What do you do if your feedback is causing more harm than good?

Reflect and Pause is extremely powerful. Reflect on Consequences of your action as well. Reflect on the Impact that you wish to create around you. Reflect before you move forward.

Feedback is a vital element of our personal and professional development. But in order for input to have tangible benefits, it must be supportive. The fact is there’s a huge difference between feedback and criticism. Feedback is helpful and constructive; criticism is hurtful and damaging.

If you notice that your feedback is causing more harm than good, it's important to take a step back and reconsider your approach. Start by examining how you deliver feedback—are you being too critical or not offering enough guidance for improvement? Adjust your communication style to be more supportive and constructive. Instead of focusing solely on what went wrong, highlight areas of strength and offer specific suggestions for growth. Also, make sure to listen actively to how your feedback is being received and be open to discussions about how to improve the feedback process. Remember, the goal of feedback is to help others learn and grow, so it's essential to tailor your approach to ensure it's having a positive impact.

Adjust your communication style Listen actively Listen to understand so you can reply effectively Be supportive and constructive in your engagement

If your feedback is causing more harm than good, it's crucial to reassess your approach. Reflect on your style, seek input from recipients, and ensure feedback is specific, actionable, and balanced. Focus on growth, deliver feedback privately, and listen empathetically. Offer support and guidance, monitor the impact, and be willing to adjust. Seek assistance if needed to develop your feedback skills effectively.

? Encourage meaningful communication. Make feedback a two-way conversation rather than a lecture. Furthermore, the reviewer and recipient must communicate with each other rather than just taking turns talking. And — please give the recipient ample time to respond. ? Be conscious of what goes unsaid. Read between the lines. A recipient who is silent could still be sending you a loud message. ? Confirm understanding. Make sure you and the recipient are on the same page before ending the conversation.

Understanding the impact of your feedback on others is crucial. It's beneficial to have conversations with the recipients of your feedback to learn about their feelings, what they found useful, and what could be enhanced. This approach demonstrates your respect for their opinions and helps you refine your feedback methods to be more effective. For example, if an employee feels that the feedback was too vague, you can aim to provide more specific and actionable advice in future sessions.

Put yourself into the shoes of the other side. Your perspective is just a perspective - try to avoid right/wrong frames. Ask the other side what they took from your feedback. Dialogue is not just speaking and listening, it’s an act and practice of learning and thinking together. If you feel your feedback causes harm, try to understand why the others side perceives it this way. Reframe with empathy and intellectual humility, assuming both parties are partly right. Enter into deep listening and ask questions to understand the others perspectives.

? Build people up rather than tearing them down. Compliment people in public; present their shortcomings in private. ? Focus on the act. Base your input on the recipient’s actions rather than on demeaning the person. ? Be constructive. Make your input actionable rather than general. ? Be honest and direct. Tell it like it is. This will ensure that nothing is left to the imagination. Furthermore, if your feedback is always glowing, compliments will be less credible. ? Praise, the right way. A compliment is great — when it offers specifics about what the person is doing right or areas where they’ve improved. ? Present the facts. Feedback should always come from firsthand experience rather than via a third party.

Feedback styles should be adapted to suit the individual preferences of team members. For instance, while some employees might prefer straightforward and brief critiques, others might benefit from detailed explanations accompanied by encouragement. By customizing your approach, you show a commitment to each team member's personal growth, which can enhance the impact of your feedback. For example, if you know a team member responds well to positive reinforcement, you might start with what they did well before suggesting improvements, as opposed to another who prefers getting straight to the point without much sugar-coating.

Continuous feedback shows dedication to improvement, both requested and offered. Open lines of communication also builds trust, a key foundational component to any success relationship. With trust established, the level of communication reaches a point where conducting the 'hard' conversations about improvement do not risk becoming volatile. Do this on a regularly scheduled basis (weekly/monthly/quarterly) to ease tension and quell fear. Surprise or short notice reviews escalate fear, lower productivity, and cause unnecessary issues within the organizational structure.

? Give guidance that is factual — based on hard evidence — rather than emotional; is even-handed — examines both sides of an issue; is balanced — sees the positive and the negative; and is open-minded —free from personal bias. ? Make the feedback timely. Offer input soon after an activity rather than weeks or months later. This will ensure that the feedback is relevant and helpful. ? Give feedback in person. Input doesn’t have to be formal, but it should be made a priority. For that reason, it’s important to give input face-to-face, or via video, if necessary, rather than by e-mail or text. This will enhance communication by providing a more personal and immediate two-way dialog and will enable each party to gauge the other’s body language.