You're a manager who struggles to connect with your team. How can you improve your communication skills?

Active listening is crucial for fostering connections within teams. To ensure your team feels supported and understood, it's essential to demonstrate empathy and alignment with their needs and concerns. As a manager, gaining a deep understanding of your team's requirements and addressing their issues is key to building trust. When your team trusts in your leadership, establishing strong connections becomes seamless.

Ahh. Love this one. Come in with a UX lens. Beginning with "Understanding", aka "Notice" in Design Thinking. Follow the process for a good interview, those same style questions will guide your dialogue as you strive to "Empathize" with your staff.

The easiest way to create a two-way communication with a team member is for them to know, with an absolute certainty, that you fully understand their position. This can be done by playing the 'That's Right' game. The rules are: Each time a person stops talking, you do one of three things: - Repeat the last few words they said with an inquisitive tone - Give a 'third party' statement that describes what they're feeling. - Summarise their position. Keep doing those three things until they say "That's Right". Once they have nothing else to say; they will listen to you. This can be done with an entire team, but it is easier on a one to one basis. Just repeating this process until there's nothing left to be un-understood.

The points on the left are good, but I'd suggest a different key first step. That is, reflect on WHY you're struggling to communicate with the team. - Is it a difference in communication styles? - You might think X way is best, and your team might prefer Y way. Finding out the cause / the mismatch first, will then help you tailor and adapt, and THEN follow all the steps on the left. (Listen actively etc)

Getting coaching and training are important. They will provide you examples on how people have been improving their communication skills.

I like using tools to adapt style, and I also think the simplest place to start is with human connection. Share a story, share an emotion, ask a question about the other person. None of this needs to be work related. If it is going to be weird, the story works best… “Hey Reena, I feel like I am not close enough to you and the team. I want to build on our relationship so that we can help each other to identify opportunities to make this a more positive work environment. Would you be open to sitting with me for an hour each month to do share stories and hopes for the team?” Anna Carroll is one of my favorite coaches on feedback and team connection. Her COIN method is also great. Connect Observe Impact Next steps

This synergy is critical in a world where 60-80% of corporate challenges stem from misunderstandings and value clashes. By enhancing cultural intelligence, Global DISC? doesn't just predict behavior; it provides a comprehensive toolkit for leveraging diversity, turning potential liabilities into assets, and fostering an environment where every team member feels valued and understood. This is the innovation needed for today's global and diverse workforce.

Communication includes a lot more than speaking. Therefore, an emotional intelligence assessment is far more helpful as it comprises fifteen competencies that impact communication. These scales include assertiveness, active listening, self-awareness, impulse control, problem-solving, empathy, and relationship management.

Recognize that different situations and individuals may require different communication approaches. Ask, "How can I adapt my communication style to be more effective with each team member?"

You need a connection in order for communication to be effective. Try to find common ground or create opportunities for you to connect with your team. Once you have a connection, you've opened the two-way street of communication. Whatever you say or do, will be interpreted based on your team members' individual perceptions about you- therefor you have to influence that perception to achieve the desired result.

Encourage open and honest feedback. Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. Consider, "How can I make it easier for my team to provide me with honest feedback?" Schedule regular one-on-one and team meetings to stay connected with your team members. This can help in understanding their concerns, challenges, and progress. Consider, "Am I aware of the ongoing challenges my team members are dealing with?"

Appreciate the small things your colleagues do well. Tell them if they did well leading the meeting, if they did well preparing a contract, if they wrote a great email. Appreciate them privately and show it to other colleagues as well that you appreciate them.

By considering individual preferences and needs, you demonstrate genuine regard for their unique contributions, further strengthening the bonds of trust and loyalty within your team.To effectively express appreciation, sincerity, specificity, and timeliness are key. Whether through verbal praise, written notes, public recognition, or tangible rewards, the gesture should resonate authentically with each team member.

As a manager, you have to build a relationship with your team from day 1. The longer you go without genuinely caring about your team, the more it goes noticed. And then when you do start caring...it comes across as inauthentic. So, in order to build a good relationship you must start appreciating the little things your team does, and specifically acknowledge them individually. If you're in slack, great, send a quick personal voice note when you notice something. Or make it a habit to share 1 positive thing a day with at least someone. This can't be forced, because that will be felt and it needs to be genuine...but you can build this habit over time. They will respect, appreciate and value you as a leader more when you genuinely care.

Your role in helping others resolve conflict is a different one than resolve conflicts in which you are a party. Key to being successful in resolving conflict within your team is to understand your own conflict style and the styles of others. You are taking on the role of mediator; you are the safe third party. Even as a manager, you can fulfill this role for others: the facilitator of conversation between the parties in conflict. Resolving conflict in which you play a role, self knowledge makes you aware of your constructive and less constructive responses. Know your triggers and less helpful patterns you fall into when in conflict. When you know these pitfalls, you can work on changing behavior and be more constructive in conflict.

Don't forget to start with understanding why you are struggling to connect. Knowing this will help you to create an effective strategy for change. For example, it could be a time issue - being too busy with other things. In which case the solution is a scheduling one. Or it could be assigning a lack of value to small talk and finding out about the team as people. In this case, changing a mindset and behaviour will be important.

This is an extremely important topic, but does not start with tactics such as active listening or providing constructive feedback. These are important tools in the toolbox but not the core of what needs to be understood to improve communication skills. The foundation of communication is self-awareness, gaining an objective view of your core behavioral traits and then recognizing that others have different traits than you do. Once you realize these differences, it becomes more obvious and easier on what needs to be done with communication. To gain this self-awareness, use tools such as the Predictive Index, DISC, StrengthFinders or any of the other behavior assessment tools. This is really the start of your improved communication journey.

If you want to kill a relationship Stop communicating In the case of a manager, it would be harakiri or their career. The first step I suggest is: Get the context: Is communication a NEED or a WANT for the manager? No one in their right mind would like to kill the opportunity presented. Hence if the context misalignment is taken care of, communication barriers will become visible to the manager. The new action plan will come back from the manager being driven by the clarity of the new context. And new actions are bound to create new results.

To truly connect with your team, it's not just about tools, techniques, or tricks; it's about genuinely caring. When you approach communication with C.A.R.E.— C = Compassion, showing genuine concern and understanding. A = Authenticity, being real and true in every interaction. R= Respect, valuing each person's voice and perspective. E= Empathy, genuinely feeling with your team—you transcend basic communication. This depth of CARE transforms interactions, fostering a real connection that techniques alone can't achieve.

The main prerequisite for connecting with the team: Be really interested in them... If they are coming with unexpected results: be really interested in the fact, how they got to this result. What did they think of?.. That's bringing you the connection (instead of judging). And when you are clear about your own role, you will communicate clearly and with self-confidence - allowing you even more connection with your team.