What are some ways to show empathy when resolving conflicts with peers?

Some people simply want to be heard and that is sometimes more valuable to them than the results they want to achieve or the fact that you may disagree (after hearing them and showing them that you have).

In my experience in conflict resolution, active listening for a complete understanding of what that person desires so you can identify and share points of agreement can go a long way to resolving your differences and diffusing challenging emotions.

Empathy can be expressed more effectively when accompanied by the sincerity of intention, appreciation of diversity, and magnanimity of heart to respect the difference of opinion. Ensuring that empathy is not mere words but is coupled with appropriate actions, exhibiting care and respect. Listening keenly, without judging and defending helps to untie thought-knots and improve communication. Being humble in extending empathy is critical. It is important to understand that empathy is not just an act committed outward to another person but essentially to oneself as it first rewards the empathetic person in various ways such as helping expand their perspectives, ennobling their actions, and alleviating distress for both parties.

Listening is a critical skill and very much an imperative during conflict resolution. If we listen to diverse views we also evolve as a manager and individual

Active listening is one of the skills that everyone should have to resolve conflicts. I listen to people's body language, tones, gestures and paces when I engage in critical discussions. Often, people's body language, gestures, tones etc are louder and heavier than what words uttered.

There is a critical piece missing here. We can identify that another person is experiencing an emotion, but we can't name it for them. So validating it might sound something more like, "It seems like you might be [frustrated, upset, etc.]; is that correct?" Or we could simply say something like, "I get that this is hard to hear..." and not try to label the emotion. The point is that it's important to check out our interpretation rather than imposing it on another person. Many times difficult emotions are masked by things that we might interpret as anger or frustration. And not accurately labeling emotions impedes the ability to effectively process and move through emotions - including being able to ask for what we need.

I’ve found that validation is a powerful and often simple action. The hardest part is having presence of mind to speak the validating statement. Further, and I think much stronger than making someone feel heard and understood, is if you make a personal connection to the subject as well. “I can tell you are uncomfortable with ___. I am uncomfortable with ___ too.” (If that is true)

There are few methods and extremely situational dependent: - Quickly stop and think before the situation escalates - This helps you to think and find the bone of contention - Once found it, the best is to stop it from being deteriorated and then work around to find the need for and reasons and communicate them in more of benevolent way.

Yep, as Rosie Ward has said below....showing empathy is not, in my view, trying to name people's emotions for them as....we may well get them wrong! Additionally, if we do so, we can add more burden on to them. 'You sound angry, you sound frightened, you sound....'can all be things that people think 'Oh my gosh do I? I don't like that ...now I've got to change how I 'show my feelings' ' another burden on top of what they are dealing with. How much easier to just say....' and how do you feel about [the thing(s)] you've been discussing? And then leave them to speak for themselves. When we impose OUR narrative of what's going on for someone on to them, we're not helping them. Listening means....listening..and asking open questions.

When tensions run high, take a breath and acknowledge how the other person feels. Simply saying "I understand this is frustrating" can defuse strong emotions. Reflect their sentiments back to show you're listening before politely sharing your own perspective. Seek compromise, not conquest. Remind yourself that good relationships require empathy, even in difficult moments. With patience and care, conflict can reveal new understanding. Though passions may flare, stay grounded in your shared humanity. Difficult conversations become easier when we lead with compassion.

People want to feel heard, loved and listened to when they are communicating with us. I always stay focused, maintaining eye contact when someone is worried about something. It's a sign of respect to show how curious we are during the conversation.

In my journey of mastering emotional intelligence, I've realized the power of expressing curiosity in building empathy. It's about asking open-ended questions that encourage others to open up and share their perspective. This approach is not about challenging or manipulating, but genuinely desiring to understand and learn from others. Through this, I demonstrate that I value their thoughts and contributions, fostering a collaborative environment. It's a subtle yet impactful way of showing empathy and creating a space where solutions and ideas can flourish together.

As a People Operations Manager, I've found that genuine curiosity about my team's experiences, needs, and perspectives makes conflict resolution so much easier. When I'm not challenging or judging but truly understanding and valuing their contributions, I'm fostering a collaborative environment where oftentimes, they come up with solutions I can simply build on.

Relating from a position of leadership, I like to start with meeting the person's basic needs. In one specific case I had a staff member that was always very abrupt with me. I saw them behave kindly toward peers and clients, and I was new in my position so I knew the issue wasn't personal. During a weekly check-in, I asked if they thought they had the supplies they needed for a few upcoming projects. They expressed interest in a few things, so I gave them a supply catalogue to select the items they'd need. After that meeting their behavior toward me was markedly improved. I learned the ordering process was cumbersome and they were in need of some items to perform tasks optimally but hadn't had success getting them. I was happy to help.

