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What do you do if your assertiveness is not helping you influence others in the workplace?

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Assertiveness is a key component of effective communication in the workplace. It allows you to express your thoughts, beliefs, and needs directly and honestly while respecting others. However, if you find that your assertiveness isn't helping you influence your colleagues or superiors, it might be time to reassess your approach. The ability to influence others is not just about being assertive; it involves a combination of emotional intelligence, understanding, and strategic communication. This article will explore what you can do to enhance your influence in the workplace when assertiveness alone doesn't seem to be enough.

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Prashant Gupta

Senior Consultant at EY | Knowledge Manager | Building Dynamic Knowledge Ecosystems | Digital Producer | LinkedIn Top…

1 Reflect First

Before adjusting your strategy, take a step back and reflect on your current approach to assertiveness. Are you truly being assertive, or could your behavior be perceived as aggressive? Assertiveness is about balance—being forthright without being overbearing. Consider the language you use, your tone of voice, and your body language. Are they congruent with a respectful yet confident message? Reflecting on these aspects can help you identify if you need to recalibrate your approach to ensure that it's perceived as intended.

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Thomas Krüger

Creating space for conversations most don't have, but all want.
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Influence is much more about our unconscious beliefs than it is about our conscious actions. Influence comes out of identity, it is more about who we are and of course that is reflected in our doing. But if we only focus on learning influence as if it is some task we now have to do, we miss the essence of what influence really is about. To raise our level of influence we need to investigare deeply how we see ourselves, and how we see the world around us. The conclusions we draw out of this directly affects our influence on others.

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Sam Moore, CISM, CEH, CCFE, CCSP

Capable, Collaborative, Professional, Cyber Security Leader | Vulnerability Management | Cyber Risk Assessment | Cyber Security | Operations Management | Threat Intelligence Analysis
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I always ask myself, "Is this the help this person has asked me for?" before I assert my thoughts or opinions. This helps me help others where they want help.

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Abhilash Paul choudhury

LinkedIn Top Voice | Research and Quality Assurance Team Lead at MartLenz Research
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If my assertiveness isn’t translating into influencing others at work, I’d reassess my approach. First, I’d listen more to understand others’ perspectives and concerns. I’d tailor my communication style to be persuasive yet empathetic, focusing on building rapport and trust. Collaborating on shared goals and highlighting mutual benefits can also sway opinions. Seeking feedback and adjusting my approach based on outcomes would be key to improving my influence within the team or organization.

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2 Listen Actively

Active listening is a critical skill that can enhance your assertiveness. By showing genuine interest in what others have to say, you build rapport and trust. This doesn't mean just hearing their words, but also understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. When you actively listen, you demonstrate empathy and respect for your colleagues' perspectives, which can make them more receptive to your influence. Remember, communication is a two-way street, and effective influence often begins with being an excellent listener.

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Prashant Gupta

Senior Consultant at EY | Knowledge Manager | Building Dynamic Knowledge Ecosystems | Digital Producer | LinkedIn Top Voice
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If being assertive isn’t getting your ideas across, consider active listening. Really tuning in to others can build strong connections and trust. Try asking open questions in meetings, summarizing others’ points, and acknowledging their input. This approach helps create a collaborative atmosphere where your ideas naturally gain influence through mutual respect and engagement.

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3 Adapt Flexibly

Being assertive doesn't mean being inflexible. Sometimes, influencing others requires adapting your style to match the situation or the person you're communicating with. Pay attention to the cues others give and be willing to adjust your approach accordingly. This might mean being more patient with some colleagues or using more evidence and logic with others who prefer data-driven arguments. Adapting your assertiveness to the context shows emotional intelligence and can improve your persuasive power.

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4 Collaborate Openly

Influence often grows through collaboration rather than confrontation. Inviting others to work with you on finding solutions or making decisions can foster a sense of shared purpose. When people feel that their input is valued, they're more likely to be open to your influence. Collaboration also allows you to blend your ideas with those of others, creating a synergy that can lead to better outcomes than if you were working alone.

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5 Empower Others

Empowerment is an effective way to increase your influence. When you empower your colleagues by recognizing their strengths and encouraging their contributions, they are more likely to support your initiatives. Show that you value their expertise and experience. This not only boosts their confidence but also helps create advocates for your ideas. People are more inclined to be influenced by someone who has demonstrated trust in their abilities and judgment.

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6 Seek Feedback

Finally, don't underestimate the power of feedback in enhancing your influence. Seek out constructive criticism from peers and mentors about your communication style and influence tactics. Feedback can provide you with insights into how others perceive you and what might be hindering your ability to influence effectively. Be open to this feedback and use it to refine your approach. Continuous learning and self-improvement are key to becoming more influential in any professional setting.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if your assertiveness is not helping you influence others in the workplace?

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2

3

4

5

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1 Reflect First

2 Listen Actively

3 Adapt Flexibly

4 Collaborate Openly

5 Empower Others

6 Seek Feedback

7 Here’s what else to consider

Critical Thinking

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What do you do if your assertiveness is not helping you influence others in the workplace?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Reflect First

2 Listen Actively

3 Adapt Flexibly

4 Collaborate Openly

5 Empower Others

6 Seek Feedback

7 Here’s what else to consider

Critical Thinking

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