What do you do if your colleagues and clients are not responding positively to your emotional intelligence?

1 Assess Yourself

Before jumping to conclusions about others' reactions, take a moment to self-reflect. Could your approach be misinterpreted? Sometimes, what is intended as empathy can come across as patronizing, or assertiveness might be perceived as aggression. Consider whether your emotional expressions are appropriate for the context and if your listening skills are as sharp as they could be. Self-awareness is a cornerstone of EI, so ensure that you're not contributing to the disconnect by reassessing your communication style and making adjustments as necessary.

2 Seek Feedback

If after self-assessment you believe your emotional intelligence is not the issue, seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors. They can provide an outside perspective on how your EI is perceived by others. Ask specific questions to understand where there might be gaps or misunderstandings. This feedback can be invaluable in helping you pinpoint areas for improvement and can also alert you to any office dynamics you might not be aware of that could affect how your actions are received.

4 Build Relationships

Fostering stronger relationships can often improve the reception of your emotional intelligence. Take time to learn more about your colleagues and clients on a personal level. Understand their communication preferences, work styles, and personal interests. This rapport-building does not happen overnight, but by consistently showing genuine interest and respect, you'll likely find a more receptive audience for your EI-driven communications.

5 Provide Training

Sometimes, the issue may not lie with you but with a general lack of understanding or appreciation for EI in your workplace. In such cases, consider advocating for or organizing training sessions that focus on the importance of emotional intelligence in business communications. This can help create a culture that values and understands EI, leading to a more positive response when you or anyone else exhibits these skills.

6 Stay Persistent

Lastly, don't lose heart if change doesn't happen immediately. Cultivating a positive response to emotional intelligence often requires patience and persistence. Continue to practice and demonstrate EI, even when it seems like it's not making an impact. Over time, as people see the benefits of emotionally intelligent interactions, you may start to notice a shift in their responses. Stay committed to your personal development and remember that consistency is key in changing perceptions.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?