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What do you do if your assertiveness is not resolving workplace conflicts?

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Assertiveness is often touted as a key to resolving workplace conflicts, but what if your firm stance and clear communication aren't cutting it? It's a common scenario that can leave you feeling stuck. But fret not, there are strategies you can employ to navigate these choppy waters. By understanding the nuances of workplace dynamics and exploring alternative conflict resolution methods, you can find a path to harmony even when assertiveness falls short.

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1 Reflect Inward

Before you look outward for solutions, take a moment to reflect on your own approach. Are you truly being assertive, or could your actions be perceived as aggressive? There's a fine line between the two, and crossing it can exacerbate conflicts. Ensure that your assertiveness is respectful, empathetic, and open to dialogue. Sometimes, a small adjustment in your communication style can make a big difference in how your message is received and can pave the way for more productive interactions.

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2 Seek Feedback

Sometimes, you might be too close to a situation to see it clearly. Seeking feedback from a trusted colleague or mentor can provide new insights into the conflict. They might notice things you've missed or offer alternative perspectives on the issue at hand. Remember, feedback is not about placing blame but about understanding the dynamics at play and finding ways to improve the situation for everyone involved.

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Carla Bange, MBA, SPHR, PHRca, SHRM-SCP (she/her/hers)

Senior Investigator, Ethics Office; Outcome-Oriented Leader
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To fully understand a situation, come from a point of inquiry. Ask questions. Ask questions of those involved if you are working to resolve conflict between others or ask yourself questions if you are directly involved. How do you feel about that? Why did you react that way? What is your concern or worry? Many times, employees want to know what the end game is, where is this unresolved conflict leading? Most misunderstandings or conflict stem from miscommunication. Keep working at trying to understand what is going on and how we got here. Where can someone give leeway? Where are they set in their beliefs and unwilling to change? How does that unwillingness impact the outcome? Come from a point of inquiry.

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3 Alternative Methods

If assertiveness alone isn't resolving the conflict, consider alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation or collaborative problem-solving. These approaches involve neutral third parties who can facilitate a conversation between the conflicting parties and help them reach a mutually agreeable solution. By stepping away from a direct confrontation and engaging in a structured process, you may find new ways to bridge the gap and resolve the conflict.

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4 Adjust Expectations

It's important to recognize that not all conflicts can be resolved quickly or as you initially envisioned. Sometimes, adjusting your expectations and being open to compromise can lead to a resolution that, while not perfect, is acceptable to all parties involved. Being flexible and willing to adapt your approach can demonstrate to others that you are committed to finding a workable solution, which can encourage them to do the same.

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Benjamin Mao

Culture | Leadership | People Development | Coaching
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Use empathy. Ultimately it is understanding who you are working with and being able to articulate such that one knows you understand what they are going through. It is never about who's right or wrong in a conflict but to uncover how the conflict happend and how can it not happen again. Communication is key, not to get your point across, but to allow those involved to share what made them feel this way, how they interpreted the actions, tone and words. Understanding the team's/organisation's objectives is most important and we are all working towards the same goal. We all have blindspots and it's about bringing those to the light, so we can understand and thus support each other as I believe none of us desire conflict.

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5 Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a crucial role in navigating workplace conflicts. It involves being aware of your own emotions and those of others, using this awareness to guide your thinking and actions. By tapping into your EI, you can better understand the motivations and feelings of the parties involved in the conflict, which can lead to more empathetic and effective solutions.

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6 Professional Help

When all else fails, it may be time to seek professional help. This could mean bringing in a human resources specialist, a professional mediator, or even attending conflict resolution training. These experts can provide the tools and techniques necessary to break through the impasse and foster a more collaborative and peaceful work environment.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if your assertiveness is not resolving workplace conflicts?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Reflect Inward

2 Seek Feedback

3 Alternative Methods

4 Adjust Expectations

5 Emotional Intelligence

6 Professional Help

7 Here’s what else to consider

Workplace Design

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What do you do if your assertiveness is not resolving workplace conflicts?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Reflect Inward

2 Seek Feedback

3 Alternative Methods

4 Adjust Expectations

5 Emotional Intelligence

6 Professional Help

7 Here’s what else to consider

Workplace Design

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