What communication strategies can you use to identify underlying issues that drive conflict?

1 Listen actively

Active listening is one of the most important communication skills for dealing with conflict. It involves paying attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and non-verbally, while showing interest and empathy. Active listening can help prevent misunderstandings, clarify assumptions, and uncover the needs, values, and emotions that lie beneath a conflict. To listen actively, you should ask open-ended questions to explore the issue and encourage the other person to share their perspective. Additionally, you should use paraphrasing and summarizing to check your understanding and demonstrate that you are listening. To further show appreciation for the other person's feelings, use affirming statements and gestures. Lastly, avoid interrupting, judging, or giving advice unless asked.

3 Use the I-statements technique

The I-statements technique can be a helpful tool for expressing your feelings and needs in a constructive way. I-statements are sentences that start with "I" and describe your feelings, needs, and the reasons behind them. By using this technique, you can communicate your perspective without blaming or attacking the other person, take responsibility for your own feelings and needs without expecting the other person to change, and invite the other person to understand your point of view. Additionally, I-statements can reduce defensiveness and hostility while also increasing cooperation and trust.

4 Seek to understand the other person's feelings and needs

Empathy is an effective communication strategy that can help identify the underlying issues driving conflict. It involves putting yourself in the other person's shoes and attempting to understand their feelings and needs. Through empathy, you can recognize the human dignity of the other person, discover what motivates their behavior and choices, locate common ground between your positions, and generate creative solutions that satisfy both parties' interests.

5 Use positive and respectful language

Using positive and respectful language is another communication strategy that can help you identify underlying issues that drive conflict. This means selecting words and tone that convey respect, appreciation, and optimism. Doing so can help you avoid negative and inflammatory language that could trigger anger, resentment, and resistance. You should also stay away from absolute and generalizing language that can limit options and perspectives. Instead, opt for inclusive and collaborative language that can foster a sense of belonging and partnership. Additionally, using appreciative and affirming language can enhance self-esteem and confidence.

6 Ask for feedback and suggestions

Another communication strategy that can help you identify underlying issues that drive conflict is asking for feedback and suggestions. This means inviting the other person to share their opinions, ideas, and preferences which can demonstrate your openness and willingness to learn and improve. It also encourages the other person to participate and contribute to the resolution process, as well as identify areas of agreement and disagreement. Additionally, you can explore alternative and innovative options and evaluate their pros and cons.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?