What causes coachees to resist constructive feedback?

There are about 180 biases that affect everything we do and how we think. So it is first and foremost to identify these barriers and overcome them. Being able to show different perceptions is one key part of coaching.

Coachees may resist constructive feedback due to various factors, and understanding these reasons is crucial for effective coaching. One such reason is psychological barrier. Coachees may have psychological barriers rooted in self-defense mechanisms. Receiving constructive feedback can trigger a threat response, activating the ego's defense mechanisms to protect one's self-esteem. During the coaching session, its important as a coach to create a psychologically safe environment which usually address this psychological barrier. Encouraging a growth mindset, emphasizing that feedback is an opportunity for development, not a judgment and building trust and rapport before providing feedback helps remove this barrier while giving feedback.

Once you accepted that you are an example and you can coach, you need to be prepared to accept feedback even when it might be bad. The process is very long and thought so, we have to learn about these points and be grateful about them.

Before starting the coaching assignment, it's important to explain to the coachee what coaching is and is not. Being transparent fosters rapport and trust. Feedback is provided in the form of an observation,by taking prior permission to provide the same. The Coach can state what s/ he noticed without judgement and attachment.

I believe there are 2 main reasons why people resist constructive feedback: First is the fear of being criticized or labeled as a failure. Receiving feedback that highlights areas for improvement may trigger feelings of inadequacy or incompetence. The fear of judgment can be a significant barrier, causing individuals to resist feedback even if it is intended for their professional growth The other reason is having a fixed mindset and the belief that their abilities and intelligence are static traits that cannot be changed. When presented with constructive feedback, they may perceive it as a personal attack rather than an opportunity for growth

Past experiences or traumas can create emotional triggers that influence how individuals respond to feedback. If feedback reminds coachees of a past failure or rejection, they may react defensively. Coaches should help coachees recognize and manage emotional triggers. This involves creating awareness of emotional responses, providing a supportive space for expression, and teaching coping mechanisms.

The Coach needs to be mindful of,when in the session, the feedback is to be provided. The outcome of a Coaching session can be Awareness,Acceptance and/ an Action Plan. The feedback should be provided for the coachee to move forward. If there are many emotional triggers,the Coach should speak to the Coachee regarding referring the client to therapy.

Coaches should be empathetic and in the first sessions they will know what triggers coachees. It's essential to put yourself in your clients shoes, empathize and listen before giving feedback.

Cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias (favoring information that confirms existing beliefs) or self-serving bias (attributing successes to internal factors and failures to external factors), can shape how individuals interpret feedback. Coaches through coaching conversation need to raise awareness of cognitive biases, encouraging coachees to approach feedback with objectivity. Techniques like perspective-taking and considering alternative viewpoints can help mitigate cognitive biases.

Another way is to encourage coachees to journal. Journaling brings forth a lot of thoughts and feelings that the Coachee may have/ have not expressed. This helps them to see their truth,peel layers of the onion and become increasingly aware of their own biases,habits,thoughts and feelings. This then enables the client to shift perspective.

You need to adapt your communication style to your client, to your surrounding, as well as to their culture. Coaching is not one size fits all.

Organisational culture is very important. A growth mindset,where people can speak their minds in a psychological safe place,will determine how feedback is provided and how feedback is accepted and worked upon. Team work and collaborative productivity requires people with different skills,attitudes and behavioural patterns to come together to achieve goals and larger purpose of the organisation. Tolerance for differences is an enabler.

When the organizational climate attempts to control and manipulate behaviors, coachees can sense feedback is disingenuous. When they don’t trust the motives behind the words, they resist because the feedback is not intended to develop individual professional skills; it is intended to humiliate and coerce. Organizations with kindness-cultures do not just seek the right times but also carefully consider the right words and tone to inspire.

Organizational culture is crucial. Yet, it needs to be adapted to the cultures of their workers. It needs to be adjusted constantly. Most companies use US values in their company cultures which might be a misfit in Europe, Latin America.

For coachees, accepting feedback, particularly when it pertains to areas of improvement, can be challenging. Therefore, the preparation of feedback is just as important as delivering it with honesty, respect, and a sincere intention to assist the coachee in understanding, processing, and benefiting from it. People tend to have excellent memory retention, and feedback dialogues are often remembered over time. Hence, a humanistic approach is vital to minimize resistance, establish connections, and engage coachees in a more enriching development journey. However, if the feedback results in the opposite effect, it can lead to resistance, disappointment, and disengagement, thereby affecting the trust level between the leader and the coachee.

I like to try mirroring exercises. How would you react if you had gotten the feedback from yourself. Record yourself and speak to you, then you will know. It's important to be empathetic and prepare yourself and adapt your communication to the coaches. Instead of feedback, try to ask them questions that will empower them.

"Trust" is the ultimate key to embrace feedback. A coach's mission is to "create a safe, supportive environment that allows the client to share freely" and accept constructive feedback.

Lack of Psychological Safety at workplace can be a limiting factor. You don't feel safe and there is distrust in the system and even the person providing the feedback. Your own limiting beliefs and Saboteurs can be another factor.

● There can be a fear of being judged , triggering a defensive response to protect one's self esteem ● Coachees some time closely tie their self worth to their performance and they consider feedback feel like a personal attack rather than an opportunity to grow.

Timing. I don’t buy into the notion of immediate feedback. Immediate feedback selfishly satisfies a one-sided desire to “get it over with.” Good coaches seek opportune times to deliver feedback so that it can be received by ready hearts and willing minds.