Struggling to communicate assertively with your superiors in stressful meetings?

When I’m in meetings with my superiors, code-switching makes assertive communication challenging. I become self-conscious, second-guessing my words and tone, which undermines my confidence. The gap between my natural way of speaking and how I feel I need to speak creates discomfort, making my communication feel forced. The pressure to code-switch correctly amplifies my anxiety, draining my mental energy and making it difficult to think clearly. I also fear being misjudged if I don’t code-switch effectively, which can make me overly cautious, holding back when I need to assert myself.

To communicate assertively with company leadership, especially under stress or with a challenging boss, stay calm and focused. Use clear, direct language and "I" statements. Maintain professionalism, even if faced with abusive behavior, and focus on facts and solutions. Set boundaries when necessary and document communications. Seek support from colleagues or mentors and understand company policies. Practice regularly and seek feedback to refine your approach.

Reconocer nuestro valor dentro de una organización es una práctica poderosa que puede influir positivamente en nuestra confianza, comunicación, participación, crecimiento profesional y relaciones laborales. Al reflexionar sobre nuestros logros y contribuciones, no solo nos beneficiamos a nivel personal, sino que también contribuimos al éxito general de nuestro equipo y organización.

Exploring the belief that you are never good enough entails delving into a deep-seated feeling of perpetual inadequacy, regardless of one's achievements or efforts. Confronting this belief often requires a reevaluation of one’s personal standards and goals, aiming for a balance between ambition and attainability. It also means learning to separate one’s self-worth from achievements and external validation. It requires building self-compassion and understanding that imperfection is a natural part of the human experience. Overcoming the belief of never being good enough is crucial for mental well-being and self-acceptance, paving the way for a more fulfilling and less self-critical approach to life’s challenges and opportunities.

In my experience, it’s essential to recognize the value you bring to the table. With over two decades of strategic leadership and a deep understanding of technology and infrastructure, I approach meetings with the confidence that my insights are backed by solid experience. This self-assurance is key to communicating effectively, even under pressure.

While it’s not realistic to prepare for every possible scenario, thorough preparation is crucial when you're a beginner or novice. It gives you the confidence to face new challenges with a clear plan, reducing anxiety and enabling you to communicate with clarity and assertiveness. The more prepared you are, the more confident and effective you’ll be, laying the groundwork for success in every interaction.

I believe that preparation is the foundation of assertive communication. I come to meetings well-prepared, armed with data, clear objectives, and a strategic plan. This level of preparation not only helps me stay focused but also ensures that my contributions are meaningful and aligned with broader business goals.

In my experience if you make sure you are well versed and passionate in your subject you will find that once you begin to speak it will just flow and any nerves will fall by the way side. You will have an engaged audience who take what you have seriously

Remember to keep things in perspective! Don't expect perfection from yourself - just try your best and don't be hard on yourself. Listening is key - to what is being said to you and also paying attention to other people's body language. Remember to breath, talk slowly and pace yourself.

Reframing your perspective that you both have the same motives is an invaluable mindset shift. When communicating with people focused leaders at the end of the day you are striving to create a great product that serves a need while maintaining a thriving culture and profitable company. Find where you align in motive and let that be your focus.

Calmness is power. Showing frustration is a double-edged sword: It can be seen as weakness as you appear to lose control of yourself and therefore the argument; it can demonstrate deep investment in the topic and passion for your point. You probably don't know which way your audience will perceive frustration and so it is risky to allow yourself to lose your calm. Especially with executives. Maintaining calm under pressure is a skill like any other: Strengthen it through practice. Mindfulness apps and meditation techniques not only boost mood, and apparently one's immune system, but our ability to remain calm under pressure. Incorporate mindfulness into your daily Life. Whether at home or for a few minutes on your break at the office.

Perform 4-7-8 breathing techniques: Breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. Use RAIN method as a powerful mindfulness: Recognize Accept Investigate Not-identify Use affirmations: The biggest response to obstacles is to do it anyway I've got a gift worth giving Momentum is messy

Early in my career, I found that stressful meetings could sometimes rattle my composure. Recognizing this as an area for growth, I made a conscious effort to work on maintaining calmness under pressure. Now, I focus on staying centered, using techniques like controlled breathing and mental clarity to keep myself grounded. This shift has allowed me to navigate tense situations more effectively, ensuring that my communication remains assertive and purposeful, regardless of the circumstances.

