What do you do when your client's values conflict with yours?

1 Identify your values

Before you can deal with value conflicts, you need to be aware of your own values and how they influence your practice. Your values are the beliefs and principles that guide your decisions and actions. They may be influenced by your culture, religion, education, personal experience, or professional code of conduct. Reflecting on your values can help you recognize your biases, assumptions, and judgments, and how they may affect your communication with your clients. You can use self-assessment tools, supervision, peer support, or ethical consultation to identify and clarify your values.

2 Respect your client's values

Your client's values are the beliefs and principles that guide their decisions and actions. They may be influenced by their culture, religion, education, personal experience, or legal obligations. Respecting your client's values means acknowledging and accepting their right to hold different views and preferences from yours, and not imposing your values on them. You can show respect by listening to your client's perspective, using open-ended questions, affirming their strengths and motivations, and summarizing their main points. You can also use reflective statements to express empathy and curiosity, and to check your understanding of their values.

3 Explore your client's values

Exploring your client's values means helping them articulate and examine their own views and preferences, and how they relate to their behavior change goals. You can use motivational interviewing skills, such as evoking, eliciting change talk, and scaling questions, to encourage your client to express their values and motivations, and to identify any discrepancies or conflicts. You can also use decisional balance exercises, values clarification activities, or pros and cons lists, to help your client weigh the benefits and costs of different options. Exploring your client's values can help them resolve their ambivalence, increase their confidence, and enhance their commitment to change.

4 Manage your reactions

Managing your reactions means being aware of and regulating your emotional and behavioral responses to value conflicts. You may experience feelings of frustration, anger, anxiety, or discomfort when you encounter a client who has values that clash with yours. You may also feel tempted to persuade, confront, or argue with your client, or to withdraw, avoid, or terminate the session. These reactions can harm your rapport and effectiveness, and may violate your ethical obligations. You can manage your reactions by using self-care strategies, such as breathing, mindfulness, or positive self-talk, and by seeking supervision, peer support, or ethical consultation.

5 Negotiate a common ground

Negotiating a common ground means finding a way to work with your client that respects both your values and theirs, and that aligns with their behavior change goals. You can use motivational interviewing skills, such as rolling with resistance, developing discrepancy, and supporting self-efficacy, to help your client move from a position of defensiveness or resistance to a position of openness and readiness. You can also use collaborative goal setting, action planning, and contracting, to help your client define and pursue their desired outcomes. Negotiating a common ground can help you build trust and collaboration, and facilitate positive change.

6 Refer or terminate when necessary

Referring or terminating means transferring or ending your relationship with your client when the value conflict is too severe or irreconcilable, and when it compromises your ability to provide effective and ethical service. You may consider referring or terminating when you have exhausted all the previous strategies, when you have consulted with your supervisor or ethics committee, and when you have informed and discussed the issue with your client. You should follow your professional code of conduct, agency policies, and legal requirements when referring or terminating. You should also ensure that you provide appropriate referrals, follow-up, and documentation.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?