What do you do if your networking approach in Coaching & Mentoring is too aggressive?

Before you start networking, while you assess intent, also assess what the person you are reaching out to can benefit from you. It truly is not a one-way street. Research and note how your relationship would be mutually beneficial to both parties involved.

First, ask yourself what you want to get out of networking. Aggressive is not the way to do it. Network if you genuinely love interacting with others and learning and sharing. If you network because you want your network to help you all the time, then it's wrong. You should learn to give and others may help you out too

Don't ask yourself what you want out of it. Ask first what you want to give! Think of networking as a bank account of trust and mutual benefit. You can make withdrawals - asking for something - only after there have been enough deposits. When you NEED something, it is too late to build your network. Nurture it, give value, provide support, have genuine conversations, care about the person... all long before you need or want anything in return. Your benefit will be proportional to the value you provide.

When reaching out, assess the frequency and nature of your outreach. Are you bombarding people with unsolicited requests or demands? Are you respecting their time and boundaries? Remember that effective networking is about quality, not quantity. Instead of casting a wide net and hoping for quick results, focus on cultivating a smaller circle of meaningful relationships. Invest time in getting to know people, understanding their needs, and finding ways to add value to their lives. Approach networking with a spirit of curiosity and a desire to learn from others. Show genuine interest in their experiences, challenges, and aspirations. By prioritizing active listening and empathy, you create a foundation for meaningful connections.

Begin where you are to build those relationships. Be sure that each interaction is about adding value to that individual instead of just taking from them. This is the major problem with networking and why it appears that you are aggressive. Most people want to build their numbers instead of creating genuine connections that last their entire careers. Be the one that is there to build others up instead of yourself

Reflecting is a big part of networking, don't hesitate to ask feedback from your network if you feel your strategy isn't working and you're not getting what you're looking for from your network. Think about the audience in your network, what value you bring to them, where you meet them and how other may perceive you as well. You may want to ask someone more experienced or a mentor in your industry how to best network with peers or participate in industry events to raise your profile or increase your knowledge. Sharing resources might also be a helpful way forward, by becoming a focal point for your network through providing value, people will be more receptive to connecting with you.

Networking is a fine line between giving and taking. One should approach networking with a non-transactional mindset. Be ready to listen, inquire and be curious about other people, see if you have the opportunity to support someone and don't provide help with the aim of getting something in return. Networking is like any other interactions and it might make people uneasy if they feel you expect a lot from them. Think about how you can add value non only through support but by providing connections for others for example. Take time to understand what matters to your audience and what they value; don't rush and be receptive to what others have to offer, now or in the future.

Some people will say that it is a relationship business when in reality, they are seeking charity or a simple transaction. If you want deep, meaningful relationships, you seek to serve as much or more than you receive. If you want to be mentored by someone, find ways to serve them. Be creative, buy their book and give it a review, give their company a review, ask them what you can do to help. Dont spend your life being someone that takes. Give more.

Certain individuals may claim that business is all about relationships, yet their actions reveal they are merely seeking handouts or straightforward transactions. If your aim is to foster profound and meaningful connections, prioritize serving others as much as, if not more than, receiving. When seeking mentorship, for instance, explore avenues to contribute to their endeavors. Think innovatively—perhaps purchasing and reviewing their book, providing feedback for their company, or simply asking how you can assist. Avoid the trap of perpetual taking; strive to give generously throughout your life.

If your networking approach in coaching and mentoring is too aggressive, you need to change or tweak the approach. The mission with networking in coaching & mentoring is to add value, help & transform the person better than they met you, be firm with the mission but be flexible with your method-which is your approach. Not everyone responds well when you are too aggressive, so understanding people's needs, peculiarities & personality should guide you in toning down the aggressiveness and having a more gentle approach.

Seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, or networking contacts to gain insights into how your approach is perceived and identify areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it to refine your networking strategy, ensuring it is both effective and respectful. By adopting a more balanced and considerate approach, you can build stronger, more meaningful connections in your coaching and mentoring network.