What do you do if your feedback is causing more harm than good?

Vivimos en un entorno en el que se valora tanto el tiempo que parece que pausar para reflexionar es perderlo. El autoconocimiento permite no centrarnos en nuestro yo como universo y aumentar la percepción de lo que decimos y cómo lo decimos. ?Conoces las 9 presuposiciones del coaching educativo? Utiliza las presuposiciones como autoayuda al análisis y conciencia de ti mismo y del efecto en las "realidades" propias y ajenas. Por ejemplo, algunas de ellas son: "el mapa no es el territorio"; "no es lo mismo conducta que identidad"; "solo podemos operar en nuestro círculo de influencia"; "formamos parte de varios sistemas"; "estamos dotados de lenguaje, cuerpo y emoción", etc. ?Profundicemos en autoconciencia para crecer emocionalmente!

If your feedback is causing more harm than good, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on the situation. Consider the impact of your words and actions, and try to understand why they might be causing harm. It’s possible that your intentions are good, but the delivery or timing of your feedback is off.

Here are a few things you can do... 1. Ask for permission to continue if you find that your feedback is causing the recipient stress. 2. Ensure that the recipient knows that the feedback is a dialogue, not a one-way street. 3. Come back to the intention of giving feedback - ie growth and learning - and voice that intention, again 4. Share a personal example - of how you found feedback to be hard and yet a valuable part of your growth process. 5. Ground your feedback with real-life examples. 6. And realise that both giving and receiving feedback are skills, which are equally important for learning and growth. Even if you are good at giving feedback, the recipient may need to learn how to receive it.

Right off the bat, how you "show up" in any interaction could affect the person you are communicating with. For those familiar with the DISC profile as an example, the "Dominant" personalities may be too aggressive and the "Steady" personalities may not be as assertive as it needs to be when giving feedback. Either way, you may not be sending the message in the way that it is intended. Negative feedback, for example, other than pointing out what they did wrong, should send the message to the employee that you are on their side. Also, positive feedback should not sound like the generic "good job" every minute. Intent must be genuine.

Once you’ve reflected on the situation, consider adjusting your approach. This could mean changing the way you deliver feedback, the timing of it, or even the content of the feedback itself. Remember, effective feedback is meant to help, not harm.

Adjusting your feedback approach is crucial to foster a positive and productive environment. It's important to maintain a balance between honesty and empathy. Consider the timing and setting when delivering feedback, ensuring it's done in a private and supportive context. Additionally, encourage a two-way dialogue, allowing the recipient to express their views and concerns. This not only helps clarify misunderstandings but also empowers them to take ownership of their growth. Ultimately, effective feedback should inspire confidence and drive improvement.

When feedback isn't landing well, it can create tension and reduce team cohesion. To foster open dialogue, start by encouraging people to focus on intentions over actions. Think about aim you wish to achieve with and whether it's coming across constructively. Use "I" statements to personalize the message without sounding accusatory. For example, "I noticed that the report was late, and I’m concerned about meeting our deadlines," instead of "You always submit reports late." Feedback should be about improvement, not criticism. Listen actively and create a two-way dialogue, allowing the other person to express their perspective and suggest solutions.

Encourage open and honest communication. Make it clear that you’re open to hearing their thoughts and feelings about the feedback you’ve given. This can help to clear up any misunderstandings and ensure that your feedback is taken in the spirit it was intended.

The first step is take cognisance of the situation. **Is the context safe enough to give and receive feedback? This is determined by all players mutually respecting and trusting each other to have done and to be doing their best **Is the feedback constructed and presented in a palatable and beneficial manner ? Oftentimes feedback as a reaction comes out as blame, micro management etc. Responsible feedback is factual, event based & enable the recipient with clarity and support to achieve pragmatic expectations **Is the recipient open to the feedback? Most often we are emotionally invested and feedback is met with resistance and seen as a threat. Ensure recipients feel heard and understood . Work in consensus towards collective good

While constructive criticism is important, it’s also crucial to highlight the positives. Balancing positive reinforcement with constructive feedback can make the feedback process more effective and less harmful.

Sometimes, people may misinterpret your feedback. In such cases, it’s important to clarify your intentions. Let them know that your goal is to help them improve, not to criticize or belittle them.

Change takes time, and it’s important to be patient with the person you’re giving feedback to. They may need time to process the feedback and figure out how to implement it.

Always consider the person’s feelings and perspective when giving feedback. Be empathetic and understanding, and remember that everyone makes mistakes and has room for improvement. Also, be open to receiving feedback yourself. This can help you improve your own feedback-giving skills.

Feedback is mainly a one-way approach. Whereas, conversations are two-way. So if my feedback is doing more harm than good, I'd stop feedback-ing. And I'd begin conversing by keeping myself and the person I was giving feedback to on the same level of conversation. Aka I'd make sure to not put myself or my feedback on any pedestal while having a two-way conversation.

1. Seek Feedback Yourself: Solicit feedback from the individual and others involved to gain insights into how your feedback is being perceived and its impact. Use this feedback to refine your approach and make adjustments as needed. 2. Consider External Resources: If the situation warrants it, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a mentor, coach, or HR professional, to facilitate the feedback process and provide additional support. 3. Evaluate Cultural and Contextual Factors: Take into account cultural differences, organizational dynamics, and individual circumstances that may influence how feedback is received and interpreted.