What are the best strategies for detecting and responding to nonverbal cues in a conversation?

Pay attention to your own nonverbal cues, as they can affect the dynamics of the conversation. Maintain open and approachable body language, and be aware of your tone of voice. If a person is at ease in the conversation the nonverbal cues will be authentic. When you detect them, name them, so that you dig deeper in the conversation. 'I notice during our conversation that you....'

One piece of advice from a mentor that's always stuck with me is the importance of observing nonverbal cues, not just in body language but also in a person's space. As I navigated the early stages of entrepreneurship, meeting new people daily and tapping into the vibrant Bangalore startup ecosystem, I discovered a simple yet effective strategy. Upon entering an office, I'd take a moment to scan the desk and surroundings. It's fascinating how much these personal artifacts can reveal. A cluster of event tags, a framed photo of a pet, or a quirky paperweight—each item tells a story. Initiating a conversation about these personal touches often opens doors more effectively than the usual small talk about weather or traffic.

Non-verbal cues can be complex. The most important thing to address is NEVER ASSUME! While living in the Philippines, I watched people raise their eyebrows in response to me talking. There, it is a common sign to indicate you have been understood. In other countries, it is the opposite. Context (cultural, situational, experiential) gives meaning to non-verbal cues, and you should understand that context before responding. On the issue of non-verbal cue detection, "cue clustering," which suggests focusing on multiple cues rather than a single gesture or expression, is the best approach. Finally, there ARE some universal nonverbals to heed (like physically stepping back, for example).

1. Attention 2. thinking out of the box 3. Healthy conversation 4. Don't build assumption 5. body language 6. don't start reply to mails, WhatsApp **MD**

Turkish is a very non-verbal language and to understand the counter party's emotions you should be a very empathatic person in your own life and feel what the others' feel although you never met them before. Me, as an 15 years experienced salesperson usually don't do anything special to understand these cues, it's my empathy skill that feels it and most of the time it turns out right. Like dogs that limp when their owner limps, put yourself into the others' shoes. Finally please not forget: Do not listen to answer, just actively listen to understand. Then you can empathise more. But anyhow this is not maths, you can never be %100 sure.

This section is stop on. I like to phrase it as: ‘Seeing and hearing what isn’t being said.’ It’s not just the tone of voice or facial expressions - look out for the fidget in the chair or the eyes looking away, observe and follow up with an observation question.

Observe facial expressions like smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows, and squinted eyes. These can convey emotions and reactions. Pay attention to posture, gestures, and movements. Crossed arms might signal defensiveness, while open body language indicates receptiveness. Be aware that nonverbal cues can vary between cultures. What's acceptable eye contact or gesture in one culture may differ from another.

Imagine verbal and nonverbal cues as pieces of a puzzle that need to fit together. When they match and show the same emotion or message, it's like a perfect fit. But when they don't match, like someone saying they're happy but not showing it, it's like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit. In those cases, it's a clue that there might be something more going on beneath the surface. To understand incongruence, you listen carefully, ask questions, and show that you care and want to know more.

People usually will have a motive , to assess why theirs is important and why a meeting is flowing in a particular direction,one must be observant and empathetic towards all sides. However, once a motive is assessed,staying objective and maintaing sovereignty is essential. For example ,someone who's been highly critical of someone in the past suddenly ups it to high praise ,there needs to be room to understand why is such a huge and sudden change taking place ? Do they need a professional feedback/registry or share of mind regarding an idea to be backed? Choice to act on information should stay with the individual and their actions solely per their genuine path and their vested authority.

We take congruence for granted and believe that words and nonverbal cues should match and when they don’t, the words can’t be trusted. In unsafe relationships, or when a partner perceives his role to be that of a pleaser, they may go to great lengths to disguise body language and send a false message. The person who does this is as complicit in broken trust as if they had been unfaithful.

Mirroring and matching in nonverbal cues is like dancing to the same rhythm as the other person. It's a way to connect and show that you're on the same page. If they're leaning in, you lean in too; if they're speaking slowly, you slow down as well. This helps build a bond and lets them know you're really paying attention and value what they're saying. It's like a nonverbal way of saying, 'I'm here, and I'm with you.

From sitting to leaning forward or eye gazing you can spark attraction, bring harmony and strengthen your bond with someone and there is research to prove it. We notice children mirroring the parent they admire and dating couples so in sync with each other’s movements it is noticeable. Mirroring can be automatic but being intentional works as well. When consciously mirroring it is important not to overdo or mirror negatively as either of these can prompt the other person to be suspicious and turn away.

Ask Clarifying Questions: If you sense nonverbal cues but aren't entirely sure of their meaning, ask open-ended, clarifying questions in a non-threatening manner to seek understanding.

