As an executive coach, you may encounter coachees from different backgrounds, such as culture, ethnicity, gender, or generation. How can you build a positive relationship with them and help them achieve their goals? Here are some tips to enhance your coaching skills and rapport with diverse coachees.
The first step to building a positive relationship with a coachee from a different background is to respect their differences and avoid assumptions or stereotypes. Learn about their values, beliefs, preferences, and communication styles, and ask them how they want to be addressed, supported, and challenged. Show genuine curiosity and openness, and listen actively and empathically to their stories and perspectives.
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I always use the first call / meeting to assess the most important, which is chemistry. Before someone said here, that there is no need of positivity, I guess that can work short term but not long term. You set expectations from each other, they are crucially, and I can’t think of any situation where there was not personal, trusting link established at first - always with positivity and curiosity.
Was ist eine positive Beziehung? Ich brauche keine positive Beziehung, ich brauche eine vertrauensvolle Beziehung. Vertrauen ist der Schlüssel. Ich finde, das Wort positiv hier nicht passend. Da es keinen wirklichen Indikator darstellt sondern eine Bewertung. Angenehm und unangenehm w?ren z.B. Worte, die benutzt werden k?nnten. Ich kann eine angenehme, vertrauensvolle Beziehung haben, und ich kann eine unangenehme vertrauensvolle Beziehung haben. Beide Beziehungen haben die Basis für eine sehr effektive Coaching Beziehung. Warum? Weil sie vertrauensvoll sind. D.h., dass alles, was dabei hilft, dass Vertrauen entsteht, dazu führt, dass eine Coaching Beziehung eine Basis hat, die gute Früchte tragen kann.
Active listening is, in my experience, the most powerful tool for building the alliance. Means not talking, putting the self aside, synchronizing with the coachee's verbal and non verbal communication. It means also being able to build a safe and confortable piece of space and time where the coachee feels the freedom to express his.her uniqueness without any judgment or categorization. Ant to this point, the differences in the background are not relevant anymore because the coach is totally inside the coachee's world.
I would like to challenge this question as being too general: "what are the positive ways to build a positive relationship with a coachee from a different background?"What is meant by the word " background"?Are we referring to culture, to ethnicity, religion, education, gender etc?If I answer this question in the broadest sense, I would have to say that all of my coachees have a different background from me. No matter who I am coaching, none of us have the exact same experiences. While there may be some commonalities from one person to another, there are also always differences. Some of those differences may be more complex,sensitive than others.Yes, respect is essential to each and every interaction,regardless of "background."
In my experience, you have to listen to them. Understand where they are coming from, hear their story of struggles and happiness and above all build their TRUST!
The second step is to adapt your coaching style to suit the coachee's needs and expectations. You may need to adjust your language, tone, pace, feedback, and interventions to match their level of comfort and trust. For example, some coachees may prefer a more direct and structured approach, while others may appreciate a more flexible and exploratory one. You can also use tools such as the DISC model or the Intercultural Development Inventory to assess and develop your cultural competence and awareness.
Yes and no. Adapting is important but only to the extent where you can still be authentic. They chose you as their coach for a reason. They like something about you and your style and that shouldn't get lost in 'overadapting'. However, if you feel that something might come across as harsh or rude to someone from another culture, it helps to 'introduce' that with a sentence like "You might find this a little provocative but I think it will help us get to the bottom of the matter"
A seasoned Coach's hallmark is adapting to different hierarchy levels across industries and geographies. Beyond these layers, Coach and client discover the fundamentals of being human - how we think, feel, and act. Yes, standard instruments such as GROW or DISC can be used, but eventually, it boils down to the equation of trust and vulnerability between the coach and the client to make things work!
Active Listening: Practice active listening to understand the coachee's unique experiences, challenges, and aspirations. Create a space where they feel heard, valued, and understood, fostering trust in the coaching relationship. Open Communication: Encourage open communication by creating a non-judgmental and inclusive environment. Be receptive to different communication styles and encourage the coachee to express themselves authentically.
