Conflicts with co-founders are inevitable, but they can also be destructive if not handled well. As a startup founder, you need to have effective strategies for managing disagreements, resolving disputes, and maintaining a positive relationship with your partners. In this article, you will learn some practical tips for dealing with conflicts with co-founders, such as:
Communication is the key to any successful partnership, especially when there are differences of opinion, vision, or style. You should communicate openly and respectfully with your co-founders, expressing your views, listening to theirs, and acknowledging their perspectives. Avoid personal attacks, blame, or criticism, and focus on the facts, goals, and solutions. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements to avoid defensiveness and hostility. For example, say "I feel frustrated when you miss deadlines" instead of "You are always late and irresponsible".
Feedback is essential for learning, improving, and aligning your expectations and actions with your co-founders. You should seek feedback regularly and constructively, asking for specific, actionable, and positive suggestions. You should also be open to receiving feedback, accepting it as an opportunity to grow and not as a threat or a judgment. Moreover, you should be willing to compromise and negotiate with your co-founders, finding common ground and mutual benefits. You should not see conflict as a win-lose situation, but as a chance to create a win-win outcome.
Conflict can trigger strong emotions and stress, which can cloud your judgment, impair your communication, and damage your relationship. You should manage your emotions and stress effectively, using techniques such as breathing, meditation, or exercise to calm yourself down. You should also avoid reacting impulsively or aggressively, and instead, respond rationally and respectfully. You should also take care of your physical and mental health, getting enough sleep, eating well, and having some fun and relaxation.
Building a startup is more of a marathon than a sprint. Prioritise self-care, along with energy and stress management, to ensure that your emotions and stress aren't dictating your actions. Studies have shown that managing strong emotions becomes challenging when we are sleep-deprived or low on energy. A well-rested leader is not only calm and grounded but also an effective listener and communicator. While conflict itself isn't detrimental to progress, mishandling it is. To navigate conflict well, prioritise self-care and strive to understand and regulate your emotions.
Sometimes, conflicts with co-founders can escalate to a point where you cannot resolve them by yourselves. In such cases, you may need to involve a third party, such as a mentor, an advisor, a mediator, or a coach. A third party can help you by providing an objective perspective, facilitating a constructive dialogue, suggesting solutions, and holding you accountable. However, you should choose a third party carefully, making sure they are trustworthy, impartial, and experienced.
Finally, you should learn from the experience of conflict and move on. You should not dwell on the past, hold grudges, or seek revenge. Instead, you should focus on the present and the future, identifying the lessons learned, the actions taken, and the goals achieved. You should also celebrate the successes, appreciate the efforts, and acknowledge the contributions of your co-founders. You should also reinforce your trust, respect, and friendship with your co-founders, remembering why you started this journey together in the first place.
Conflict between co-founders is not only inevitable but it can also be an opportunity to strengthen your startup. Here are 5 strategies: Embrace Self-Awareness: Sarah and Mark, co-founders, would frequently clash. The breakthrough came when they became aware of their triggers and their ways of dealing/avoiding conflict. Active Listening: try to genuinely listen without the intent to reply. This gesture, though simple, can de-escalate tensions and unearth underlying issues. Use Mindfulness Techniques: When disagreements escalate, pause and center yourself. A client, David, would stroll to cool down, turning potential disputes into constructive talks. Set Ground Rules for handling disputes, like avoiding decisions when emotions peak.