What can you do with an unresponsive mentee?

1 Identify the root cause

The first step is to understand why your mentee is unresponsive. There could be various reasons, such as personal issues, work stress, lack of clarity, loss of confidence, or mismatched expectations. Try to empathize with your mentee and put yourself in their shoes. Ask them open-ended questions and listen actively to their concerns and challenges. Don't assume or judge, but rather seek to clarify and understand.

2 Adjust your approach

Based on the root cause, you may need to adjust your mentoring approach to suit your mentee's needs and preferences. For example, if your mentee is overwhelmed by work, you may need to reduce the frequency or length of your sessions, or focus on more practical and actionable advice. If your mentee is unsure about their goals, you may need to help them define and prioritize them, or revisit your mentoring agreement. If your mentee is losing confidence, you may need to provide more positive feedback and encouragement, or share your own stories of overcoming challenges.

3 Re-establish rapport

Another important step is to re-establish rapport and trust with your mentee. Sometimes, unresponsiveness can be a sign of a breakdown in communication or a lack of connection. To remedy this, you can try to inject some warmth and humor into your conversations, or share some personal anecdotes or interests. You can also show genuine interest and curiosity in your mentee's life and career, or ask for their feedback and opinions. Remember to respect your mentee's boundaries and privacy, and avoid being intrusive or pushy.

4 Set clear expectations

One of the common causes of unresponsiveness is a mismatch between the expectations of the mentor and the mentee. To avoid this, you need to set clear and realistic expectations from the start, and revisit them regularly. You can use a mentoring agreement or contract to outline the goals, roles, responsibilities, and expectations of both parties. You can also discuss the preferred mode, frequency, and duration of communication, and the best way to follow up and track progress. Make sure to communicate your expectations clearly and respectfully, and invite your mentee to do the same.

5 Offer incentives and rewards

Sometimes, your mentee may need some extra motivation or encouragement to stay engaged and responsive. You can offer some incentives or rewards to spark their interest and enthusiasm. For example, you can introduce them to some useful resources, contacts, or opportunities that are relevant to their goals. You can also recognize and celebrate their achievements and milestones, or provide some constructive feedback and suggestions. You can also challenge them to stretch their skills and abilities, or give them some autonomy and choice in their learning process.

6 Know when to let go

Finally, you need to know when to let go of an unresponsive mentee. If you have tried all the above strategies, and your mentee is still not showing any signs of improvement or interest, you may need to accept that the mentoring relationship is not working out. You can have an honest and respectful conversation with your mentee, and explain why you think it is best to end the relationship. You can also offer some referrals or alternatives that may suit them better, or wish them well for their future. Don't take it personally or blame yourself, but rather learn from the experience and move on.