Je ne suis pas totalement d’accord avec cette approche. Car oui il est nécessaire de s’adapter à nos coaché pour l’accompagner, le comprendre et créer une relation de confiance. Mais c’est à nous de poser le cadre avec la méthode que nous avons choisie. C’est en amont du début réel du coaching qu’il faut poser les choses et expliquer notre méthode, en quoi elle peut réellement aider notre coaché et dans quelle mesure on peut l’adapter. Si le coaché vient me voir, c’est qu’il a un besoin précis et que la méthode est susceptible de l’aider. Donc à nous de faire preuve de rigueur dans notre posture de coach tout en gardant l’esprit ouvert pour réellement aider positivement notre coaché en le guidant vers l’atteinte de son objectif ?
Natürlich darf keine überforderung stattfinden. Allerdings sehe ich es als wesentliche Aufgabe des Coaches, in einem strukturierten Prozess, den Coachee aus seiner Komfortzone zu holen. Denn nur au?erhalb der Komfortzone findet Entwicklung statt.
The third step is to leverage the coachee's strengths and potential, and help them overcome any barriers or challenges they may face due to their background. You can use positive psychology techniques such as appreciative inquiry, strengths-based coaching, or growth mindset to highlight their achievements, talents, and opportunities. You can also help them identify and address any biases, stereotypes, or discrimination they may encounter in their work environment, and equip them with strategies and resources to cope and thrive.
By identifying the unique strengths and capabilities of individuals and recognizing that people want to cultivate the best versions of themselves through appreciative inquiry by meaningfully helping them to increase their capabilities for creativity and curiosity, for work and resilience, for integrity and wisdom and for love, compassion and relationships. The PERMA method can be used to highlight building blocks for enabling them to make informed choices towards cultivating positive emotions about their past, present and future and for living a flourishing life mindfully and that is not constrained or restricted by any bias about their background.
Again, I feel this should go both ways. You will also want to help them uncover any biases they might have and how they could be counterproductive.
Affirm their strengths so that they feel their contributions matter. Engage in conversations so they can talk about their background and how they see their experience is valuable. Also, make it clear that their differences are a strength at the same time they may need to make adjustments in style to conform to the organizational culture. That statement applies to everyone in the organization.
I ve noticed most coachees tend to focus on what they still have to develop. Starting with what they already are good at and leveraging that to bridge further development is a good approach.
It is essential to understand the strengths and weaknesses of any individual. To be able to adapt and enable weaknesses to be removed through development and also to understand how using current strengths can support this as well as future exp ratio
The fourth step is to celebrate the coachee's uniqueness and diversity, and acknowledge the value they bring to their organization and society. You can use motivational interviewing, storytelling, or visioning to help them articulate and express their identity, purpose, and goals. You can also encourage them to seek and offer mentorship, sponsorship, or networking opportunities to others from different backgrounds, and to promote a culture of inclusion and belonging in their teams and organizations.
Any successful leader or person aspiring needs to recognise the strengths people offer to the team. This can be specialist like HR, finance IT etc but also personal skills. Building teams is more complex than the individual but coach the means and importance of listening to all to gain knowledge, consolidate and make decisions and then teach by explaining the contributions that influence. This builds good open teams
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Many times, my subordinates from younger generations ask for feedback on their performance. This was not common in my generation. I realize that this evaluation and sharing with coachee's is fundamental in maintaining their proactivity and improvement.
I implemented a 'Reverse Mentoring' program where coachees from diverse backgrounds mentor senior employees in areas such as technological advancements, contemporary cultural trends, or new market insights. This approach not only highlights the unique perspectives and skills of the coachee but also reinforces the value of diversity and inclusion at all organizational levels.
Coaching is not validating a client, no matter what background they are from. Our job as coaches is to remain neutral.. It's helping them to feel that value themselves through one approach only - asking them powerful questions. And also, why should their diverse background even be a topic? Our job as coaches is to remain neutral. Celebrating a coachee's uniqueness? That's not coaching. Helping the client to feel comfortable during the session and acknowledging that they are doing great to trust me the coach and to deeply reflect on the questions I ask, that I can celebrate. But empower them to find and celebrate their own uniqueness by asking great questions.
It's helpful to share when the coachee is making cultural assumptions by asking if you can share how you experienced something and how together you can craft a unique approach that is authentic and effective.
The fifth step is to seek feedback and learning from the coachee and other sources, and to reflect on your own coaching practice and development. You can use tools such as the Coaching Feedback Form, the GROW model, or the Reflective Learning Cycle to evaluate the effectiveness and impact of your coaching sessions, and to identify areas for improvement or further exploration. You can also seek supervision, peer coaching, or professional development opportunities to enhance your skills and knowledge as a coach.
