Breaking through a team member’s resistance to feedback requires empathy, patience, and thoughtful communication. Start by creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where they feel respected and supported. Approach the conversation with curiosity—ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective and underlying concerns. Frame feedback as a tool for growth, highlighting positives alongside areas for improvement. Use specific examples and focus on behaviors, not personal attributes. Most importantly, show empathy and a genuine desire to help them succeed. When people feel heard and valued, they’re more likely to embrace constructive change.

When feedback leads to serious disagreement, like when a team member feels unfairly blamed for project issues, it’s crucial to de-escalate tension and refocus the conversation. Instead of pushing harder, pause and acknowledge their perspective: “I see where you’re coming from.” This helps lower defenses. Focus on shared goals rather than assigning blame—“Let’s figure out how we can fix this together.” Be specific about behaviors, not personal traits, and highlight the impact on the team’s success. Most importantly, adapt your approach. Some respond better to direct conversations, others need time to process. Offer space if needed and revisit the feedback later. Recognize any progress and keep communication open—trust rebuilds over time.

Sometimes, unconscious defences keep insights from sinking in. ? From Practice: I once worked with a bright colleague who dismissed every suggestion—feedback felt like a threat. ? Theory Spotlight: defences (like denial, and projection) can hide deeper fears around competence and belonging. ? Contain Anxiety: Offer feedback in a calm, private setting. Acknowledge their view, showing empathy. ? Invite Collaboration: Ask, “How might we fix this together?” to reduce shame and boost ownership. By respecting the feelings behind resistance, you create a path for more honest conversations. Small shifts in approach spark genuine growth.

Resistance to feedback often stems from fear, insecurity, or past negative experiences. Building trust is key, start by reinforcing their strengths before addressing areas for growth. Frame feedback as a tool for their success, not a critique of their abilities. Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective and involve them in finding solutions. A growth-focused culture, where feedback is normalized and leaders model openness to it, helps break down defensiveness and encourage receptivity.

Breaking through resistance to feedback requires empathy, tact, and strategy: 1. Build Trust – Foster a psychologically safe space where feedback feels supportive, not punitive. 2. Ask, Don’t Just Tell – Encourage self-reflection: "How do you think that went?" 3. Make It a Dialogue – Position feedback as a two-way conversation, not a lecture. 4. Focus on Goals – Show how feedback aligns with their growth and success. 5. Use the SBI Model – Describe the "Situation", "Behavior", and "Impact" objectively. 6. Reinforce Strengths – Balance criticism with genuine appreciation. 7. Give Time & Space – Let them process and respond on their terms. Resistance often masks fear — disarm it with trust and clarity!