You're struggling to add personal anecdotes to your speech. How can you make your message more authentic?

When sharing a story, be mindful of the balance between appropriateness and over-sanitization. I have listened to speakers who shared inappropriate experiences, either based on the topic at hand or the content of their story, and I have listed to speakers who shared stories that were so sterilized to avoid offense or issue that there was no detail and the anecdote contributed nothing to the presentation. The former risks the speaker's reputation in general, while the latter risks the audience's attention. Consider your audience, your topic, and your story. Choose a story that is on point, relatable to your audience, and interesting enough to keep their attention while you're telling it, but won't cause them to dwell on it as you move on.

Depending on the forum, timing can affect relevance. If you are the sole speaker, timing may be less of an issue. If the forum is a panel discussion, a meeting, or Q&A with back and forth, the conversation may move on before you get to your anecdote. Remember that conversations evolve, and returning to an anecdote that was relevant five minutes ago interrupts the natural flow of the presentation. It may feel like you are forcing it in which will cause it to feel less authentic.

Sharing a personal story is one of the best ways to connect with the audience. You have experiences you can share no matter what your topic is. For example, if you're talking about soldiers showing bravery in the face of danger, you don't need soldier experience to do this. Just talk about a time you've been brave! Perhaps you parachuted out of an airplane: share how you felt, the experience of the wind in your face, and the quiet of your jump once the noise of the plane fell away. Then you can say, "imagine how much harder that is when you're a soldier and people are shooting at you!" Relate your story to the subject at hand. In this way you'll capture the audience's attention and use the story as a launching pad into your topic.

The *most* important element about sharing personal anecdotes in your talks is that you must be legitimately genuine. That said, if you're talking about a topic you care about and you have experience in, the stories and experiences are going to be there - this isn't anything you have to fake. The day of a talk, I like to think about the presentation and make connections between the content and my recent personal experiences. That way the anecdotes don't come across as canned or rehearsed (because they're not), and they're also very timely and relevant.

If you're struggling to find personal anecdotes to connect to the message consider whether the message is even something you want to support. Is there a way for you to reframe some of the message so it's a little more relevant and true to your lived experience? If you're not able to change the message what are the personal anecdotes that are close enough? If you're close enough consider additional anecdotes which can help you bridge from the original anecdote to the overarching message. In other words, can you take two anecdotes to get where you need?