The key is to genuinely show interest in other people. Any insincerity, pretense, or manipulation is often detected, consciously or unconsciously. It is crucial for everyone to feel valued and recognized, knowing that their contribution to problem-solving holds significance. Making others feel appreciated and acknowledging their input is essential for building positive and meaningful connections.

fourth way to show empathy is to share your perspective in a respectful and constructive way. fourth way to show empathy is to share your perspective in a respectful and constructive way.

Sharing your perspective is expected. If you are asked to help resolve a dispute among peers, at some point you will be asked for your views on the matter. It is certainly valid to ask for a little time to think the matter over or even to consult with other colleagues to ensure the best possible outcome. And when making a judgment, it's important to demonstrate empathy for each party and to state the reasons why your particular decision was made. These reasons have to refer back to project/activity goals.

Indicating a meaningful open order policy is of course important but it is also passive. Seeking out the parties after a conflict has been resolved and trying to find out how things have changed is part of the curiousity discussed above. It also indicates engagement on your part.

Offer support as mediator in Conflict Resolution would let you become part of solutions. But the challenge remains how would one be in a position to be trusted by parties involved in the conflict. One's objectivity and fair opinion would help in getting trust amongst others.

A fifth way to show empathy is to offer support to the other person. Show a willingness to help find solutions or provide assistance, demonstrating a collaborative approach.

Offering support to one another is caring, being there for that person. The willingness to compliment another person by recongnition, achievements and strengths.

Asking "what can I do to help?" Or saying something along the lines of "let's brainstorm ways WE can resolve this issue" have worked well in keeping a situation from escalating. It shows support and reinforces that the person is not alone. As someone else mentioned earlier, letting a person vent or finish saying what they have to say, even if you don't agree, is showing respect. Don't interrupt. If you ask a question let them fully answer it. A simple nod or smile is a nice way to acknowledge that you are listening to them. Overall, most just want to be heard, respected, not alone, and they can compromise TOGETHER.

In a project debate with a colleague, we were stuck in a cycle of listening to respond, not to understand. I had to pause, apply emotional regulation, and focus on active listening by owning my feelings but also considering the perspective of others (now this wasn't easy lol). This shift helped us move from arguing to understanding each other's points. Acknowledging their perspective and finding common ground, we reached a satisfactory solution. This experience showed me how emotional regulation and active listening can turn conflict into constructive dialogue. We should always conduct an internal check first when dealing with conflict. Emotional intelligence is about understanding yourself before you seek to understand others.

A sixth way to show empathy is to practice self-empathy is to Understand and manage your own emotions during the conflict, promoting a more constructive dialogue.

One of the keys to effectively resolving a conflict is to move the conversation beyond feelings. Feelings are an important awareness tool, and we need to be able to accurately name what we're feeling. And, we can get stuck there. Usually, the strongest negative/unpleasant feelings we experience signal that a key need has not been met. Conflict is really a call to creativity so that 2 parties can both get their needs met (vs. a win-lose approach that usually happens). Usually we end up in conflict over strategies we become attached to that we think will meet our needs (and that there's only one way our need can be met). Changing the conversation to "here's what I'm needing; what are you needing?" is key to finding a win-win solution.

Here’s What Else to Consider: Non-Verbal Cues: Be aware of body language and facial expressions to enhance communication. Seek Common Ground: Identify shared interests to build a foundation for resolution. Stay Calm: Maintain composure, even in tense situations, to encourage a more relaxed atmosphere. Use "I" Statements: Frame concerns using "I" to avoid sounding accusatory and promote a collaborative atmosphere. Compromise: Be open to finding middle ground, fostering a solution that addresses both parties' needs. Remember, empathy and open communication are key to resolving conflicts positively.

Demonstrate empathy in conflict resolution by active listening, validating feelings, and understanding their perspective. Use "I" statements, avoid interruptions, and stay composed. Collaborate on solutions, apologize if needed, and express empathy verbally. Use non-verbal cues and focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Follow up afterward to reinforce your commitment to the relationship. These actions create a supportive environment for effective conflict resolution and relationship building.

After the conflict has been resolved or “mediated,” check in with them to see how they are doing and if any lingering issues need to be addressed. This shows that you care about their well-being and the relationship.

Ask questions, be attentive, check if you are on the same page. Think of the dog. What kind of dog is it? Is it big, or small? Or a hot dog, maybe? There are a lot of options of “dogs” and your opponent could think about another kind of “dog”. So it is ok to clarify, ask and confirm you understand your partner right