What do you do if your coaching clients lack confidence?

Confidence is always the inner calling. Confidence is related to many factors like nature, behaviour, upbringing, the environment, any past history and many more... So first and foremost it is important to identify the root cause of lack of confidence. It may happen that just as the Iceberg model states, Lack of confidence can be the superficial layer, the main cause may remain unidentified. So work on the root cause and eradicate the issue right from the scratch.

A good start is understanding the brain science of stress and practices that strengthen the ability to keep moving in moments of vulnerability. A few questions that will help include: 1. What possible future regrets might you be avoiding? 2. How did you successfully handle stressful situations in the past? 3. What small steps can you take to proceed as if success is inevitable? Even a miss will be a successful "First Attempt In Learning." 4. Who can you connect and collaborate with to ensure success? 5. Get going. You will feel better when you take a positive step.

??Nonviolent communication has been one of the best methods I’ve used to move down the iceberg fast and help each client recognize his or her deepest needs in specific situations. ?When they have a better understanding of what they value, they can become more conscious of the strategies they’re using to satisfy those needs. In other words they can become more aware of what’s moving them forward or holding them back. ?? When a client brings their values and needs into consciousness and works on satisfying them with more awareness, they have a higher chance to work on their situations appropriately, developing their personal leadership and confidence along the way.

I must know the story of client. The key turning points in life. I get a lot of input to learn about their 'Why's' and then I can use my experience to pin-point on the root-cause. Not the point is whether I need to make coachee aware of that or keep it with me and work on eliminating those limiting beliefs. That would be a decision I choose to take intuitively by understanding if the client will be able to face or accept... I am more of an intuitive coach who keeps the approach flexible..

You can't be confident if you're pretending to be someone you're not. First check - are you living a life that's true to YOU, not to what your parents or society expect? Everyone is best at something, and that's what you should reveal and be proud of! Lack of confidence often comes with confusion - confusion about what you want, but especially about who you are. If a client of mine lacks confidence (which is the case 99% of the time), we dive deep into the root of the problem with powerful questioning. For instance I’d ask “What do you really fear when you're afraid of being judged by others?” Movement - sessions in nature, dance etc. are also powerful tools to cross the fear barrier and stand tall and proud as yourself.

If your coaching clients lack confidence, one practical step you can take is to challenge their negative thoughts. Help them examine and replace these thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. Encourage them to identify evidence for their negative thoughts and find alternative ways of thinking that align with their capabilities and achievements. This approach can help them build self-confidence and resilience over time. Additionally, remind them that negative thoughts may not always reflect reality. Suggest seeking out a mentor who can provide guidance and support in navigating these challenges.

Assist clients in recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Encourage them to reframe negative thoughts into more positive and empowering statements. Foster a positive and growth-oriented mindset.

I use NLP approach to coaching and therefore I am able to get the clients understand how whatever they think is serving some purpose. It is all contextual. Nothing is useless. No positives, no negatives. Things just are and we need to get to understand how they impact us and then work on reframing them. It's such a fascinating way to make changes.. RS

It's possible that customers will overgeneralize or catastrophize. Assist them in reframing these views by providing data and advocating for a more measured perspective.

Addressing negative thoughts is a pivotal aspect of fostering a growth mindset. These thoughts, often rooted in past experiences, can significantly limit one's potential. Techniques like imagining your speaking to a friend or distanced self-talk help challenge these unhelpful patterns. It allows clients to take a broader lens to their negative inner voice and reframe their thoughts in a more positive light and shifting their perspective. This process not only helps in overcoming immediate hurdles but also gives them the tools for lifelong resilience. Moreover, incorporating affirmations can reinforce this new, positive mindset, making it a habit and laying the groundwork for a more empowered and self-assured approach to life's challenges.

SMART but they still need to help people step outside of their comfort zone. With a person who lacks confidence, find the area where they are confident and ask them how they approach that. Take note of their visual descriptions, feelings and what they say to themselves, then reflect that on to the topic they feel less confident in.

Establishing goals that are both specific and reachable helps to cultivate a sense of accomplishment and promotes confidence. Consider the following scenario: a client who is not confident in public speaking could establish a goal to deliver a brief presentation to a small group of supportive individuals within the next month.

SMART goals are great, but they're not the end-all, be-all of goal-setting. Sometimes people know they want to be more confident, but attaching a SMART goal to that objective can create an unnecessary obstacle. Rather, I typically have clients look at their history for evidence of achievement and success, and to remember what it felt like when they felt confident. Additionally, it's important to remember that confidence often comes with experience. If someone is taking on a lot of new challenges and the challenges are unfamiliar, then there's a certain logic in not feeling confident in those challenges - yet. The confidence will come with time. There's a value in patience, but you can build in some fast wins to build confidence as well.

SMART goals are a key component of personal growth however, it's equally important to highlight that the journey toward these goals is often as significant as the goals themselves. For instance, if someone aims to run a marathon but falls short of their target time, this shouldn't be viewed as a failure. Instead, the focus should be on the growth and progress they've achieved from their starting point. This perspective applies broadly, from pursuing a new role or career shift to adopting healthier eating habits. Recognizing and valuing the habits developed and the strides made throughout the process can profoundly shift a client's mindset. It's about appreciating the journey's value and power it holds in personal development.

