You're facing adversarial counterparts in negotiations. How can you build trust and rapport with them?

I agree that building trust begins with establishing credibility. However, it's also crucial to cultivate empathy and understanding. Thoroughly prepare for the negotiation by understanding every facet of the deal and anticipating counterarguments. Go beyond mere preparation—engage deeply with the other party's perspective. Show respect for their position and expertise by actively listening and responding thoughtfully. Trust is built not only on competence but also on a willingness to find common ground and collaborative solutions. Shift from a transactional mindset to one of partnership to foster an environment of mutual respect and productive negotiations.

Be yourself and be honest as you are normally. The rest is the understanding of the people that want to understand. Be yourself and you will win

Trust and credibility are the optimum destination required to be attained by human beings. When we promote trust and valued as credible people, we do that because we respect ourselves, we respect people and we are commited towards ourselves to maintain the highest level of transparency and fairness. We do that for ourselves first but the yield is massive when our customers witness this in how we do business with them.

Get to know your interlocutors, understand how they operate, and act based on that understanding... and above all, put yourself in their shoes; you will always find a common ground.

Lincoln a dit un jour “Que l'on me donne six heures pour couper un arbre, j'en passerai quatre à affuter/aiguiser ma hache”. En d'autres termes, la préparation est FONDAMENTALE ! Préparer signifie : conna?tre ses dossiers, comprendre les motivations et les enjeux à partir des différentes perspectives, évaluer le rapport de forces et anticiper les réactions de l'interlocuteur.

L'empathie ne signifie pas l'adhésion ou le renoncement mais la prise en compte d'une opinion différente. Ce qui n'est pas la même chose. Dans toute négociation, tout l'art consiste à trouver des points de convergence et de minimiser les "nuisances" ou les effets négatifs. En résumé: écouter, comprendre et intégrer les arguments de son interlocuteur tout en gardant bien présent à l'esprit ses intérêts/attentes et ses objectifs.

One of my most challenging negotiations involved a counterpart who was determined to push for every advantage, leaving little room for compromise. It was clear from the outset that we had different goals and expectations. Instead of responding defensively, I took a step back and tried to understand their perspective. I asked open-ended questions to uncover their underlying concerns and interests. By genuinely listening, I found that they were under significant pressure from their stakeholders, which explained their aggressive stance. Acknowledging their situation and expressing empathy helped break the ice. It reminded me that, at the end of the day, we're all human, facing our own pressures and challenges.

People feel relified when they are heard out, while they feel satisfied when we react in thier favour based on what the said. Empathy is not a business tactic, it's a human feeling that enables us to gain landscape with other people. Empathy is a bridge of personal support that when takes place in the iright moment, can ginuienly stregthern the bond with the people we talk too. We need to be careful and avoid to use these moments to just drive benefits, otherwise we lose the moment and the trust of these people in no time.

One thing I find helpful is being open and honest. Do not play the games. Especially in situations when both parties know, there is a problem. You should name it and explain clearly your opinion and suggestions.

Je dirai qu'au delà du contenu, c'est bien souvent la meta-communication qui "travaille" pour nous lorsqu'on en ma?trise les ressorts. Un sourire, une attention, un trait d'esprit peuvent souvent mettre du "liant" ou un peu de chaleur avant une négociation qui peut s'avérer ardue.

Un respect de l'autre qui passe aussi par un langage chatié. Pas de grossièreté, d'argot,.. et on ne coupe pas la parole. Et en fonction de la personnalité du vendeur, un peu d'humour pour décrisper la négociation ..

In one particularly adversarial negotiation, it seemed like we were at an impasse, with neither side willing to budge. Instead of focusing on the points of disagreement, I shifted the conversation towards identifying mutual interests. What did both parties stand to gain from a successful agreement? We found that despite our differences, both sides valued a long-term partnership and wanted to avoid the costs of prolonged conflict. By highlighting these shared interests, we were able to reframe the negotiation as a problem-solving exercise rather than a battleground. This approach fostered a more cooperative atmosphere and helped us work towards a win-win solution.

Identifica tu Mejor Alternativa al Acuerdo Negociado (MAAN): - Haciendo una lista de absolutamente todas las posibilidades y variables en la negociación. -Valora estas posibilidades de manera individual, con sus ventajas y debilidades (PROS y CONS). -Elige la opción más rentable y ejecutable. Realiza este mismo proceso, ahora desde los zapatos de tu contraparte. Probablemente tengan intereses distintos en la negociación y por tanto, se encuentre un punto medio en la transacción. Este ejercicio sin duda agrega valor a la negociación.

Building trust is a long term activity. It will most likely not be achieved during a negotiation especially if you are facing adversial counterparts. During negotiations mostly people will be polarised and therefore breaking the set pattern through compassion or flexibility may convey differently. Your best move would be to communicate honestly, be as authentic as possible. Do not play micro strategies, be clear and try not to misrepresent even for the sake of gaining ground in the negotiation. If you remain authentic, even if the negotiations do not go in your favour, you would not have contributed to more complications and will not require to damage control, after.

Sometimes, negotiations can become too focused on the issues at hand, forgetting the human element. I've found that taking the time to build a personal connection can make a significant difference. During breaks or after formal meetings, I try to engage in casual conversations about non-business topics. Whether it's discussing a shared hobby or simply asking about their day, these small interactions help build rapport. In one case, a particularly tense negotiation softened when we discovered a mutual interest in classical music. It didn't resolve the issues overnight, but it created a more amicable environment and reminded us that we're more than just opposing sides in a deal.