What do you do if your assertiveness is causing conflicts in the workplace?

If your assertiveness is causing conflicts in the workplace, it may be helpful to reflect on the CORE Quadrant model by Daniel Ofman. This model suggests that while assertiveness is a positive trait, when overused, it can lead to negative consequences. In this situation, it is important to balance assertiveness with patience, thoughtful decision-making, and empathy towards others' perspectives. By being more mindful of how and when you assert yourself, considering the impact on others, and practicing active listening, you can navigate conflicts more effectively and promote a harmonious work environment.

Como especialista em desenvolvimento de carreira sugiro que observe como você se comunica em diferentes situa??es e como as pessoas respondem a isso. Esteja atento aos seus padr?es de comunica??o, como tom de voz, linguagem corporal e escolha de palavras. Solicite feedback honesto de colegas e superiores sobre como sua comunica??o os afeta. Compare suas percep??es com as dos outros para identificar discrepancias e áreas de melhoria. Esteja aberto a ajustar seu estilo de comunica??o para melhor se adequar às necessidades e preferências dos outros. Pratique a empatia, colocando-se no lugar dos outros para compreender como sua comunica??o pode ser percebida e adaptando-se conforme necessário.

Pick Your Battles Wisely: Focus your assertiveness on issues that truly matter. If it's about process improvement or ensuring ethical conduct, address it. But for personality clashes or trivial matters, consider picking a different fight.

Focus on "I" Statements: Instead of accusatory statements ("You always miss deadlines"), use "I" statements to express concerns ("I'm worried about meeting the deadline if this isn't completed by tomorrow"). This puts the focus on the issue, not personal attacks. Assertiveness isn't just about expressing yourself. Ensure you're actively listening to understand the other person's perspective. This fosters collaboration and reduces the feeling of being talked down to.

Para melhorar seu estilo de comunica??o usando técnicas assertivas, comece identificando seus objetivos de comunica??o e expressando claramente suas necessidades e preocupa??es. Pratique a comunica??o direta e honesta, mantendo o respeito pelos outros. Use "eu" em vez de "você" ao expressar suas opini?es para evitar parecer acusatório. Esteja preparado para ouvir atentamente e validar os pontos de vista dos outros, demonstrando empatia. Pratique o uso de linguagem corporal aberta e assertiva para transmitir confian?a e sinceridade. Estabele?a limites claros e saiba quando dizer n?o de maneira respeitosa e esteja aberto ao feedback e disposto a ajustar sua abordagem de comunica??o conforme necessário para melhorar continuamente.

Conflicts stemming from assertiveness often highlight opportunities to boost your emotional intelligence. Focus on enhancing your empathy by genuinely considering your colleagues' viewpoints and emotional responses. This can transform your assertive communications into more collaborative interactions. Furthermore, manage your emotions effectively by pausing and taking a moment to compose yourself before addressing sensitive issues. This helps in maintaining professional relationships. For instance, I had a client who had mastered assertiveness but initially lacked empathy. By focusing on improving her active listening skills, she significantly increased her empathy, which in turn led to a noticeable reduction in workplace conflicts.

This is important - at any time someone is assertive, it will cause conflict. It is a given and it is logical - because you are not falling in with the herd. It is a consequence of the approach. But this conflict can be immature and tantrummy or it can be mature where parties work towards effective resolution. So when you decide you will be assertive, you also must decide to get good at handling conflict. You have decided to stand your ground and this means you have to also accept that you are not always right, that there are other solutions to go forward and that you should aim to find a practical, workable resolution. Becoming assertive does not mean you become obstinate, no - it means you become effective at finding mature resolutions.