social situations effectively, build positive relationships, and handle challenges with resilience—all of which require effective self-regulation. By understanding and managing their emotions, individuals can respond to situations that align with their values and long-term goals. This, in turn, contributes to improved interpersonal relationships, better decision-making, and enhanced overall well-being. Together, they form a powerful combination that fosters personal and professional success.

Tara Meyer Robson said, “When awareness is brought to emotions, power is brought to life”. Self awareness is pivotal when it comes to managing emotions intelligently. If you do not know yourself how then can you manage other people. One of the most important and valuable traits of an emotional intelligent person is honing one’s situational skills. This entails how you can manage a situation to achieve positive results. How do you improve your self-awareness -Have an open mind to learn -Self-evaluate/self-introspection -Embrace change -Be flexible -Speak less, listen more - Learn to be happy with yourself - Be less judgmental -Be open to other people’s perspectives

A self-regulating tool to remember is the power of the pause. Often we break down relationships rather than build them up because we knee-jerk react to something that is said which we later regret. By learning to take a deep breath and pause for a moment, it buys us time to choose a response that is in line with our highest intentions for the relationship. To build this "pause" muscle, we can practice meditation or yoga, or use a tool that serves as a reminder for us. One of my clients simply put her hand over her mouth when her colleagues were speaking so she would remember to listen and then choose a response, rather than react or speak over them.

Being aware of others is showing them that you care. To build relations we need to be interested in people more than trying to be interesting. Social awareness is being present to listen, feel and discover others. It is the basis of building trust and connections. When we increase social awareness we can treat others in the way they like to be treated.

Social awareness fosters a deeper understanding of your colleagues’ emotions, needs, and perspectives. By being attentive, supportive, and respectful, you create a positive and inclusive atmosphere, strengthening your connections with those around you.

Social awareness starts with yourself. You can pretend you care, but if you haven't resolved the core feelings that disconnect you from others (and the beliefs that unpin them), no external 'acts' will truly make a difference. People will sense that you are not authentic and truly connected with them. I carried anger and sadness for many years, and it was these deep-seated feelings that hindered my social awareness. The more I let go, the more connected I became with others. However, this is DEEP work and takes courage, tenacity and strength.

For me i feel that developing social awareness is as important as developing self-awareness or emotional intelligence in order for one and people around to fully benefit from these qualities. Developing social awareness helps to determine how others feel ,and enables one to show empathy and compassion to others. It also helps someone understand and express gratitude to others. It also helps in recognizing strengths and diverse social norms among many others

Some ways to get started is to regulate our own emotions 1st, whether through pauses or reflections before communicating with the other party to resolve conflicts. It all starts with self awareness. Once our own emotions are in check and regulated, then we can calmly work on what we need to work on with other party in the relationship.

Social skills can be honed once you have built your self awareness and self management. These are the pillars which will help you change your point of view towards others. Once you realize what annoys you or what motivates you, you will understand through social awareness that all human are alike, in some way or another and realize that we are all connected. When enhancing your communication skills, time management skills, self-motivation skills and empathy, you will not only help yourself perform better, but this will also impact others in the team and help in building better relationships among team members.

Good Social Skills are critical for building a bond over a period of time. Many a times especially in today's fast paced world we end up engaging at a transaction level and become just a means. Our ability to build connect at a deeper level only comes with time when we continuously invest in relationships.

Social skills act as the next frontier once self-awareness and self-management are established. These pillars shape your perspective towards others. Identifying personal triggers and motivators fosters social awareness, revealing our shared humanity. Recognizing these commonalities establishes a sense of connection. Improving communication, time management, self-motivation, and empathy benefits not only personal performance but also influences team dynamics positively. This holistic enhancement contributes to building stronger relationships among team members. The interplay between self-awareness, self-management, and social skills forms a powerful foundation for personal and collective growth.

Imagine someone who tries to avoid speaking to people at event or party at any cost. The apprehension that one has on what to speak & more importantly how to impress in that speech leaves people opt out of speaking at all. It is important to note that the art of social skill won't evolve on its own & in this world full of people it is going to be really hard to go along without this skill. Hence the dire need of working on your social skills at the earliest. It can being with something as small as being present in a social forum & observing how the conversation is building up & gradually building up your thoughts on matter & speaking at the apt time. Small steps at time & slowly the fluidity in conversation will start coming naturally.

Social skills are vital for building meaningful connections and collaborating harmoniously in diverse social settings. And these skills can be learnt from others as you engage in social interactions. We are drawn to people who are great leader, effective communicators and they started somewhere too. A few things that I feel can help enhance social skills are 1. Effective Communication: Be clear and concise, use simple and clear language, and be mindful of your tone and body language. 2. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation: Show appreciation for others' contributions. Recognizing and acknowledging others' efforts fosters positive relationships. 3. Networking: Engage in activities or groups where you can meet new people and build connections.

Cultivating emotional intelligence allows individuals to approach interpersonal dynamics with a heightened sense of self-awareness and a more profound understanding of others' perspectives. By actively listening, expressing empathy, and regulating emotions effectively, individuals can bridge gaps and foster an inclusive and collaborative work culture.

I remember approaches such as expressing empathy, active listening & building rapport through shared interests or experiences to creates a positive connection help to build relationships with our colleagues.

By understanding and managing one’s own emotions, individuals can effectively navigate and adapt to different perspectives, cultural backgrounds, and communication styles. Emotional intelligence enables us to empathise with others, recognise and respect their emotions, and effectively communicate and also to resolve any potential conflicts - fostering trust, mutual understanding, and cooperation, leading to more productive and harmonious working relationships.

Emotional Intelligence is an essential set of abilities for connecting positively within ourselves, even when what we are feeling is difficult. With EQ we can be present with our difficult feelings instead of being captivated by those feelings. When we are present to a feeling, we can explore the needs that are at the source of the feeling and choose constructive actions - those that are relationship building instead of depleting - to connect with others and achieve better relationships and results. We need to be connected within ourselves to form healthy connections with others.

Emotional Intelligence is the ultimate tool to take charge of your reactions instead of being controlled by everything and everyone. Developing emotional intelligence allows you to step back from any situation and gain a wider perspective. It enables you to overcome the biggest obstacle in dealing with others -your own ego. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you learn to prioritize self-acceptance first. It empowers you to control your emotions, rather than reacting impulsively. It helps you bridge the gap between what happens to you and how you choose to respond. By nurturing your leadership qualities and improving your communication skills, you learn to appreciate others for their strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses.