Your team member is challenging your authority in front of clients. How will you regain control and respect?

You may feel like punching him/her in the face... even in mind only. So perhaps feel that initial thought, pause, then lean back and chill - be cool, calm, and collected... ninja-like. Good, now try out this'cool' technique I learned a couple decades back came from a NLP mentor of mine. The technique is called 'Smurfing', based on the small mythical blue creatures the Smurfs. Next time you feel your temperature starting to rise from a colleague that perhaps is 'playing dirty' - take a deep breath, and in mind 'Smurf Em'. Visualize them shrinking down, paint them blue, hear their now 'high pitched' voice, and allow that smile to slowly creep across your face... it is OK to laugh a little inside too.

Staying calm and professional is important. It's all about trying to avoid reacting defensively and maintaining your composure, as that sets the tone of the interaction.

In my experience colleagues doing this never intend for it to come across that way. Oftentimes they are really keen to make sure the client has the correct info, or they may be reacting subconsciously to feeling like they aren't valued in a discussion the same way you are as the recipient of impoliteness. My advice would always be to breathe, take a moment to calm down if needed, and then when you can find some time alone with them, simply ask why they did it. If you go in open-minded and looking to understand what is likely a miscommunication or misunderstanding, everyone should come out a winner. There's never a need for Conflict in the workplace, certainly never in front of external partners or clients.

Assess intent - what is the 'root cause'? Sometimes people are hurting, hurt people tend to hurt people. Sometimes people like this suffer from 'low-self esteem' and 'low-self worth', this doesn't excuse it, nor does it demand your pity. Sometimes they have other 'stresses' going on, COVID for example put a number of individuals into hyper FEAR mode and they acted in ways that I am sure many today, later regret. Getting to the 'root' will help you 'correct' the issue, but it does not excuse poor behaviour, and you need to address that head on.

Address it Privately... perhaps yes, perhaps no. A great book came out years ago called Verbal Judo. In the book, the ex-police officer identified a group of passive-aggressive types as 'wimps'. Often aggressive types, simply need to vent, be heard, and then communication can occur when the situation 'cools down'. But the passive-aggressive wimp type is more insidious. Better to confront them head on, assertively, in the public square... the more public the better!

You should respectfully reinforce your position by clarifying your roles and responsibilities. Also emphasize your experience and expertise, and even highlight collaboration. Make and communicate clear boundaries regarding decision-making.