Your client is reluctant to share personal information. How can you foster open communication with them?

La confianza es un proceso que se gana desde la primera interacción y se consolida con el tiempo. Nuestras lecturas patógrafas no dará claves de si nuestra interacción esta logrando el resultado esperado, de lo contrario debemos ajustar la técnica. Las relaciones humanas sin duda son complejas, es la razón de ser llamados individuos, esa individualidad es única. Buscar afinidades en conversación u/o actividad es clave para iniciar la construcción de un lazo de confianza.

We can start by sharing a little bit about them. Coaching and Therapy is same and building rapport by asking questions is very important and the process starts by talking about self and making them feel you are a companion not a counselor alone. Then comes the use of open-ended questions but at the same time, the client does not feel coerced into sharing too much too soon. One way to do this is to not refer, straight away, to their personal issues. For instance, instead of inquiring directly about their personal problems, one approach could be to inquire about how the person is feeling in a specific area of their life or about their thoughts on a certain abstract question.

Building trust by sharing what I understand so far about my client's struggles is important. To be of the best service to them, I express the importance of really wanting to fully grasp their challenges. I reassure them that it's not so much the story that needs to be told but rather the feeling that the experience has caused. If they want to share more, this would help me offer a new perspective that could help them tremendously. Discussing their experiences in more detail would help me ensure that I'm truly understanding their needs.

Solemos ser bastante reacios a hablar de determinados temas ante terceros, auque sean profesionales del coaching o de la salud. Si estáen la naturaleza de nuestro cliente ser poco comunicativo de su vida, solamente lo hará (si lo hace) en casos límities. Para no llegar a esto es fundamenta generar confianza, desde mi experiencia lo he logrado manteniendo genuina curiosidad, y manteniendo una total escucha activa, sin tener ni emitir juicios, comenzando por temas simples. Cuando logro esto, la confianza está generada, y mi cliente comienza a abrirse, sabiendo que será escuchado, no juzgado.

When your clients don't share much, allow for silence. Maybe they want a minute to think. There's no need to rush for the next question or feel like we need to talk all the time.

Don't force conversation. Gently nudge your conversation partner to tell more. Show genuine interest and try not to judge. Ask if you're interpreting what they are saying correctly.

Begin by establishing rapport through active listening and empathy, demonstrating genuine interest in their thoughts and concerns. Respect their boundaries and avoid pressuring them to divulge information prematurely. Create a safe space where confidentiality is assured, emphasizing the importance of trust in the coaching relationship. Encourage gradual disclosure by starting with less sensitive topics and gradually progressing as they become more comfortable. Use reflective questioning techniques to explore their feelings and perspectives without prying. This approach builds trust over time and encourages the client to open up at their own pace.

Otro punto fundamental es lograr una zona de confort. Esto no significa que tengamos "el siti perfecto para las sesiones", en mi caso, muchas se dan en el ámbito virtual. ?Cómo lo logro? Dejo a mi cliente que él encuentre "su" lugar de comodidad e intimidad, y desde allí ayudarlo a que fluya, siempre en el marco del contrato de coaching que hemos establecido en lo que hace a objetivos y metas.

They may have just arrived in an unaccustomed setting. Help them feel at home, introduce them to anyone who comes in, make sure they have coffee (or something) and know how they can get in and out, where basics are, etc.. Don't jump straight in to work, take your time to ask a couple of simple to answer, but specific personal questions ("How are you?" meant as a question, isn't always easiest to answer!! Did you pass anything interesting/pretty on your way here is easier).

We live in an extroverted world where we assume everybody should express their thoughts in speech on the fly. However, some of us are more introverted and more deliberate in our thoughts; hence, speaking on the go is actually hard. Of course, there are also others who may think in images and pictures. Allowing clients to communicate in a form best suited to them is a great way to allow them to share in a way that best meets their needs. Certainly, I have clients who write long emails to me after a session; while in session, they are mostly silent and seemingly unresponsive. But there's definitely lots going on in their head as we explored certain themes and challenges in their life!

When a client is reluctant to share personal information, it's important to respect their boundaries. Let them know that their comfort is a priority. Start by sharing the purpose and benefits of open communication in a gentle manner. Build trust slowly by discussing less personal topics first and creating a safe, non-judgmental space. Reassure them that everything shared is confidential. Encourage them to share at their own pace and acknowledge any small steps they take towards opening up. Your patience and understanding will help them feel more comfortable over time.

Es muy importante no forzar una sesión para tener un resultado, una de mis mejores formas de lograrlo es preguntar desde la primer reunión respecto de lo que cree son sus límites, y estando presente en cada reunión para identificar puntos de incomodidad, la presencia y la escucha activa permitirá concer el origen de esta incomodidad, si es por el problema o si estamos llegando a los límites de mi cliente. A partir de esto continúo en función de mis observaciones.

Absolutely respect boundaries. Isn't it wonderful that they can express them? Not everyone can. If you can't grasp an important boundary, ask about it with care, when the time comes eg. "I felt you would prefer not to talk about xyz, but I'm not sure why/where not to tread")

Reflect on this: Do I really need to know this piece of (personal) information? More often than not, as coaches we actually don't need it. For example, if we coach our client on an important decision between two jobs, we do NOT need to know what companies or position is he/she applying for. Differentiate between what is important for the coaching conversation vs. what you are "just" curious about.

Celebrate Success! Humans have survived through the years by being alert and responsive to potential dangers. Therefore, we are not so likely to all be happy and positive (unless you are like Joy in Inside Out). But in coaching, celebrating success and progress is important to keep our clients motivated and confident in taking the ever-small steps towards reaching their goal!

Encourage Gradual Sharing Small Steps: Encourage the client to share small pieces of information first, gradually building up to more personal topics. Progressive Disclosure: Use a technique called progressive disclosure, where you start with less sensitive topics and slowly move to more personal issues. Empower the Client Choice and Control: Give clients control over what they share and when, empowering them to feel more comfortable. Goal Setting: Collaborate with the client to set goals for your sessions, ensuring they feel a sense of ownership in the process.

Coaching is often about pushing someone out of their comfort zone. So when they aren't willing to share relevant details about themselves, it can be a red flag about the direction coaching might go. It's hard to create a plan for someone when you don't have all the details. Sharing information about yourself can help in some cases, but it may also be intimidating if they start comparing themselves to you. Read the room and see what you can do to get a productive dialogue going.

Check-in with yourself and your boundaries too. It happened to me once that a client shared NO information about himself (and all the information he shared just felt not adding up) and honestly, I did not feel this was a genuine prospect. I was not okay working with somebody with whom I have no trust and polity told him I will not work with him. As coaches, we need to honor our boundaries too.