Networking with introverts: How to break the ice?

Sometimes it can also be useful to simply ask. Perhaps not directly whether someone is introverted, but rather whether the person is feeling well or what topics they would like to talk about. For example, at events you could ask whether you should continue the conversation here or whether you would prefer to talk in private. People are happy when you show interest and this also prevents you from groping around in the dark. Later, when the relationship is a little closer, you can also discuss how communication should ideally be structured to maximize the outcome.

I think we should always look for common ground first. In my experience, there is always some form of shared interests, values or experiences. We can talk about this in an authentic and lively way. This makes it easier to exchange ideas and build a real relationship. This doesn't need any smaltalk or empty talk.

It's easy for people to fill the silence with 'verbal vomit', yet those moments can be key to allowing the other person to speak freely without feeling rushed or like they are butting into the conversation. Try this next time; you'll be surprised by how the conversation goes.

Never pre-formulate the next sentence in your head. Make a firm resolution not to jump into a gap in the conversation immediately. Listening also means enduring brief moments of silence. In my experience, introverts benefit from these short pauses.

Read the signs. You may think the other person is not interested because all they do is look at you and nod. But are they looking over your shoulder or around the room for someone else to talk to? That's when they're probably not interested. Recognise these moments and shift the conversation to engage more deeply with them. Ask them a question instead of sharing everything you know in one breathe.

We are all unique. You may think nothing special or exciting about you or your week. Please don't say 'crazy busy', you are more interesting than you think! Share that with others; you never know what common ground may come from it.

Like golf, networking has etiquette or at least some simple tips to follow: 1. If you are in a group of colleagues or friends, stand open and not in a close circle. Welcome others to come and chat, your at a networking event, after all! 2. If you see someone on their own go up to them and introduce yourself, we've all been in that position. 3. If you are by yourself, engage with a group of 3, one of them is normally not fully engaged in the conversation with the other 2. Please don't disrupt 2 people in deep conversation, or at a minimum wait until they're finished talking.