What do you do if you encounter resistance while negotiating with difficult individuals?

In negotiations, it's important to stay calm. This helps you think clearly, make good decisions, and handle conflicts well. By managing your emotions, you can avoid reacting too quickly and keep control of the conversation. Whether you're feeling pressure, dealing with disagreements, or facing unexpected issues, staying calm gives you the confidence to handle whatever happens and find solutions that work for everyone.

Our perception is our projection. When we are not composed and calm enough, it gets our plan out of the window. And some people intentionally be difficult to be on the upper hand of the negotiation. What's important is to be respectful, instead of being friendly. We've been taught to be polite and friendly- let's not mistaken it with being compromise. I've seen many negotiators go out from their plan and end up falling into victim of compromise, because they would like to maintain being friendly and nice in negotiation.

1. Remain calm and composed to avoid escalating tensions. 2. Listen actively to understand the concerns and motivations of the other party. 3. Find common ground and focus on areas of agreement to build rapport. 4. Use persuasive communication techniques to present your arguments effectively. 5. Be flexible and open to compromise to reach a mutually beneficial solution.

Listening carefully is essential for negotiators. By paying close attention to the other party's thoughts and feelings, negotiators can learn important information and find areas of agreement. This behaviour builds trust, improves communication, and helps both sides work together to solve problems, leading to better agreements and stronger relationships.

In a theoretical case, we would hope to address the underlying interest of the counterpart- such as knowing their situation, pain point, implication, goal and preference. What gets into our way is emotion. To reduce the influence/biasness of emotion, it's essential that we construct a safe environment for our counterpart. This is done through active listening- to allow them to express their thoughts without being judged or interrupted. The skills required could be paraphrase, enquiry, emotion tagging and mindfulness.

Build rapport before build business. And rapport is related to liking. It isn't just about making them like us, but allowing ourselves to like them, see the positive in them. This would then contributes to different communication all together. When we like someone, we speak differently to them.

Often times when resistance persists in negotiations and a stalemate is imminent, it is prudent to TAKE A STEP BACK to REASSESS the overall situation. GO BACK TO BASICS: #1 - Remind yourself what your BATNA is, and potentially what the counterparty’s BATNA could be. # 2 - Think WHY the negotiation began in the first place for YOU and for the COUNTERPARTY. #3 - Remind yourself what your WALKAWAY POINT is (a.k.a. DEALBREAKER) Based on these fundamentals, consider: #1 - ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS #2 - PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS #3 - SEPARATE YOUR WANTS FROM NEEDS #4 - CATEGORIZE “MUST HAVES” & “NICE TO HAVE” #5 - REPEAT #1 to #4 FOR COUNTERPARTY

Reframe problem into opportunities. What we aspire to achieve is resolve arising problems- ideally win-win. Hence, the focus should be on bringing up underlying interest and address it. Position comes later.

In challenging negotiations, offering alternatives is essential for progress. By proposing different options that cater to everyone's needs, negotiators can overcome obstacles and reach agreements. This demonstrates flexibility and a willingness to collaborate, fostering trust and rapport. Moreover, suggesting alternatives promotes constructive discussion and problem-solving, redirecting the focus from conflict to finding mutually beneficial solutions. Ultimately, this approach enhances the likelihood of achieving satisfactory outcomes for all parties involved.

Flexibility and preparation are crucial. Get ready with your options, BATNA and concessions even before you show up at the negotiation table. Think of something which would be low cost-high value to avoid absorbing additional cost in the concession.