By remembering that empathetic listening and speaking is a requirement of an open communication that provides that space needed for a patient in distress to begin on the road of recovery.

Empathy is about meeting patients where they are. I listen—truly listen—to what they’re saying and what they’re not. Some need space to vent, others need calm reassurance, and a few just need to feel seen. I adapt to the moment, whether it’s sitting quietly, cracking a joke, or holding eye contact a beat longer. It’s not a formula—it’s about being present and letting them know they matter. That connection is everything.

From my own experience as a patient often in distress, I needed more than empathy and respect. I needed help navigating myself. Chances are a distress patient's executive function is compromised. I would explain those mechanisms to them, and walk them through some calming techniques. Immediately accommodate any need to address pain and discomfort. Encouraging them to stay in their body. Allow them to vent, listen, validate, and repeat. Once they are stabilized, now we can begin to untangle the underlying issues for which they need advocacy. I also prefer to assist patients in advocating for themselves. Empowerment is good medicine in these situations.

When caring for distressed patients, it is essential to actively listen and acknowledge their feelings without judgment. Maintaining a calm and compassionate demeanor helps build trust and provides reassurance. Use clear and respectful communication, and involve patients in their care decisions to make them feel valued and understood. Always prioritize empathy, as small gestures of kindness can significantly enhance their experience.

The biggest mistake that providers make when listening to a patient in distress is being is reaction, versus response mode. It's hard to sit and hold space for a patient who's upset (maybe they didn't respond to your prescribed treatment as expected), but we must be careful not to internalize their emotional up-regulation. You want to notice if you're feeling ashamed, or badly that your patient is upset - but you are not responsible for their feelings. An empathic provider can hold space, witness and share compassion for their patient, and remain aware that they are separate and not responsible for their experience. It's also important to resist the urge to defend yourself, or offer solutions when a patient may just need to be heard.