Using "I" statements in stressful meetings helps you communicate assertively without coming across as confrontational. For example, "You always interrupt me during meetings." This can sound accusatory and might make your superior defensive. "I feel frustrated when I’m interrupted during meetings because I can’t fully express my thoughts. Could we find a way to ensure everyone has a chance to speak?"

When the ask has conflicts with your value then say so in a calm manner. Calmness brings in space for clarity and understanding. An anxious or extreme emotions generate confusion and uneasiness. When the ask is beyond your ability or skill set then respond with a plan so you buy time to meet the challenge.

Setting boundaries starts with clearly defining what is acceptable and unacceptable in terms of how others treat you, as well as how you treat yourself. It involves establishing limits that protect your well-being, prioritize your needs, and respect your values. When you set boundaries, you communicate to others and to yourself what behaviors you will and will not tolerate, how much time and energy you are willing to give, and what your priorities are. It's about understanding and asserting your rights to physical, emotional, and mental health. Setting boundaries is not just about saying no to others; it's also about saying yes to yourself – your needs, your health, and your happiness.

I’ve found this very helpful in gaining confidence in meetings. All business’s have their own style and as you participate more and gain more feedback you will naturally learn to put your information across in a way that suites your business’s style.

I Observe and Adapt; Instead of directly asking for feedback, I prefer to observe the immediate reactions and outcomes following a meeting. I pay close attention to how my communication impacts the work and the responses I receive, whether through body language, follow-up actions, or overall team dynamics. This method allows me to gauge the effectiveness of my approach and make necessary adjustments. It’s a more intuitive way of ensuring that my leadership remains effective and aligned with the needs of the organization.

You want your superiors to value you? Produce something they care about. I worked in HR. It is the pits of management. There is a reason why every HR office in department stores is located next to the bathrooms. If you want to be taken seriously then, you have to show what you can do. My expertise was in bringing in low paid college interns who could work circles around the older more experienced dead heads the managers were clinging to. Once they realized that I could find talent for them at bargain basement salaries who were young, eager, and willing I found I had no trouble sitting at the table with the big boys.

Read books on negotiation, communication (verbal and non-verbal), persuasion, sales and influence. Here are some books for a start: Influence by Robert Cialdini Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss The Like Switch by Jack Schafer Learn to get your point or message across with a smile and by making eye contact. Make sure that there is an enthusiasm that people cannot miss. It takes time and it comes with practice.

Para comunicarte asertivamente con tus superiores en reuniones estresantes, prepárate bien, mantén la calma, y usa un lenguaje claro y directo. Escucha activamente, establece límites con respeto, practica la empatía, y refuerza tus puntos con hechos. Estas estrategias te ayudarán a expresarte con confianza y efectividad en situaciones difíciles.

The "apology habit" is when you frequently and unnecessarily apologize, even when you are not at fault. This is to disarm others and avoid upsetting them preemptively. Typically, it stems from a desire to evade conflict, maintain harmony, or shy away from expressing an opposing opinion. Excessive apologizing hinders your ability to respond genuinely and weakens your assertiveness. It can suggest that you are perpetually in the wrong or to blame, which in turn diminishes your self-worth and sense of entitlement, perpetuating the cycle of unnecessary apologies. The first step is to become aware of when you over-apologize and its effects on your ability to assert yourself, catch and stop yourself from leading with an "I"m sorry, but...

Sorry to bother you, but do you say “sorry” too much? ?? 7 things I’ve stopped saying at work: The more we unnecessarily apologize, the less confidence we subconsciously show (ourselves and others). Here’s what to say instead per Jade Bonacolta: 1. Sorry for rescheduling → Thanks for being flexible! 2. Sorry to bother you → Thanks for carving out time. 3. Sorry for venting → Thanks for listening. 4. Sorry for running late → Thanks so much for waiting. 5. Sorry I had to take that call → Thanks for your patience! 6. Sorry for jumping in → I have an idea that may help. 7. Sorry, does that make sense? → I’m happy to answer any questions!