What are the best active listening and questioning techniques for a successful negotiation?

1 What is active listening?

Active listening is the process of paying attention to what the other person is saying, showing interest and empathy, and providing feedback and clarification. Active listening helps you to avoid misunderstandings, identify the underlying needs and interests of the other party, and demonstrate respect and appreciation. Active listening also encourages the other person to open up and share more information, which can help you to find common ground and creative solutions.

2 What is questioning?

Questioning is the process of asking relevant, open-ended, and probing questions to elicit more details, insights, and perspectives from the other person. Questioning helps you to gather information, clarify assumptions, test hypotheses, and challenge positions. Questioning also helps you to steer the conversation, explore alternatives, and generate options. Questioning should be done in a respectful and curious manner, avoiding leading, aggressive, or rhetorical questions that might put the other person on the defensive or shut them down.

3 How to combine active listening and questioning

Active listening and questioning are complementary techniques that can enhance your negotiation skills. To combine them effectively, you need to listen more than you talk and use verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are listening. Ask open-ended questions that start with who, what, when, where, why, and how to invite the other person to elaborate. Additionally, use probing questions to dig deeper and uncover underlying needs, interests, or motivations. Finally, ask clarifying questions to check for understanding and confirm facts. Doing so will help you avoid confusion and miscommunication while negotiating.

4 How to adapt to different scenarios

Active listening and questioning can be applied to different scenarios in employee relations, depending on the context, the goal, and the relationship of the parties involved. For instance, when salary negotiating, you can use active listening and questioning to understand your employer's expectations, constraints, and priorities, as well as demonstrate your value. Additionally, when having a performance review, active listening and questioning can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses. Moreover, when resolving a conflict or pitching a project proposal, active listening and questioning can help you acknowledge emotions, express feelings, generate options, and tailor your proposal. Examples of questions include “What are the criteria for determining salary increases?” or “What are the main issues or causes of the conflict?” or “What are the key features or benefits you are looking for?” Asking such questions will help inform and reassure stakeholders while providing valuable insights for improvement.

5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?