Quite often a lack of self-confidence in accomplishing tasks stems from overwhelm. Looking at a Big Picture and end goal as daunting, not knowing where to enter in, and what steps to take to get there. Coaching a client through creating SMART goals breaks that Big Picture into small, manageable steps and easy wins. Help the client, early on to create movement and cultivate a sense of accomplishment.

I go a lot more by creating those mirrors for my cochees..and I leave it to them to pick up the areas for improvement or to work upon. Once they own it, then self-motivation works. The fact that the coachee has reached me and entered into coaching conversations by investing time and money means they want to work on themselves. Obviously, every session would start with the discussion on practice from earlier session. It is often the reverse. Seeing the results, as a coach I feel encouraged to give more..And considering the impact of subtle changes coachees too feel the same. Nothing will encourage a coachee if coach is not able to deliver..

Put your attention on making progress rather than achieving perfection: In addition to praising their accomplishments, highlight their efforts. Provide input that is constructive: Particular remarks and words of encouragement should be directed towards areas that need improvement.

Feedback. This is interesting. I ask the client to give themselves feedback in the sessions. How did you get on? what worked? what didn't? I really believe a coach is there to get the answers out and get the client to realise how amazing they already are.

Relate with your mentee. All of us have felt like crap, but look how we've decided to help others deal with their crap! We had to overcome our insecurities too or at least try to. We use our insecurities and our negative experiences to help people deal with theirs. Let them know that there is always some kind of hope. Even if it doesn't feel that way, there definitely is. Some sacrifices might need to be made, but does it matter if it can get you to a better place? If you look at your biggest fears, one day they will all be irrelevant. Try to do everything with positive intentions and life will get much better. Give it your all until you leave this Earth: You'll get far. These are some things that I would say to uplift someone!

When I collaborate with clients, I recognize the negative aspects while nurturing and cultivating the positive ones. I believe that the present reflects the past and that their future is shaped by their current state of being. Together, we create a space where they can focus on newfound insights and set aside old patterns of language and behavior that no longer serve them.

Leveraging the four pillars of wellness—spiritual, mental, physical, and financial—is essential in fostering a holistic sense of confidence and well-being. Encouraging clients to cultivate spiritual wellness can provide them with a sense of purpose and connection, grounding their actions and thoughts in deeper values. Mental, through practices like mindfulness, strengthens resilience and positive thoughts. Physical wellness, achieved through regular exercise, nutrition, and rest, boosts energy levels and self-esteem, impacting one's self-perception. Lastly, financial, which involves managing finances wisely and planning for the future, offers a sense of control, reducing stress and fostering a confidence that extends beyond monetary means.

Helping clients develop healthy strategies to handle stress, which can affect their confidence, is an important part of stress treatment. Encourage healthy habits such as exercising, getting enough sleep, and eating well, all of which add to an individual's general well-being and confidence through their actions. A client who was experiencing difficulties with confidence as a result of burnout discovered relief via the practice of mindfulness. They experienced an improvement in their mood and were able to tackle issues with a more optimistic view after learning how to manage stress.

Overall well-being is essential for everyone. We canont separate what we do in the workplace from how we care for ourselves during our personal time. Mental clarity, physical well-being, and overall health have a direct correlation to performance.

Let your mentee know to take care of themselves. Familiarize yourself with Maslow's hierarchy of needs and encourage your mentee to do the same. Hopefully, your mentee will be in a safe place and have shelter. If not, it would be our moral duty to at least TRY to get them to a better position ASAP. Seek out resources such as food pantries in shelters if necessary. Otherwise, make sure that they take time to focus on themselves. If a mentee is really bothered by something, give them a session to write out everything they're feeling. Refer any mentees to therapy/other services if necessary. Only do as much as you're comfortable with. Build your mentee up at every session and remind them to be kind to themselves! Writing more in point 6.

In my experience, there are three points to consider. 1. Do not accept the "lack of confidence" at face value - This is what the client may be telling me. However, this could be temporary due to a mix of professional and personal situations. So, I need to ask more questions to peel the onion. 2. Take your time with solutions - Sometimes, loss of confidence could be fleeting. Like a sportsman who goes through a bad patch and one good day, she could feel at the top of the world. So, I have a few conversations before suggesting options. 3. Each situation is unique—I resist the temptation to compare a client's situation with another. While there could be similarities, rarely is there an easy and obvious answer.

Confidence is built on a genuine belief that we have the resources we need to face our challenges. By helping clients design active experiments with just the right balance of risk and safety coaches can help clients build those beliefs. This might involve an experiment to challenge how they see the world or to try out a new skill. What's critical is the experimental mindset and the willingness to value the outcome, whatever happens.

When my client is wrestling with lack of confidence, one strategy I have used is to help them get in tough with their strengths. Ask them what attributes have helped them succeed in the past. Have them reflect on a prior peak performance. Lack of confidence is fueled by negative inner-dialogue. When you help a client shift their inner dialogue to be positive - about their strengths and past peak experiences - they can ignite confidence and self-belief.

Lack of confidence is simply absence of an effort to look back and pick up the moments when one was extremely confident. Resource is available inside. As a coach it is my ability to get the client to get in touch with that resource to help the coachee return to their confident ways..

Most of us lack confidence in some point of our careers. Especially when stepping up and facing new challenges. For me and for my clients lack of confidence is also a sign that we play a bigger game. For us a confidence is often a by product of our actions and the proof that we have done the work!