You want to get ahead in your career. How can you be assertive without being aggressive?

1 Identify your rights and boundaries

One of the first steps to being assertive is to recognize your rights and boundaries as a professional and a person. You have the right to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs, to ask for what you want, to say no, to disagree, to ask for help, and to be treated with respect. You also have the responsibility to respect the rights and boundaries of others, to listen to their perspectives, to accept feedback, and to compromise when necessary. Knowing your rights and boundaries can help you stand up for yourself without violating or infringing on others.

2 Use assertive communication techniques

To be assertive, it is important to use effective communication techniques that convey your message clearly, politely, and confidently. For instance, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements can help express your feelings without blaming others. Additionally, providing facts and evidence instead of assumptions and accusations can help you make your point more effectively. Additionally, using positive and constructive language instead of negative and destructive language can help build relationships with others. Furthermore, having an active and confident voice instead of a passive and timid one is also key. Finally, non-verbal cues such as eye contact, posture, tone, and facial expressions should match your verbal message.

5 Seek feedback and improvement

A fifth step to being assertive is to seek feedback and improvement from others, as well as from yourself. Seeking feedback means asking for and listening to the opinions, suggestions, or criticisms of others, especially those who have more experience, knowledge, or skills than you. Seeking improvement means using the feedback to identify and address your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, or threats, and to set and pursue your goals. Seeking feedback and improvement can help you enhance your performance, skills, and confidence, as well as demonstrate your commitment, initiative, and professionalism.

6 Practice and learn

A sixth and final step to being assertive is to practice and learn from your experiences, challenges, and successes. Practicing means applying the tips and techniques mentioned above in different scenarios and contexts, such as meetings, presentations, projects, or conversations. Learning means reflecting on and evaluating your actions, outcomes, and feedback, and identifying what worked well, what didn't work well, and what you can do better next time. Practicing and learning can help you develop and refine your assertiveness skills, as well as cope with and overcome any difficulties or setbacks.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?