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Last updated on 2024年6月8日

What are the steps to mediate a conflict between family members?

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Conflicts between family members can be particularly challenging, as they often involve deep emotional ties and complex histories. When disputes arise, it's crucial to handle them with care to maintain relationships and find a resolution that everyone can accept. Mediation is a valuable skill in business management that can also be applied to family conflicts. It involves guiding a conversation between parties to reach an understanding. If you find yourself in the role of mediator, the following steps can help you navigate the delicate process of resolving family disputes.

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1 Understand Issues

Before diving into the mediation process, it's essential to understand the issues at hand thoroughly. Encourage each family member to express their perspective and feelings without interruption. This step is not about finding immediate solutions but about acknowledging each person's viewpoint and the factors contributing to the conflict. As a mediator, your role is to listen actively, ask clarifying questions, and restate what you've heard to ensure everyone feels heard and understood.

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Rupert Butler

Barrister | Company and Commercial Disputes | Insolvency | Sport and Media | Leverets Group
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One of the dynamics of a family dispute is people feeling that they are not being heard. So, it is essential to make sure in the planning of a mediation that enough time and neutral space is made for people to express everything that they wish other family members to hear. A skilful mediator will discuss with the participants how to filter out what needs to be heard by others, in order for every family member to have an effective voice, because not everything said will be for general consumption.

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Christopher Zampogna

Zampogna, P.C.
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In my experience in helps to tell each side in individual causus your opinion of their case. And, be sure to let them know the information they share with you is confidential and encourage that they disclose it all to you, the mediator.

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D. J. Seidel

Attorney - SEIDEL LAW
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As a mediator, I would ask each side to give me a brief in advance on the issues and supporting evidence for their position. Also, immediately establish if the dispute is about money or equity or both.

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Michael Swindley

Partner at Templeman LLP
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One thing I find to be quite helpful is setting pre-mediation meetings with counsel to explore the issues in a frank, but without prejudice, fashion. This allows all of us to bluntly discuss the pros and cons of the case without clients present which, in turn, can assist in setting reasonable expectations for the clients coming in to the mediation.

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2 Set Ground Rules

To facilitate a constructive dialogue, establishing ground rules is vital. These should include respecting speaking turns, refraining from personal attacks, and committing to an open-minded discussion. Ground rules help create a safe environment where family members can express themselves without fear of judgment or escalation. It's important that you, as the mediator, enforce these rules consistently throughout the mediation process.

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Sylvia Ho

Attorney @ Law Offices of Sylvia Ho, LLC | JD, Business Lawyer working hard to protect clients from legal pitfalls
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Family business conflicts bring historical family dynamics that can impede negotiations because of assumptions about roles such as parent majority owners favoring one child over another or such a perception. It’s important as a process to address feelings and perceptions as the elephant in the room so that the parties can put this aside to get to a settlement of the business dispute. A mediator should know the dynamics to be effective at helping present solutions.

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D. J. Seidel

Attorney - SEIDEL LAW
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Ground rules or expectations help. Is it a 1/2 day or full day mediation, does any one have a conflict and need to leave early. Get the parties to agree that they are at the mediation in good faith.

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3 Explore Solutions

With a clear understanding of the issues and ground rules in place, you can guide family members in exploring potential solutions. Encourage creative thinking and compromise, reminding them that the goal is a mutually acceptable outcome. This stage may involve brainstorming sessions where all ideas are considered, and the feasibility of each solution is discussed. It’s important to keep the conversation focused on the future rather than dwelling on past grievances.

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D. J. Seidel

Attorney - SEIDEL LAW
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In my experience, see if the parties can separate the facts from their emotions. With family members the issues may be emotionally charged.

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4 Negotiate Terms

Negotiation is a critical step where the parties involved work out the specifics of their agreement. Here, you'll help family members articulate their needs and preferences clearly and guide them toward a resolution that considers everyone's interests. This step often involves give-and-take, so encourage flexibility and remind family members of the bigger picture: preserving relationships and finding peace.

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D. J. Seidel

Attorney - SEIDEL LAW
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Negotiating the terms is where things get difficult. And I've seen MSA (mediated settlement agreements) fall apart because of poor drafting.

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Patrick Kearney

Senior Manager @ EY | Lawyer | Quality & Risk Management Lead
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No one wins in a negotiation. Always be prepared to concede not lose. Always see the bigger picture and the endgame. At the end just try and let it go.

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5 Implement Agreement

Once an agreement is reached, it's crucial to lay out how it will be implemented. This includes defining who will do what, by when, and what will happen if the agreement is not followed. This step ensures that the resolution is not just theoretical but has practical applications that will effectively address the conflict. As the mediator, you can help to document this agreement and establish follow-up procedures to monitor progress.

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6 Follow Up

Lastly, scheduling follow-up meetings can help ensure that the agreement is being honored and that the conflict does not re-emerge. These check-ins provide an opportunity for family members to discuss any difficulties in implementing the agreement and to make adjustments if necessary. Continuous follow-up helps maintain the momentum towards a lasting resolution and reinforces the commitment of all parties involved.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Edgar Gentle, III

Mediator, Court Appointed Neutral, Special Master and Settlement Administrator
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Look before you leap. Conflicts between family members by definition also involve you, so you can’t be totally neutral. Be prepared to fire yourself and suggest a true neutral if conditions merit it.

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What are the steps to mediate a conflict between family members?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Understand Issues

2 Set Ground Rules

3 Explore Solutions

4 Negotiate Terms

5 Implement Agreement

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Business Management

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What are the steps to mediate a conflict between family members?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Understand Issues

2 Set Ground Rules

3 Explore Solutions

4 Negotiate Terms

5 Implement Agreement

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Business Management

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