What are the best ways to build rapport with someone who communicates differently than you?

1 Identify their style

The first step to building rapport is to identify the communication style of the person you are interacting with. There are many frameworks and tools that can help you do this, such as the DISC model, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or the VAK model. These models can help you understand how the person prefers to receive and share information, what motivates them, and how they respond to feedback. For example, if the person is more dominant and assertive, they may value directness, clarity, and results. If the person is more supportive and cooperative, they may value harmony, empathy, and relationships.

3 Listen actively

The third step to building rapport is to listen actively to the person. Listening actively means that you pay attention to what the person is saying, how they are saying it, and what they are not saying. It also means that you show interest, curiosity, and respect for their perspective, feelings, and needs. You can do this by using verbal and non-verbal cues, such as nodding, smiling, eye contact, paraphrasing, summarizing, and asking open-ended questions. Listening actively can help you understand the person better, avoid misunderstandings, and demonstrate empathy.

4 Find common ground

The fourth step to building rapport is to find common ground with the person. Common ground is anything that you have in common with the person, such as values, goals, interests, experiences, or opinions. Finding common ground can help you establish trust, rapport, and credibility with the person. You can do this by sharing something personal or professional about yourself, asking about their background or hobbies, or expressing appreciation or agreement with something they said or did.

5 Give feedback

The fifth step to building rapport is to give feedback to the person. Feedback is the information that you give or receive about the performance, behavior, or outcome of a task or a situation. Giving feedback can help you improve your communication, collaboration, and relationship with the person. However, feedback can also be sensitive, challenging, or difficult to deliver or receive. Therefore, you need to be careful about how, when, and why you give feedback. You can do this by following the SBI model, which stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. This model can help you give feedback that is specific, objective, and constructive.

6 Follow up

The sixth and final step to building rapport is to follow up with the person. Following up means that you check in with the person, acknowledge their progress, offer support, or ask for feedback. Following up can help you maintain and strengthen your rapport, communication, and relationship with the person. You can do this by sending a thank-you note, a reminder, a suggestion, or a request. You can also use different channels, such as email, phone, or face-to-face, depending on the person's preference and availability.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?