What's your feedback session strategy?

1 Know your purpose

Before you initiate or accept a feedback session, you need to know what you want to accomplish. Is it to praise, correct, coach, or motivate someone? Is it to get feedback on your own performance, skills, or behavior? Is it to resolve a conflict, improve a relationship, or align expectations? Knowing your purpose will help you set the right tone, choose the appropriate method, and focus on the most relevant topics.

2 Prepare your message

Once you have a clear purpose, you need to prepare your message. This means gathering evidence, examples, and data to support your feedback, as well as identifying the specific actions or outcomes you want to see. You also need to consider how to deliver your message in a way that is clear, concise, and constructive. Use the SBI model (Situation, Behavior, Impact) to structure your feedback, and avoid vague, judgmental, or emotional language.

3 Choose your timing and setting

The next step is to choose the best time and place for your feedback session. Ideally, you want to give or receive feedback as soon as possible after the event or behavior that triggered it, but not when emotions are high or distractions are low. You also want to find a private, comfortable, and neutral setting where you can have an uninterrupted and respectful conversation. If you can't meet in person, use video or phone calls instead of email or text.

4 Engage in dialogue

A feedback session is not a one-way lecture, but a two-way dialogue. You need to listen actively, empathize, and acknowledge the other person's perspective, feelings, and needs. You also need to invite questions, clarifications, and feedback on your feedback. Use open-ended questions, paraphrasing, and summarizing to check for understanding and agreement. And don't forget to express appreciation, recognition, and support for the other person's efforts and achievements.

5 Agree on action steps

The ultimate goal of a feedback session is to create positive change. Therefore, you need to agree on specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) action steps that will help you or the other person improve, grow, or resolve the issue. You also need to define how you will monitor progress, evaluate results, and provide ongoing feedback. Make sure you document and confirm the action steps and follow-up plan with the other person.

6 Reflect and learn

The last step is to reflect and learn from the feedback session. Ask yourself what went well, what didn't go well, and what you can do better next time. Seek feedback from others who were involved or observed the session, and use it to improve your feedback skills. Also, celebrate your successes, acknowledge your challenges, and reward yourself and the other person for taking action and making progress.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?