What do you do if your emotional intelligence is lacking in the face of challenges?

Self-awareness is important for emotional intelligence. We need to start by identifying our emotions and understanding how they influence our thoughts and actions. Need to practice resilience by cultivating a positive outlook and learning to bounce back from setbacks/ failures; use setbacks as opportunities for growth. The focus needs to be on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Apart from this, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, continuous learning, and seeking feedback and support help to identify areas for improvement and make necessary adjustments. Improving emotional intelligence is a gradual process that requires consistent effort and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way!

Take time to reflect on your emotional responses to various situations and identify areas where improvement is needed. Seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors and actively work on developing strategies to enhance your emotional intelligence.

Expecting to build emotional intelligence by yourself is like trying to start competing in body building shows without a trainer or a gym. Our investment in learning EI is far more efficient with guidance, structure, community and feedback. Gain all of the above by securing an executive coach or a mentorship with a high emotional intelligence leader while requesting feedback from our colleagues and joining others in the EI learning journey! We generally learn IQ skills earlier in our careers where EQ skills require a different focus. We are moving from an individual sport to a team sport where the rules are different and require us to learn how to refine our interactions with others. It should be no surprise that we can't do this alone.

I suggest a simple protocol. Notice when you are triggered. A triggered state throughs you off balance and it takes time to come back to present moment awareness. When you are in a triggered state, you loose access to your wisdom and intuition.

To enhance emotional intelligence, actively seek and embrace feedback from those around you. Ask for honest input on your emotional responses and interactions, particularly in challenging situations. Consider the feedback carefully, especially when it highlights areas needing improvement. Use this information to reflect on your behavior and to develop strategies for managing your emotions more effectively. Welcoming constructive criticism with an open mind is a crucial step towards personal growth and improved emotional intelligence.

If other people trigger you, you know that you have unresolved issues that need attending. To be emotionally mature requires one to be present even in the face of someone else's turmoil & outbreaks.

Mindfulness is the ability to remain in present moment awareness, to stay balanced even in stressful situations. If external circumstances trigger a limiting belief pattern and you respond from that, it is a sure sign that the pattern is showing up because you are ready to release it. Common limiting beliefs patterns are: Fear of Failure Fear of the Future I'm not Good Enough

The primary emotional focus we build in developing emotional intelligence is empathy. Allowing ourselves to feel the emotions of the other person (empathy), allows us to adapt our behaviors (and emotions) to address the other person's needs in the situation, (intelligently) based on the situation. Thereby: EI is achieved. This combines our understanding of how the other person feels with our understanding of the appropriate actions we need to take. We are seeking to bridge the emotionally appropriate behaviors that will accommodate the person's needs together with with the actions needed from our leadership and lived experiences. Our use of true empathy and knowledge offers authentic support in context with the right things to do.

Practice putting yourself in others' shoes to understand their perspectives and emotions better. Actively listen to their concerns and experiences, fostering a deeper connection and empathy in your interactions.

The first class ticket to Empathy is to respond by acknowledging verbally the emotions you see the other person is expressing. For example: "I can hear you are very frustrated right now" The other person will immediately feel validated: once they feel validated, they will be able to release.

In my opinion stress is a group name and therefore it cannot be dealt with effectively. The key is cultivate an awareness for the underlying pattern that is causing the stress. Is it guilt? It is bitterness? Is it frustration or disappointment? Maybe it is a belief, for instance: "Things will never change!" "I will never make it" "Everything is out to get me" Once you can bring greater awareness to the underlining pattern playing out, you can make the internal adjustments.

When addressing deficits in emotional intelligence, it’s beneficial to observe and learn from emotionally adept individuals. Notice how they listen, empathize, and respond in various situations. Reflect on challenges you've faced and how differing approaches might have altered the outcomes. Consider maintaining a journal to track and reflect on emotional experiences and reactions. Finally, don't overlook the value of mindfulness practices and stress management techniques; they can improve self-awareness and self-regulation, critical components of emotional intelligence.