Negotiation is not only about exchanging offers and reaching agreements. It also involves managing emotions and relationships with your counterpart, which can affect the outcome and the satisfaction of both parties. In this article, you will learn some effective strategies to build rapport with your counterpart and handle emotional challenges in negotiation.
Before you start negotiating, you should try to understand what your counterpart wants and needs from the deal. This will help you to identify their motivations, goals, and priorities, as well as their potential concerns and fears. You can do this by asking open-ended questions, listening actively, and showing empathy. By understanding their interests and needs, you will be able to tailor your proposals and arguments to appeal to them and address their issues.
Try to articulate if you are a part but all of the solution. Not every need can be met by what you offer, so being honest where there’s an area you can’t help with strengthens a relationship as much as meeting the need. For example, a consultancy may have expertise in 5 areas, and your counterpart identifies 3 as needs, and 2 that the consultancy has no expertise in. By making sure the client understands what you can and cannot offer, you’re far more likely to build a relationship based on trust, instead of winging it and disappointing them later.
Understanding their desires and needs is critical. The more you can place yourself in their shoes — really imagine what it would look and feel like to be in their position — the better you can view all the facts and issues from their perspectives. This enables you to identify areas in which your interests align, and areas in which their strongest interests involve things you do not care so much about (and vice versa). This, in turn, will enable you to construct the most compelling offers and persuasive arguments.
Another way to build rapport with your counterpart is to find common ground and similarities between you and them. This can be related to the negotiation topic, such as shared values, objectives, or challenges, or to personal aspects, such as hobbies, backgrounds, or experiences. You can use small talk, compliments, or humor to establish a connection and show that you are not just an adversary, but a human being. By finding common ground and similarities, you will create a positive atmosphere and reduce the likelihood of conflict and mistrust.
Make them aware that you are not approaching your role as an individual but, as part of a team. That your expectation to fully support and be supported to ensure the company, team, group etc.. is successful and whole.
Negotiating internationally with people from other cultures taught me the importance of building relationships. In most other cultures, people dine and drink together the night before a big or important meeting or negotiation. Regardless how important may be the issues at hand, no one discusses or even mentions them at dinner — rather, talk is limited to personal matters like family, football (by which I mean soccer), holidays, etc. No matter how tense one might expect the meeting to be, it often has a much more productive tone after everyone spends the previous night eating, drinking, and laughing together. Apart from being more effective, this approach also is a higher quality way to spend one’s professional time.
There will always be common ground somewhere, and it is essential to find it. Finding a love for sport, country, a book, friends or contacts in common or frankly, anything is excellent and can not be underestimated in the breakdown of barriers. However, more often than not, you are not there to be friends but to get a deal done. Therefore it is essential to refrain from becoming too familiar.
During the negotiation, you should also express appreciation and respect for your counterpart and their perspective. This means acknowledging their contributions, recognizing their efforts, and validating their feelings. You can use verbal and non-verbal cues, such as nodding, smiling, or saying thank you, to show that you value them and their input. By expressing appreciation and respect, you will enhance your credibility and likability, and encourage cooperation and reciprocity.
Based on my experience, it is clear that taking your counterpart's opinion into consideration during a negotiation can play a crucial role in building trust and fostering a strong working relationship. In order to achieve your goals, it is essential to provide solutions that are mutually beneficial and demonstrate a willingness to collaborate. For example, when acknowledging the support of an investor during challenging times, I prioritized providing regular updates and reassurance regarding the situation at hand. By doing so, I was able to convey that their assistance was valued and not taken for granted, resulting in a higher level of trust and a strengthened relationship.
One of the most challenging aspects of negotiation is managing your own emotions and reactions, especially when you face resistance, criticism, or hostility from your counterpart. You should avoid letting your emotions get the best of you and impair your judgment, communication, or behavior. You can do this by preparing yourself mentally, taking deep breaths, or asking for a break if you feel overwhelmed. You should also avoid reacting defensively, aggressively, or sarcastically, and instead respond calmly, rationally, and respectfully.
Sometimes, your counterpart may also display strong emotions and reactions, such as anger, frustration, or disappointment, which can affect the negotiation process and outcome. You should not ignore or dismiss their emotions, but rather try to understand and address them. You can do this by empathizing, apologizing, or offering support, depending on the situation. You should also not take their emotions personally, but rather focus on the issues and the solutions.
Apologising will show a sign of compassion, but it could also be part of your counterpart's tactic in finding your weakness. It might be better to avoid apologising and instead ask exactly what was said or done that had angered or disappointed them. You can then rephrase the same without losing your negotiated position.
After the negotiation, you should not forget to follow up and maintain the relationship with your counterpart. This means confirming the agreement, delivering on your promises, and providing feedback. You should also express gratitude, appreciation, and satisfaction, and suggest ways to keep in touch or collaborate in the future. By following up and maintaining the relationship, you will ensure that the agreement is implemented effectively, and that you have a positive and lasting impression on your counterpart.