I would add to this make the time to educate yourself about your coaches background rather than relying on them to do all the emotional labour and heavy lifting for you. Can you do your own research on their culture/uniqueness so that you are more informed as to how that shows up in your relationship and how you can be more inclusive.
In my coaching practice, I've implemented a gamification system using Google Sheets to track my progress and achievements. I started by identifying specific challenges and milestones related to my coaching techniques and feedback scores. In my Google Sheets tracker, I outlined these goals, assigning point values and levels to each, and set up columns for tracking completion dates and observations. I utilized conditional formatting to create visual indicators of my progress, such as color changes or filling bars, to clearly represent my achievements. Additionally, I incorporated a personal reward system, where reaching certain levels or accumulating points leads to rewards that I enjoy.
Every feedback is unique and based on this single coaching session. It is necessary to understand your coachee and to appreciate their opinion. It's not about your value as a coach but how well you supported your client in this single session. Was there something you didn't see or feel? Did you lose the connection to the coachee at any point? Was the coaching method not as helpful as you have thought? Finally, feedback strengthens the relationship between coach und coachee because it strengthens the picture of the coachee "I am ok, you are ok".
Seeking feedback is crucial - and remember that not everyone has the same level of comfort in sharing constructive input with coaches. While I think you should always ask "Is there anything that I should know?" or "What can I do to better provide support?" it might take a few tries for someone to be willing to provide this. Also, when feedback is given, listen without getting defensive. Remember to be thankful for their trust in you. Be genuine - it's generally easy to tell when someone doesn't actually want to be told how to improve.
Une bonne habitude à prendre est de faire ce travail de retrospection après chaque séance de coaching. J'ai adopté cette pratique durant ma formation en coaching. De plus, la supervision régulière de sa pratique avec un coach superviseur expérimenté est essentielle.
The sixth and final step is to enjoy the journey of coaching a coachee from a different background, and to appreciate the mutual benefits and growth that result from it. You can use gratitude, humor, or celebration to express your appreciation and recognition for the coachee's efforts and achievements, and to reinforce the positive relationship you have built. You can also share your own insights, challenges, or learnings from the coaching process, and to celebrate the diversity and richness of human experiences.
When you are working with a client from different background, curiosity, not understanding a few words and augmenting more of non verbal communication , operating from a point of not knowing etc becomes natural. This invariably leads to deeper listening, heightened presence, being with the client in full. This experience creates a fertile ground for both coach and client to evolve many steps together and enjoy the journey
Aprenda e curta esse momento. N?o é sempre que temos essa oportunidade. Valorize essa experiência e fale isso abertamente para seu coachee
The key is to Embrace and celebrate diversity within the coaching relationship. Acknowledge and appreciate the richness that diverse perspectives bring to the coaching process, fostering a positive and inclusive dynamic.
La relación coach - coachee es beneficiosa para ambas partes. El que da recibe y, normalmente, ambos salen reforzados de la relación.
If it's joyful, it won't feel like work work. It's a beautiful journey that honors what you love to do, in a happy manner!
Make them comfortable to share. Humans have a lot of potential. If they focus they can achieve a lot. The role of a coach is to enable them to think beyond inhibitions. This is only possible if they are comfortable to share.
If we constantly lean in on the difference, it becomes about the difference - and the distance. More helpful, surely, that we centre around the core principle of unfailing curiosity about and care for our client and their unique need?
I believe that the title of the article misses some context. Coachee coming from a different background, yet I believe a different background has to be contextualised: relating to culture, professional track, political environment, country of origin, life experience. Background is just so vast that depending on the situation, this has to be contextualised and understood, identify the gaps with the current "background" the coachee is operating in or trying to enter and then collaborate with the coachee to reconcile differences that will support their growth and expression of their uniqueness.
In my experience, I have to be safe as a coach for them to know that it does not matter what they share, they won’t be judged or criticized. My intention is to help them overcome their obstacles is to fast track their goal.
Follow the development of the market and observe what people want. The industry is changing and you need to bring new approaches now and then. People want special and personalized services, which still follows a certain system/journey. It's not a final result, it's a start of a journey in my opinion.