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What do you do if your boss is encroaching on your personal time?

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As an engineering manager, you have a lot of responsibilities and deadlines to meet. But you also have a personal life that needs your attention and care. Sometimes, your boss may not respect your boundaries and expect you to work overtime, answer calls or emails after hours, or take on extra tasks that interfere with your plans. How do you deal with this situation without damaging your relationship with your boss or compromising your performance? Here are some tips to help you handle this common challenge.

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Rajesh Kadam

Software Engineering Manager - Product Line Anchor/ Delivery Manager at Ford Motor Company | Mentor, Tech Manager…
Ken Corey

I help people, teams, companies be their best. Author, Senior Engineering Manager, Speaker - Steal the secrets in our…

1 Set clear expectations

One of the first steps to prevent your boss from encroaching on your personal time is to set clear expectations about your availability, workload, and priorities. Communicate with your boss regularly and proactively about your schedule, goals, and progress. Let them know when you are working, when you are off, and when you need flexibility. Also, make sure you understand what your boss expects from you and how they measure your success. If you have any concerns or conflicts, raise them early and propose solutions.

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Ken Corey

I help people, teams, companies be their best. Author, Senior Engineering Manager, Speaker - Steal the secrets in our book to supercharge your business!
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It needs to be agreed what you're going to be able to deliver. your contract probably says something between 35 and 37.5 hours in a week with "occassional" periods of overtime. If you're working 60 hours per week, something needs to change. Either the systems have broken down, the promotion process has broken down, or the team is collapsing. Agree where your job ends. If you cannot, it's time to consider moving to a new role where this is possible.

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Syed Fadzil Syed Mohamed

Fellow of The Institution of Engineers, Malaysia (FIEM)
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When a supervisor interferes with personal time, it can lead to burnout and decreased productivity. In such cases, it is critical to have a support structure in place, such as coworkers, mentors, or human resources personnel, who can offer advice and settle problems. Proactively addressing these concerns in a professional manner is critical to maintaining one's health and building a healthy work environment. Open communication and clear boundaries are critical elements towards resolving such situations.

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Manuel Ferrer-Herrera

Engineering and Business Executive
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The concept of work-life balance has been characterized by experts such as Marcus Buckingham as a myth because the impossibility of pursuing balance would take us to stagnation. We need to set expectations for ourselves and others around us, including our boss. In the modern workplace, we should not expect that a rigid schedule that fully separates our time from our work time exists, because it does not. So, set flexible expectations, such as allowing your boss to have access to you when it is mission-critical, or setting temporal boundaries where you would not be accessible regardless of the circumstance. Your skill and experience are probably indispensable, so view this demand for your time as a sign to think about career growth.

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2 Establish boundaries

Another important step is to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with your boss. Boundaries are not walls that isolate you from your boss, but guidelines that protect your well-being and productivity. Boundaries can include things like limiting the frequency and duration of meetings, turning off notifications or setting auto-replies for non-urgent messages, saying no to unreasonable requests or delegating them to others, and asking for feedback or recognition for your work. Boundaries can also involve having a support system, such as your peers, mentors, or HR, that can help you deal with any issues or conflicts with your boss.

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Rajesh Kadam

Software Engineering Manager - Product Line Anchor/ Delivery Manager at Ford Motor Company | Mentor, Tech Manager, Architect | Ex-XB, Ex-Barclays, Ex-Nomura, Ex-HSBC
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Establishing boundaries is crucial for maintaining productivity and achieving success. One aspect often overlooked is the creation of a "Not To-Do List." These are the tasks and distractions that can derail progress and drain valuable time and energy. Unchecked flexibility can lead to delays in addressing priority tasks. Often, in the pursuit of stakeholder satisfaction, we inadvertently neglect larger stakeholder priorities. Self-evaluation plays a significant role in addressing this issue. Soliciting feedback from engaged parties can help identify areas where boundaries need to be reinforced. Failing to establish clear boundaries can result in team burnout, leading to demotivation and hindered progress toward major milestones.

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3 Negotiate trade-offs

Sometimes, your boss may have a legitimate reason to ask you to work beyond your normal hours or scope, such as a critical deadline, a client emergency, or a strategic opportunity. In these cases, you may need to negotiate trade-offs with your boss that balance your personal and professional needs. For example, you could ask for some flexibility in your schedule, such as working from home, taking a longer break, or shifting your hours. You could also ask for some compensation, such as extra pay, time off, or recognition. Or you could ask for some resources, such as additional help, training, or tools.

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Ken Corey

I help people, teams, companies be their best. Author, Senior Engineering Manager, Speaker - Steal the secrets in our book to supercharge your business!
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Your boss is likely not trying to burn you out. What would the point be there? Your boss is trying to hit a goal. Do you know of any way where your boss could do that and still let you spend time with family? You could look at this as a cry for help rather than a demand for your personal time. See if there's anything you could trade. "I'll work this weekend, but I want comp time next week".

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4 Manage stress

Even if you follow the previous steps, you may still experience some stress from working with a demanding boss. Stress can affect your physical and mental health, as well as your performance and satisfaction. Therefore, you need to manage your stress effectively and proactively. Some ways to do this are to practice self-care, such as getting enough sleep, exercise, and nutrition, to engage in hobbies or activities that relax you and bring you joy, to seek social support from your friends, family, or colleagues, and to use positive coping strategies, such as meditation, breathing, or gratitude.

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5 Seek feedback

Finally, you should seek feedback from your boss and yourself on how you are doing and how you can improve. Feedback can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your areas of alignment and misalignment with your boss. Feedback can also help you build trust and rapport with your boss, as well as demonstrate your value and commitment. To seek feedback, you can ask your boss for regular check-ins, reviews, or evaluations, or use tools such as surveys, polls, or metrics. You can also solicit feedback from your peers, customers, or stakeholders. Moreover, you can reflect on your own performance and satisfaction, and set goals and action plans for your improvement.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if your boss is encroaching on your personal time?

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6

1 Set clear expectations

2 Establish boundaries

3 Negotiate trade-offs

4 Manage stress

5 Seek feedback

6 Here’s what else to consider

Engineering Management

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What do you do if your boss is encroaching on your personal time?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Set clear expectations

2 Establish boundaries

3 Negotiate trade-offs

4 Manage stress

5 Seek feedback

6 Here’s what else to consider

Engineering Management

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