This is something I've always struggled with. Mirroring and Matching is not as easy as it sounds. Especially to someone like me. On the Surface, it sounds like a simple task to observe and replicate but in a real-world scenario when you're already anxious or especially in an important meeting. A major chunk of our conscious brain is already busy with keeping ourselves composed and functioning in a socially acceptable manner but with practice this is something that can be built to happen subconsciously so we won't have to consciously use out attention in mirroring.

Open and positive gestures are like the body language of friendliness and confidence. It’s all about showing that you’re interested and happy to be in the conversation. You can do this by smiling, nodding, looking into their eyes, using your hands, and keeping your arms and legs relaxed. These gestures help you convey your feelings and make the conversation more enjoyable for both sides.

It is safe to assume that your open and positive nonverbal cues will elicit a similar response but in highly conflictual conversations or facing opposition this may not be the case. Sometimes it is enough to know that your effort to be positive helps you to manage the stress you feel or cause.

Emotional Intelligence: Empathy: Try to understand the emotions behind the nonverbal cues. Facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures often convey emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, or anxiety. Response to Emotions: Respond appropriately to the emotions you detect. Validate their feelings, especially if the conversation seems emotionally charged.

Communicating intentionally and paying attention to the person you are with is vital to the health of a relationship. Of all the nonverbal cues, I believe tone and pace are least monitored. Variety in tone and pace tells the other that you are interested and it makes you interesting, mirroring says you are tracking with them and you find them engaging. Sending these positive messages also reflect automatically to you. The best conversationalist is one who lets their subject feel interesting.

Your tone and how fast or slow you talk are like the musical notes of your speech. They carry your feelings and energy. You can use them to sound excited, curious, unsure, mad, or bored. To understand and respond better, listen to how the other person talks and adjust your tone and speed. It's like speaking the same 'language' as them, making the conversation flow and connect.

This is an important one, I'm sure you've heard the phrase "it's not what you said it's how you said it." This is why I beleive that thinking about what you are saying even for a moment before responding will yield a more positive outcome rather than blurting out a pre loaded response that may change the flow of the conversation. Pace ties it all together by being the speed at which your thoughts are shared with the other person. My mom always says a French phrase that I will translate here: "Spin your tongue 7 times before speaking once."

Establish Rapport: Building trust and rapport can make it easier to interpret nonverbal cues. When people feel comfortable with you, they're more likely to express themselves more openly.

Agree - one of the things that really helps is to summarize and playback the gist of the conversation to ensure that all parties are on the same page...

Practice and Feedback: Regularly practice observing and interpreting nonverbal cues. Seek feedback from trusted individuals to enhance your understanding and responsiveness.

Consider the sex of the person you're talking to. Women universally and cross-culturally are more likely to pick up on non-verbal cues, while men are less likely to notice the small non-verbal cues. Ex: if you're trying to convey understanding with a woman you could use facial expressions but it may be better conveyed to a man with a vocal cue.

Deep listening, where you intentionally receive the other person - their speech, body language, intonation, energy - is key to understanding. We are wired to try to understand each other, including non verbal cues. Listening with your whole being - ears, mind, heart and body intelligence - enables a deep reception of the other. You can do this by relaxing your body, putting aside points you want to make, and being fully present to what the other person is saying. It's then critical to confirm that the information you are receiving is correct, using words such as 'what I understand from what you're saying is XYZ, is that correct / do I have that right?' When people feel seen and understood at this level, beautiful bonds can be created.

Some people naturally find these skills easier than others but they are skills that can be observed, learned and practiced. People who want to improve these skills but are scared can start off by observing a conversation between other people and noticing their non verbal cues. That takes the pressure off and they can reflect on what they notice, then they can try it themselves later. For example I’ve shadowed people in roles that I’m new to or want to do and watching how they interacted in different situations taught me a lot about non- verbal communication.

- Respond appropriately to the emotions you perceive. For example, show empathy if someone looks sad or excited if someone seems happy. Pay attention to the other person's eye contact. Lack of eye contact may indicate discomfort or disinterest. Adjust your own eye contact to match the other person's comfort level. Too much or too little eye contact can be perceived as inappropriate.

Most conversations we have are online, which makes nonverbal cues even harder to interpret! ? Here are some tips for best handling this online: 1) Ask people to always share camera in meetings. Being able to see face expressions and instant reactions to a message is crucial. 2) Play Devil's advocate and tune in for reactions. If you believe they consider an idea insane, be the first one to verbalize their concerns. "I don't know about you, but when I first heard this, I thought it's insane." 3) Follow-up with 1:1 sessions if you sense someone is holding back their opinion 4) Consider cultural background & adapt your communication 5) Consider psychological safety. How comfortable is your team to say "I don't know" or "I disagree"?