What are the most effective strategies for working with clients who have experienced grief and loss?

I am not a Social Worker, but I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, a National Certified Counselor & a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Every cause for grief is different and it’s personal. Validating where they are in their process while asking questions to help the individual process their thoughts and feelings which also allows them to hear themselves. At times they can then identify any irrational thoughts they may have. I ask the client to tell me about their loved one or have them share experiences that caused anger outbursts and eventually find patterns and help the client see where they may play a part. When they see it for themselves rather than me pointing it out. The client has that “Ah-ha” moment and growth happens.

As a pastor, a church member received the news that her father had died in a plane crash. Another pastor of the church immediately moved to comfort her by saying that he was now in a "better place." My response to her was to acknowledge that this was a horrible event and I expected that she was rather numb at that moment. She was then able to speak about how she was actually feeling. We have to let people express their own emotions without trying to tell them how they should feel. Listening carefully and reflecting back what they are saying is helpful in this process.

As a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, I believe giving them time and space to grieve is essential to let them recognize their emotions. Letting them how they feel about the loss will help them to connect with their inner feelings and be fully present. Grief is a lifelong process and the intensity of agonizing the pain of loss may diminish over time but never gone completely. Give them space and time to acknowledge and be there for them will help them through the stages.

Each one of us needs their own time and their own “share” of pain (although some will behave as if it does not hurt). That is why grieving is an individual and unique process, it takes different shapes and takes its own time (it is unfair to expect others to suffer the same way we would). Time is indeed a dimension that is compromised when the person is grieving, “it seems as if I have been feeling like this for years”, “I cannot even remember what I was like before this happened.” It is fundamental to respect those in mourning, allowing them to suffer the pain they need to suffer, at their own pace, without rushing it, always with the notion that when something or someone important is lost, we also loose a piece of ourselves.

We need to support the whole person, not just the grief. Be okay with humor, or light parts, or caring for something insignificant (compared to the grief). Remember they are them, not just their grief.

It is important to know whether the grief is anticipatory or complicated. Anticipatory grief may be experienced grief before the actual loss, but Complicated grief is when the feelings of loss are debilitating and do not improve after a long amount of time passes. Way to help: - find a support group - provide a regular check up - talk to them about challenges they face Sometime they need to know that the deceased person has not been forgotten and naturally talk about it. They may look back on important events that happened before and try to retrace or set the journey to remind themselves about the deceased ('napak tilas' in Indonesia). Validate their feelings and support them during this time to ensure what kind of help we could offer.

My opinion is that all these things need to be done slowly and gently, and at the pace of the client. They may be easily overwhelmed with too many questions. Also, practical things may need to addressed first, and they may need support to do that

I believe its important to understand the meaning of the loss, because that defines te meaning and type of grieving. By that, I mean we have to understand the subjective meaning of the loss

Remember to listen to them. Sometimes, people just need a shoulder to lean on, someone to listen to them. Be more ready to listen than to advice.

Grief and loss is a lifelong process and there's no 'one-size-fits-for-all' approach and no set amount of time to heal them perfectly. In complicated grief case, one can feel there's no way for them to recover from their loss as the pain is really consuming. The emotion they feel may even worse over time instead of fading away. That's why talking with friends / relatives may not be as effective as it seems. Allow them to feel everything and be there for them during the process will help them to face their issues.

The fundamental elements which I find crucial are the therapist's self being and practice of self attunement and self regulation. From my own experience and through supervising my supervisees, the provisional conclusion is that being able to practice and internalise these two elements have enhance the therapeutic alliance tremendously which support the clients in progressing their loss and grief.

I believe in taking a holistic assessment of the person's experience is important. Validation of their emotions and experiences is paramount, alongside providing a safe space for them to navigate their pain; addressing unresolved issues and acknowledging lingering regrets, we can guide them towards closure and reconnect them with cherished memories.

I'm not sure why I was asked to collaborate on this as I'm not a social worker. However, I have spent most of my life helping others. Things to avoid would be appearing disinterested in what the client is saying or feeling. Telling them you understand because no two people grieve in the same way. Dictating rather than suggesting ideas and or distraction techniques. Don't tell them things like you'll get over this in time or time is a great healer. Pay attention and ask questions about the person who has passed. Talking can help many people recover. If they raise their voice or cry let them because it's not about you. Finally, if you make an appointment keep it. You only see a tiny % of what they are living with. Just don't take it with you